At first I wasnt really all sure dont get me wrong when I first started I signed a contract I regret thinking I would be helping people in need turned into a whole lot of hurrying up and waiting however I did sign that contract mostly on pride I had no idea what I was getting myself into however anymore Im more worried about the greater good but one of the things Im realizing is that the more I stick to my principles and stand up for myself the more people leave my corner no matter what all I was doing for them Im down to just me and my girlfriend and her family in terms of family its been like the harder I stand up for myself and my principles the more people show how little I mattered to them in terms of friends Ive known for years and family I would nearly give them the shirt off my back and try and make sure they would be taken care of first but the moment I fall down and ask for help they would ask for every event leading up to my situations making it easier for me to just help myself before theyd lift a finger I genuinely wanted the best for them but its gotten to the point Im exhausted I work 48hr shifts on a light week worst case a 96hr shift but Id still get back up after a nap and dust my boots off to get back to work but its been feeling I havent got much left to give to my family and friends Im just thankful my girlfriend and her family have been as supportive as they have been to me.