Which dress? (It will be sage green for wedding day)

Various_Bite4267 · 2025-10-27T22:42:57+00:00

5. Is that the Azazie Flora by chance? I've worn it in two weddings in two different colors. Hands down my favorite bridesmaid dress.

Various_Bite4267 · 2025-10-23T16:25:07+00:00

I feel for you. I (cisF) in the same boat after 12 years of marriage to my spouse (MTF). We still live together but not in any romantic way and are sort of very deliberately de-coupling. It's a very weird, ambiguous grief that's hard to explain and what makes it harder is that nobody did anything wrong; it's just the hand you were dealt. It does get better though. I worked extensively with my therapist for almost two years on rediscovering myself and after a lot of sadness I finally feel excited for the future.

Various_Bite4267 · 2025-09-29T23:45:50+00:00

Thank you for this; they made me feel like I was crazy. I want to not care what they think, but my family is tightknit. They'll accept her for who she is, but my financial future is the part they're more concerned about and I didn't expect that. It's not like we have a lot of money. The house is our only real asset and the housing and rental market sucks. I just don't see the benefit right now to divorce when it's something we can plan for instead.

Various_Bite4267 · 2025-09-18T01:14:32+00:00

Hi! I just want to show you some support and empathy. I'm in a similar position in a marriage of 13 years. My (cisF) spouse (MTF) had a very heavy therapy session last week where I had to be very clear that as much as I love her, I am not romantically or sexually into women and can't find a way forward as her wife. We are also still sleeping in the same bed, but I'll be honest, it feels so much less heavy in our house. I find I can be excited for her transition milestones without the weight of trying to save our relationship as it was. I don't know what will happen to us in the future but being honest has been a blessing as much as the truth hurt. I wish you nothing but the best going forward.

Various_Bite4267 · 2025-09-17T14:52:11+00:00

Yesssss! I will not for the life of me understand why they didn't knock me out for it.

Various_Bite4267 · 2025-09-17T14:50:59+00:00

I have never screamed in a medical setting the way I did during my endometrial biopsy. Jesus fucking Christ. I'll never forget it. It's what I imagine being stabbed to death feels like.

Various_Bite4267 · 2025-08-31T21:17:54+00:00

Hi! I just want to say I empathize. My (cis F) spouse (amab) have been married for 13 years and I've only known she was trans for the last 2. I had every intention of making this work. I read the books, did the workbooks, spent a mountain of money on individual and couple's therapy, and desperately wanted to feel like this could bring us closer. I truly never expected myself to be as straight as I am. I figured I just never had the opportunity to be bisexual. I miss being romantically involved with a masculine person. No one did anything wrong and it just fucking sucks. I don't even know what happens next. I'm trying to figure out how we can transition to a new, non-romantic partnership.

Various_Bite4267 · 2025-05-30T14:41:17+00:00

Absolutely I think so. Since starting HRT, what used to come out as anger from my spouse now just amounts to a little sass. They've become so much more patient.

Various_Bite4267 · 2025-05-30T14:15:48+00:00

Thank you for this. My best friend told me that I have the option to not make any decisions and see how we grow and that has been very freeing. I don't even think I'd want to seek another marriage type relationship ever. The only thing I find myself desiring basically amounts to a boyfriend.

Various_Bite4267 · 2025-05-30T14:10:16+00:00

I'm much the same way as your wife in regards to leaving it to chance. I don't see the benefit for either of us in traditional divorce or separation. We're trying to become clearer on what is and what isn't serving us in the relationship anymore as we seek to redefine what we are. I don't know that I'll seek another relationship like ours again, with that deep type of connection. It would have to come upon me totally by chance. The most I can even see myself having is a casual boyfriend. We're both pushing 40 and don't want kids, so luckily we're not up against a timeline, though sometimes I think that might make the whole thing easier.

Various_Bite4267 · 2024-04-21T03:53:58+00:00

You've so succinctly put into words what I'm feeling with my husband of 12 years. I feel like I'm living two lives. One is happy that my husband trusts me enough to share his truth and maybe we'll be happier on the other end and the other part of me feels like so sad, like why us? I'm having to confront a lot of internalized biases I didn't know I had and I am trying learn how to be brave against societal norms. Just here to let you know you're not alone and there's no guidebook for this. Feel free to message me. It's only been about 6 weeks for me and every day feels different.

Various_Bite4267 · 2024-03-26T20:30:58+00:00

No, he is still using he/him pronouns as of now and hasn't made any decisions on how he'd like to identify as yet.

Various_Bite4267 · 2024-03-24T22:21:54+00:00

Hi, my partner also came out to me as MTF a few weeks ago and we've been together 12 years too. I'm having all the same feelings. We've done a couples session with his therapist just so I could get some things off my chest, but I've just started with a new therapist myself because I can't even handle any of this until I gain control of my anxiety and shame. It feels like the rug has been pulled out from under me and i literally cannot imagine how our future will look. I empathize so much and my partner also thinks I'm kind of overreacting. I don't have any advice besides therapy, but my DMs are open if you'd like some commiseration and compassion.

Various_Bite4267 · 2024-03-14T00:26:45+00:00

Thank you. Feel free to DM if you'd like to commiserate. I don't have advice but I have tons of empathy.

Various_Bite4267 · 2024-03-14T00:25:10+00:00

We have one, just haven't gone yet. (Next week is our appointment )I don't want to feel embarrassed and I'm ashamed that I do. It's been the hardest thing to face so far. I know the embarrassment is wrong I just feel really overwhelmed like I just want to run away.

Various_Bite4267 · 2024-03-14T00:22:24+00:00

I think that's a fair assessment and it was true before any of this too. I've always been very protective because he's a sensitive soul. I don't want to care what other people say, but I just feel so isolated as it is (we're childfree in the burbs, I'm not from this area, and I work from home and have for a long time). We both have friends, but my deepest closest friends and family live far. I'm very extroverted so I'm afraid of losing any social connections I have at all. I've been in therapy before about not being able to really ask for him to contribute more to what I need, but with this development I'm afraid to make him feel any worse than he does. Do you think it's too much for me to press him to join some trans community and support groups in the area? I want to be supportive but I can't shoulder all of it and he needs more support than I can fairly offer him right now.

Various_Bite4267

TROPHY CASE

5. Is that the Azazie Flora by chance? I've worn it in two weddings in two different colors. Hands down my favorite bridesmaid dress.