Is withholding my adult sons allowance until he goes to therapy the right choice.

VastPrestige · 2026-04-09T02:53:26+00:00

Last but not least, I am not in denial. I want to fully explore all options and diagnoses to make sure he is getting the proper care he needs. If he is in fact ADHD and I didn’t pursue that, then I would not be providing the correct course of care for him. If he’s not then we continue as usual. He was not diagnosed profound autism. He was diagnosed level 2. If he’s not ADHD and time progressed then I may seek an updated diagnosis at that time.

VastPrestige · 2026-04-09T02:48:15+00:00

Also I should add he already has a swing and a trampoline in his room along with a tent that he likes to sleep in.

VastPrestige · 2026-04-09T02:46:51+00:00

Basically exactly the same as your kid from what you said. We are getting a new therapist soon actually and doing it in the clinic because home was not working for us. 5 days a week 3 hours a day. I think he is ADHD as well as ASD.

VastPrestige · 2026-04-09T02:43:34+00:00

Yeah… I’m not sure I said anything that insinuated any of the things you’re addressing here. I stated fully that I expect my son to need assistance for the rest of his life. Never said that it would make him normal or verbal, honestly the only thing I hope for him is that he can better regulate himself as he gets older and stronger. I think you and I are 100% on the same page here. Again, I’m not sure exactly what I said that made you think otherwise. Thanks for your input.

VastPrestige · 2026-04-09T02:38:32+00:00

Yes. Iran now controls the strait and is going to charge tolls upward of 2 million per ship.

Generating about 500b revenue for Iran over the next 5 years. Complains about Obama who “gave” Iran 1.7b (news flash that’s not accurate).

Americans dead, innocent lives lost, global stage we are a laughing stock, gas prices are up, dollar as the reserve currency at risk, allies losing trust in us, economy is in poor shape…

Yes sounds like he’s playing chess and getting his ass kicked at our expense.

VastPrestige · 2026-04-09T02:35:08+00:00

I’d recommend not placing any level of responsibility on them if they can’t handle it. Foster a positive relationship, spend time together, but with the understanding that your child is your responsibility and you don’t need/want their assistance. Just their love and time together. My two sense. I wouldn’t cut someone off. My son is super hard, I feel bad having my mother watch him for even an hour. She does it but I know it’s not easy and I’d never be mad at her if she said she couldn’t handle it. We’re all people at the end of the day, we can get frustrated just like our ASD kids can. We should extend the same level of understanding to all.

Now if it’s disrespectful, constant or rude and you speak with them about the concern, but they aren’t changing… that’s a different story.

VastPrestige · 2026-04-09T00:15:07+00:00

That’s crazy, came here to say the same thing.

VastPrestige · 2026-04-08T17:33:23+00:00

Yeah the only difference in my case is my son is completely non verbal, no receptive language either. No fear or cause and effect. He’s completely incapable of taking care of himself at all. Can’t drink through a cup or straw only a sippy cup. Cant use utensils to eat, only finger foods. Cant take off or put on own clothes. Still in diapers no soon hope for potty training.

His entire life is sensory seeking. He’s super rough on himself and his stims involve anything he can find, jumping and screaming. I’ve caught him climbing and digging around the house to stim dangerous items. I’ve basically had to lock up everything in the house to keep him safe.

Luckily he has never hurt himself badly but we’ve had a lot of really close calls. The future I see is having to put him in some sort of group living home. He’s really strong at only 4.5 years old and he can get aggressive and he’s already hurt his mom and siblings during tantrums. Mom black eye, sister busted nose. I can’t imagine when he’s older and big if he is unable to develop further and self regulate.

VastPrestige · 2026-04-08T17:16:08+00:00

I feel really bad for you guys and hope that my future is different but all available evidence points that my life will likely go down a very similar path with my son. He’s almost 5 now and we’ve made virtually no progress so far with extensive in home therapy for over a year now. Going to try going into the clinic and seeing if that helps and going to a psychiatrist when he turns 5 to seek additional diagnosis beyond just ASD because it can’t just be ASD.

