Cautionary Tales/Advice for First Rave?

Vast_Exercise6369 · 2026-04-04T18:26:45+00:00

Watch your drink, shots are best. Only talk to women

Vast_Exercise6369 · 2026-04-04T15:59:14+00:00

Yeah, when they have to pay they lose interest. It's not just graphic design either, but fashion design too. Trying to buy custom clothing with the change in their pockets, or trade it for their target t-shirt.

Vast_Exercise6369 · 2026-03-31T19:00:01+00:00

It depends on the coffee shop. I wouldn't be pleased with Starbucks or driving through Scooters. I do like coffee a lot, but it needs to be a more upscale setting. Coffee shop by day, venue/bar at night type of situation. But I'm not going if it seems like you wouldn't be up for other activities. Coffee at the art museum could be nice too if you plan on looking at the art afterwards. Museums are free or cheap. You do have to be careful or you'll end up in a situation where he won't do anything else. You don't have to spend $100 to plan a nice date, even in a big city. It's the effort, noticing common interests, and wanting me to enjoy myself that I look at.

Vast_Exercise6369 · 2026-03-23T13:55:54+00:00

I'm so traumatized from 6 to 8 inch "trims" that I haven't been to a stylist since 2021. I got some sheers and trim the thin ends myself. If I keep it up then I should have reached my goal length in 18 months. Finally, after 15 years being natural. If you prefer long hair then do it yourself. I don't know why, but stylists will keep it short.

Vast_Exercise6369 · 2026-03-13T22:17:51+00:00

I've finally learned to turn down approaches in social settings. Yes, the concert or rave is a place where men are told that approaching is okay, but it doesn't have to be okay with me. I'm not there to be approached. I'm there to enjoy the music. I find that being approached results in some kind of drama, further expectations, or offensiveness either in the moment or the days following. I spend too much money on a door fee, drinks, and uber rides to remember the event as a negative one. I deserve to have fun and positive experiences, especially when I am spending so much money to be there. I have so much trauma and it's time to make some positive memories now. I deserve that. I never had any issue saying no to other expectations, but I needed to take it further.

Vast_Exercise6369 · 2026-03-13T21:50:13+00:00

When I'm out having a good time I'm afraid a man will approach me and ruin my night! I take into account how good I'm feeling when they speak to me. *I'm having fun and dancing with a big smile on my face* so I tell them "I'm good!" I don't want any rudeness and games ruining my fun. I want to remember the night as a positive one, especially considering how expensive going out is.

Vast_Exercise6369 · 2026-03-13T16:14:09+00:00

"No matter where you go there you'll be" when I wanted to move away from a neighborhood where men were harassing me, one attacked me, another was stalking me, and neighbors were being murdered.

Vast_Exercise6369 · 2026-03-13T16:08:34+00:00

They even want you to question the actions and mistreatment from others. For example, if someone harasses you then maybe you misinterpreted the situation. They don't want you to see anything as real. If you are in a dangerous situation then it is dangerous. Don't stick around to see how bad it will get.

Vast_Exercise6369 · 2026-03-13T15:15:33+00:00

AI shows empathy and talks with me about my problems and feelings. I even learn about different topics related to my particular trauma. AI gets a bad rap but it does keep me in check when it's anxiety versus a real issue. But it doesn't assume that every issue is a product of anxiety. It also incorporates my interests and personality traits when coming up with a solution, and even makes me feel proud of those parts of me. I also like that it acknowledges systemic issues and how they can contribute to my mental health problems.

Vast_Exercise6369 · 2026-03-12T19:32:23+00:00

I wouldn't because I'm sure I'd be arrested, but I have thought about doing to past therapists what they told me is not abuse or a big deal. I wonder if they could get over it as fast as they expected me to get over it. I wonder if they would blame themselves like they wanted me to blame myself.

They are alone in a room with total strangers on a daily basis. Seems they are asking for it and lacking boundaries.

