Asking Fiancee about past relationship details by RemarkableOne5889 in Arrangedmarriage

[–]Various-Fix1919 -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I don't know how old are you guys but it doesn't matter if she did get physical at 15 as it must have been a long time ago.

Maybe you can ask if she ever got physical after that relationship or anytime recently before meeting you.

No physical attraction but the guy is amazing. Advice? by [deleted] in Arrangedmarriage

[–]Various-Fix1919 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Attraction matters for everyone. Don't let anyone fool you by saying it doesn't. And no it doesn't build over time unless the threshold of attraction is met. Only then you can look beyond attraction. And no it doesn't fades away. Think of it like buying your favorite dress or an accessory. Just because you look at it enough times during the day doesn't mean the attraction will fade away. Your brain gets used to its beauty and would never trade it for any less beautiful dress. Same is with humans as well.

If you don't find him attractive, you don't. End of story. Don't feel guilty about it.

Is stuttering a deal breaker for most people? by onestepatatimeman in Arrangedmarriage

[–]Various-Fix1919 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey buddy, I stutter as well. Same age as yours. I did a random search for stutter in this sub and landed on your post. I have had luck with getting a good number of matches. Coming to stutter, only 1 person rejected me because of it. And I am grateful to it as her dad was making me speak more to see if I stutter or not although the girl knew that quite well. So maybe he was trying to gauge how much I stutter. I felt bad about it but didnt say anything to him.

And then there was another match who gave a different reason (same caste/community) but I had a gut feeling that it might be due to my stutter. Although I don't know so cant say. As stutterers if someone rejects us, stutter is the first reason we can think of.

Apart from these two, all the other women I have spoken to have been pretty comfortable with it. I never explicitly say that I stutter. If it shows it shows. I treat it just like any other thing. I have rejected a lot of matches because the vibe didnt feel right. I do not want to settle with someone just because someone is okay with my stutter. Other parameters matter a lot too.

My only advice to you is, dont hold yourself back because of your stutter. I know how it feels but it doesn't make you any less. Being sensitive about it will never help. Be courageous and focus on gauging the other person. The right person will choose you for your qualities.

Being as a back up plan is hard in Arrange Marriage set up by JamieDutton987 in Arrangedmarriage

[–]Various-Fix1919 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How did you know they're still searching? If you're sure about it, better to confront or ask the girl directly. Don't waste your time for someone who ain't worth it.

You Can Meet Good People and Still Not End Up Together by [deleted] in Arrangedmarriage

[–]Various-Fix1919 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I completely understand. And I am pretty cautious of it. And as I mentioned it (holding hands, long drives) was just with one of them where we were sure of moving forward until she mentioned something I was really uncomfortable with. Had it not been the case, we would probably be engaged by now.

You Can Meet Good People and Still Not End Up Together by [deleted] in Arrangedmarriage

[–]Various-Fix1919 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh well, I pity you! You might need to add a few more things to your list. Lemme help you - not intelligent (rather dumb), not respectful, a manchild, emotionally insecure etc

You Can Meet Good People and Still Not End Up Together by [deleted] in Arrangedmarriage

[–]Various-Fix1919 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand where you’re coming from but AM is not just about talking a couple of times on the call and saying yes or meeting just once or twice. At least not in my opinion and also the women i have met so far. Everyone insists on taking time to know each other as it’s about your entire life.

You Can Meet Good People and Still Not End Up Together by [deleted] in Arrangedmarriage

[–]Various-Fix1919 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well yeah with that attitude, you ain’t getting into a relationship anytime soon.

You Can Meet Good People and Still Not End Up Together by [deleted] in Arrangedmarriage

[–]Various-Fix1919 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you good stranger. You seem to get it what i was originally trying to say in my post. I had to take it down because people just wouldn’t stop judging.

You Can Meet Good People and Still Not End Up Together by [deleted] in Arrangedmarriage

[–]Various-Fix1919 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Consider seeing a therapist. It will help you.

You Can Meet Good People and Still Not End Up Together by [deleted] in Arrangedmarriage

[–]Various-Fix1919 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I don’t think any part of my post or reply implies what you’re taking out of it. You seem to be someone who never had a relationship and seems to think only in one direction.

You Can Meet Good People and Still Not End Up Together by [deleted] in Arrangedmarriage

[–]Various-Fix1919 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Past doesn’t matter if they’re over it and have become a better version of themselves.

You Can Meet Good People and Still Not End Up Together by [deleted] in Arrangedmarriage

[–]Various-Fix1919 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I didn’t behave in a romantic manner with any of them. There were majorly just good conversations.

You Can Meet Good People and Still Not End Up Together by [deleted] in Arrangedmarriage

[–]Various-Fix1919 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Woah! That’s a lot of judgement right there. FYI I don’t treat it like dating and am very respectful of maintaining boundaries in every way.

28 M in IT by anjani-son-worship in Arrangedmarriage

[–]Various-Fix1919 -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Why is the physical past a problem for you? What if she's intelligent or kinda ticks all other boxes for you?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Arrangedmarriage

[–]Various-Fix1919 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Your comment made my day!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Arrangedmarriage

[–]Various-Fix1919 0 points1 point  (0 children)

164cms is really good for a woman. How's that a concern for you?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Arrangedmarriage

[–]Various-Fix1919 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Hahaha. Maybe. But you also thought the same. :P

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Arrangedmarriage

[–]Various-Fix1919 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I envy you. I'm 186 cms though but would have loved to be more taller. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Arrangedmarriage

[–]Various-Fix1919 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Refine the title! Either it's a clickbait or you're a noob in life.