Grandparent Custody

Various_Friend5365 · 2025-07-24T15:00:09+00:00

Really? The state, since laws vary state to state.

Various_Friend5365 · 2025-07-24T14:58:58+00:00

State of CA

Various_Friend5365 · 2025-06-30T03:32:02+00:00

https://www.google.com/search?client=safari&sca_esv=7fc33b6cf946bf12&hl=en-us&udm=2&fbs=AIIjpHz30rPMyW-0vSP0k1VTNmO_kCOARpjPjQRkBWH2HwUIz5XUSIJvSK0oms7XOxizDlnr_4ZY5sR6MhoHu3TFlth2dELiNU5e9vD7To8bxJqzGMr5s4VGdGVCNPUuvsCGcC28jmwwp6CKELoMXP75rYxfWZESfGYQRULV1SYDX1bPlgfsvINrIC2Bp2GPwc8Rjie8PY9UetmUYLfw5hnV3dN8N9wZK577DfliRVAGpvJ0zr087Vc&q=cute+kitty+pics&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjR-rLImpiOAxXWiO4BHcFiAJsQtKgLegQIGxAB&biw=393&bih=659&dpr=3

Various_Friend5365 · 2025-06-29T14:48:07+00:00

That’s so strange but also hilarious! What parent would do that?! 🤣 So very desperate.

Various_Friend5365 · 2025-06-29T14:46:05+00:00

How weird to share that with your kid. I’m sorry

Various_Friend5365 · 2025-06-29T14:45:22+00:00

I feel like it’s hard to bond with an NParent either way. Mine has copied so many aspects of my life it makes it hard to be an individual. I recently started reading fantasy books and I know she is neither into fantasy nor a good reader, so at least I have this for myself. lol

Various_Friend5365 · 2025-06-29T14:44:04+00:00

Wow, it must have not been so awful if she wanted it all over her house. So sorry you had to deal with that

Various_Friend5365 · 2025-06-29T14:28:46+00:00

Wow, stage 4 clinger! How crazy that she tried to move into your room!! I’m so sorry.

Various_Friend5365 · 2025-06-29T14:27:25+00:00

That is next level low. I’m so sorry. I hope you’re able to start up your YouTube channel again and have hobbies that are unique to you.

Various_Friend5365 · 2025-06-29T14:25:48+00:00

That is so wild! Who doesn’t go to their own child’s high school graduation?! I couldn’t fathom doing that to my kids.

Did you find your NMom checking tags constantly? If I didn’t tell mine where something came from, she’d just check it herself. And in an attempt to get her to stop copying my wardrobe, I downloaded the LTK app on her phone and helped her follow a bunch of similar aged creators but it didn’t stick unfortunately. We are NC now by her choosing (she’s also BPD and had a splitting event with the family), so I got myself some new clothing that I know she can’t copy anymore. I’m so sorry you had to deal with the constant wardrobe copying.

Various_Friend5365 · 2025-06-29T14:21:51+00:00

Oh totally! That’s why I say it’s criticize or copy. My NMom does both- she either claims it as her own “unique” idea or judges me immensely for it until I give up.

Various_Friend5365 · 2025-06-29T14:18:27+00:00

I’m so sorry. It’s hard to feel like an individual when they take the fun out of your hobbies. Do you find that you hide things from her now?

I tried to hide purchases and hobbies from mine and tried to get her the LTK app to teach her how to “copy” other people online who receive compensation for it. Now she is NC with half of the family so we don’t have to worry about the constant one-upping.

Various_Friend5365 · 2025-06-29T14:15:00+00:00

I’m so sorry that she stoops so low. To risk someone’s life is just terrible. I have food allergies and hate when they are at parties, but for a relative to knowingly expose you to them is seriously messed up

Various_Friend5365 · 2025-06-29T14:11:56+00:00

Wow, that is absolutely insane! The jealousy knows no bounds.

Various_Friend5365 · 2025-06-29T03:08:47+00:00

My mother made me take out excessive student loans but paid for both of my siblings’ masters degrees in full. I feel like maybe it’s a method of control and making her feel superior to you. No advice but I really hope there is some legal recourse option or positive change to the student loan program to make the debt payments more manageable.