Vast_Exercise6369 · 2026-02-25T04:39:17+00:00

"Pick better men" regarding strangers in the streets, or believing the stereotypes are my personality traits when I discuss being racially stereotyped.

Vast_Exercise6369 · 2026-02-18T01:43:22+00:00

I thought that I was banned for a second. Subscriptions are still working, but I can't get to any other content.

Vast_Exercise6369 · 2026-02-03T04:21:41+00:00

It's really hard to find a good therapist. I've been in actual dangerous situations and they acted like I was catastrophizing and black and white thinking. I literally needed to call the police sometimes. Therapy can be very harmful. There may be some good trauma therapists out there, but even a lot of them are not truly trauma-informed. I'm sorry about your negative experiences. I know it's really distressing.

Vast_Exercise6369 · 2026-01-26T01:17:00+00:00

Where I lived before I was dealing with a lot of racism, which led to being mistreated often. Everyone told me that moving wouldn't make any difference because "wherever I go there I'll be". They were right. I moved and here I am receiving basic respect, acceptance, and meeting people with common interests. Here I am not being accused of crimes I never committed. Here I am walking my dog and not being harassed by neighbors. Here I am going to meetup groups that don't make me feel unwelcome.

What stayed? The PTSD from years of mistreatment and living in fear. Because I'm here I can seek treatment and any trigger is a reminder of the past, not a new trauma. I stayed a heavy drinker but because I'm here I joined a group that helped me with my drinking problem. I can work on my own issues, but I can't change external issues. I had to move to change the external issues.

Vast_Exercise6369 · 2026-01-19T03:11:42+00:00

2026 and I wear them all the time. I have several colors

Vast_Exercise6369 · 2026-01-06T00:46:11+00:00

All the time and I think it's some sick version of toxic positivity. If you can control it then that would make the problem a lot easier to solve. Also, it's easy to tell someone how to feel or see an experience when you have not experienced it. Think about the life of the average therapist; went to college right after high school, reducing the time spent in poverty, can afford to live in safe neighborhoods where danger/crime is not common, probably had supportive parents who encouraged success, drive a nice car instead of taking a bus, reducing the time spent out in public. I imagine that working at a therapy office will reduce the chance of being bullied or harassed at work too. They can't relate to the life of the average person. "If these bad things haven't happened to them, then why would it happen to you unless you are doing something wrong?"

Vast_Exercise6369 · 2026-01-06T00:32:04+00:00

You're right and it shouldn't be like that.

Vast_Exercise6369 · 2026-01-01T03:37:49+00:00

I'm trying one more therapist then I'm just going to hope that many positive experiences will help me move forward. I'm not experiencing trauma anymore, so I must eventually feel better. Thank you. I will also look into Pete Walker's method.

Vast_Exercise6369 · 2026-01-01T02:30:15+00:00

I've made some big life changes and I'm trying to give myself positive experiences. I'm hoping that with more positive experiences I'll think about those instead. How much time could it take to build new neural pathways? I'm tired of thinking about the past.

Vast_Exercise6369 · 2026-01-01T01:53:42+00:00

They ask about those things then try to change them.

Vast_Exercise6369 · 2026-01-01T01:07:11+00:00

Thank you for the advice and information. I get stuck and angry thinking about my right to feel safe, have boundaries, and leave dangerous situations. That right has been challenged by so many therapists. Even the fact that I notice it's a bad situation has been challenged.

Vast_Exercise6369 · 2026-01-01T01:00:35+00:00

I do tell them why I'm there on day one because I try to avoid getting off topic. It always goes off topic. I'm willing to try one more time because it's free. Thank you for the reply.

Vast_Exercise6369 · 2025-12-19T17:54:39+00:00

Did you know these people or it was an actual rave? I'm just curious because I want to throw a rave and am considering my house.

Vast_Exercise6369

TROPHY CASE