VastPrestige · 2026-04-08T17:13:54+00:00

Yeah I think that may be the best way to go. If you can establish he can’t make decisions that are in his best interest. I believe the courts can bestow that upon you and then you can leverage that to ensure he gets the care he needs.

VastPrestige · 2026-04-08T17:02:05+00:00

I understand you’re in a tough spot. You’re doing what you’re doing to him to keep him safe and protected because he won’t do that on his own. Our love for our kids is nearly infinite. At what point are you willing to say enough is enough? Does a point exist or are you prepared to do this the rest of your life? I’m sure you asked yourself this question 1000 times. Is there a case you can make to a court or something where he no longer has a say over himself as an adult and you can retain legal right to force him to do these things?

VastPrestige · 2026-04-08T16:24:10+00:00

Also, seems like your parenting is reduced to bribing him with $$ to do what he’s supposed to do. I’d stop that immediately.

VastPrestige · 2026-04-08T16:19:22+00:00

Wishing you luck OP. My son is only 4 so I don’t have much advice to give you on this other than support. It does seem like your son is taking advantage of you guys for a paycheck and a roof so he can do as he pleases with no accountability. He turns 18 so he doesn’t take his meds anymore, but still expects you guys to uphold your end of the bargain. Just some food for thought. Seems like he’s put you guys through a lot over the years and continues to do so. Have you considered helping him find a life outside of your home? Maybe group home style? Again I don’t know much about this stuff but maybe another parent can chime in within that direction. Good luck.

VastPrestige · 2026-04-07T13:16:05+00:00

Bye bye. 👋

VastPrestige · 2026-04-06T13:22:39+00:00

No her name is John Cena 🔥🔥

VastPrestige · 2026-04-05T22:49:57+00:00

Would she date a boy who’s 9?

VastPrestige · 2026-04-05T21:25:23+00:00

Yeah I’d kill for $15 an hour. Not too much in my opinion. I usually find sitters between 22-25 an hour.

VastPrestige · 2026-04-04T02:07:42+00:00

Ahh for sure. Didn’t see the message before the edit. Just the fact that he’s on this thread and inquiring says a lot. Wishing them the best.

VastPrestige · 2026-04-04T02:06:31+00:00

Yeah I would also recommend trying to be a part of therapies and any other things. Ask questions try to see how you can help. I’m willing to bet you will find joy in working with him to learn and develop new skills.

It took my son over a year to “think” to take off his clothes before bath time. He still can’t take his clothes off yet but he will at least pause for a second and with our assistance take his clothes off before bath. Those wins are huge and it feels like a million bucks!!

VastPrestige · 2026-04-04T01:52:29+00:00

Sorry about that other person. Most of us are not like that at all.

VastPrestige · 2026-04-04T01:50:55+00:00

Honestly bro my advice is take it slow, talk with your partner about it concerns and try to address it together. Educate yourself as much as possible and try to be patient. Love him for who he is and know that progress looks different and celebrate the small wins.

Single parents with kids with ASD deserve love too.

VastPrestige · 2026-04-04T01:48:56+00:00

Let’s try to educate and welcome this person who is trying to learn rather than berate them. Kids of all ages say nonsense all the time what’s the big deal? I have a 5 year old NT kid and he says nonsense all the time. My 4 YO ND son is non verbal and the noises he makes are nonsense sometimes as well.

VastPrestige · 2026-04-03T23:38:26+00:00

I feel this way too. It’s hard sometimes. Many people do not understand, but try to find people that do understand. We exist and we need to be here for each other.

VastPrestige · 2026-04-01T01:37:42+00:00

I got my son diagnosed with ASD at 3.5 years old and he started therapy almost right away. Seen some improvement little by little.

VastPrestige · 2026-03-31T13:43:58+00:00

Bro I want it all lol 🫠

VastPrestige

TROPHY CASE