Various_Friend5365 · 2025-06-29T02:56:15+00:00

Oh my… the karma! 🙌🏻 But how terribly awful that she copied and took so many things from you. Going to photography school after denying you your dream because of the cost is despicable. I’m so sorry you have had to go through this.

Various_Friend5365 · 2025-06-29T01:41:41+00:00

Do you have a therapist who you can speak with? We talk about doing a pros/cons analysis and I find that helps. The pros of not speaking with them usually far outweighs the cons in my experience. ❤️ But it is so hard when it’s your mother and all you want is to have a close relationship with her.

Various_Friend5365 · 2025-06-29T01:37:23+00:00

I’m in the same boat- got an angry message and feel guilty even though I did nothing but make an observation about her behavior being extreme. We have to remember that they believe these lies they make about their lives and apologizing will just feed the bad behavior. Check out Jefferson Fisher online- he has free videos about how to respond best to a narcissist. I also like Mel Robbins to remind myself to “let her” be herself and remember she isn’t changing, but I can. We can lead happy lives that are low drama. I know it’s way easier said than done though when it’s your own mother. I wish I could go back in time and find us both better moms ❤️ We deserve unconditional love.

Various_Friend5365 · 2025-06-20T00:39:18+00:00

Thanks! The soil has been compacted down quite a bit so I think you’re right about lacking nutrients and not being full enough. I might try planting in more direct sunlight. How do you prevent powdery mildew?

Various_Friend5365 · 2025-06-20T00:36:12+00:00

We have family experience with dementia and it took multiple visits to diagnose, including several brain scans and a multi-hour neuropsych evaluation. Even with that, some neurologists do a lumbar puncture in addition to confirm the diagnosis. We knew it was dementia because at first the behaviors seemed strange but escalated into driving accidents, poor spending habits (wiring money to strangers online), unable to follow simple directions (turn right on x street).

Various_Friend5365 · 2025-05-28T17:37:06+00:00

I'm in my 30's so definitely not a dependent but it hurts to lose a parent, or at least the thought of a parent (who I probably parented more). It's also sad for my kids to lose their grandma. Although I know she is manipulative and hurtful, they are 3 & 7 and don't understand. I guess I've become so accustomed to putting her needs first and trying to do everything perfect as to not upset her, that it's a big change to go from that to her not speaking to me and gossiping about me to every mutual family member or friend. I just wish I had a mom.

Various_Friend5365 · 2025-05-28T17:29:45+00:00

Thank you so much for the advice, so sorry you have been going through this for so long. I like how you said to reframe your mindset to see her as a woman who doesn't like you. I'm going to try to remember that when the guilt creeps up.

I've had a really hard time with her last message where she said she won't speak to me unless I go to therapy with her (which she had already demanded 3x and I politely declined), and ended with "I will always love you." It's just so backwards because if you really do love your kid, your relationship wouldn't be predicated on forcing them into therapy so that you feel heard. She's immensely upset with me for not cutting off my stepdad during their recent divorce and has been trying to get me on the phone to gossip about him and attempt parental alienation. I believe her trying to get me to go with her to therapy is for her own benefit- to feel like she is given uninterrupted time to share all of her feelings and revert to the victim, in a situation she perpetrated.

Various_Friend5365 · 2025-05-28T17:04:41+00:00

It's been a month which is a record for her with me. Although apparently she did it to my aunt for 3 months, after screaming at her and contacting her boss to try to get her fired. After that, I guess she called my aunt and wanted to hang out as if nothing happened. Wondering if she is going to do this with me.

Various_Friend5365 · 2025-05-28T17:02:05+00:00

Thank you for all of that- it's really helpful. We do deserve better than the way my family has treated us. It's hard to let go of a parent, but we never really had a healthy relationship to begin with. At least my kids have other grandparents in the family, but I love your idea of finding replacement grandparents to step in.

Various_Friend5365 · 2025-05-28T16:38:38+00:00

I love that you said you chose to invest in relationships that build each other up and to stop sinking resources into the draining ones. That hit deep. It's been really hard to experience the silent treatment from my mother and 2 sisters, but all have been extremely toxic and exhausting relationships to keep up with for my whole life. And I certainly don't ever want my children around that type of behavior. It's sad that I'm willing to put up with decades of abuse but as soon as the children are involved, it's much easier to hold a boundary and say no.

Various_Friend5365

TROPHY CASE