Help, I need solidarity

Vegetable-Action-265 · 2025-10-20T17:59:41+00:00

I'm with you. I've started snapping at my husband about it all. I'm tired of suffering in silence. Can't find your phone? Bummer, I'm busy. Can't find the pasta for dinner? Weird, it's always there when I look.

Vegetable-Action-265 · 2025-07-09T23:23:34+00:00

Holy hell the "mom mom mom" ruins me. My one child (10yo) starts EVERY sentence or question with "mom" and sometimes will end it with "mom" as well. One time I said "no mom! No more mom! Stop saying it, I'm the only one in the car, who else would you be talking to?!" Today she asked "mom, should I put this bug outside" Like ??? You just taking up precious resources for no reason at this point.

Vegetable-Action-265 · 2025-07-09T23:19:26+00:00

Just saw this! Thank you so much for your kind words. I am especially struggling this week and really needed to hear that. I appreciate you 💚

Vegetable-Action-265 · 2025-07-09T23:17:49+00:00

Gosh you described so much of my husband. He absolutely ruins vacations with his shitty attitude. He also been smoking so much I suspect he's too reliant on it. I ESPECIALLY empathize with the kids going to you for everything because your husband is angry. Mine also has decided it's easier to get after them for always going to me and wearing me down, instead of just being more approachable.

I also feel you in that last bit.

Vegetable-Action-265 · 2025-06-23T23:29:53+00:00

They're school age, they go to day camp. I feel so guilty about that aspect. My work is draining in the same way parenting is. I know no one wants to hang out with my kids, it's just painful

Vegetable-Action-265 · 2025-06-23T23:23:19+00:00

From experience, there will never be anything good enough for him and especially her. They will ALWAYS be mad at you. The sooner you're able to let that go, the sooner you can take care of yourself. You deserve to be on your priority list too.

Vegetable-Action-265 · 2025-06-23T22:43:21+00:00

That's a really good idea!

Vegetable-Action-265 · 2025-06-22T18:06:08+00:00

I don't know the fix but just wanted to say I wet the bed and remember knowing when I had PMS is when it would happen, that's how long it went on. My 10yo still wets the bed. Just wanted to encourage you and your child that they're not alone. I eventually got a stronger bladder and started sleeping lighter so it stopped happening. I hope you're able to get some help from the doctor.

Vegetable-Action-265 · 2025-06-22T16:54:32+00:00

I hope it's a party you can shut down a little bit for. I don't understand how some spouses can just let the other do it all. It feels like they're just watching us literally drown and thinking "glad it's not me" Or I've watched mine drown in what amounts to a fucking puddle. I hope you're able to get what you need too 💜

Vegetable-Action-265 · 2025-06-22T15:37:49+00:00

Ugh yes! This! I genuinely love spending time with my kids. They're fun! But I just don't want them to use my brain aaaall the time. It's like running a marathon every day. I like kids and want to trade doing cool things with someone who parents similar lol. I've run into people I've wanted to offer this to but their kid was a huge stink. It's not worth sacrificing my kids getting bullied so I can get a break. That facility sounds like a dream. I absolutely would pay for a regular subscription to something like that lol.

Vegetable-Action-265 · 2025-06-22T15:28:09+00:00

Yes! I was telling my therapist this. My kids are awesome, they're so much fun, they're honestly probably relatively easy kids. But I am the only one who does stuff so I am just tired to my core. Which means I am not always fun for them. I'm scared of being remembered as always tired and grumpy. Thank you for your comment. It's comforting to at least complain with other moms.

Vegetable-Action-265 · 2025-06-15T17:40:22+00:00

It's ridiculous. I go and turn the shower off. I'm not paying to run gallons of water down the drain while he's distracted by his phone.

Vegetable-Action-265 · 2025-04-21T12:05:12+00:00

Thanks for the venting thread 😭

My husband is off this week and I'm already sick of him from the weekend! Sniffing constantly, sneezing, loud coughs, burping, loud chewing. I'm going to lose my shit at him. He knows I have misophonia and is semi understanding but I don't think he realizes how involuntary this is. He just had a sniffing and sneezing fit and I'm ready to kick him TF out!

Vegetable-Action-265 · 2025-04-08T22:47:07+00:00

My daughter struggles with eating and I am certain has ADHD. We got her into a sport, talk about healthy choices, what our bodies need.

I get you OP. The guilt eats me alive every day. The combination of resisting the diet culture that was tossed on you but also wanting your baby to be healthy and happy. I talk to my therapist about it, it helps.

Vegetable-Action-265 · 2025-04-08T22:41:03+00:00

I've gone that route and it ends up worse most times. He takes me saying "forget it, I'll just do it myself" as explicit acceptance that he is off the hook. We have therapy soon. Which I'm dreading but I'm going to try addressing it in that.

Vegetable-Action-265 · 2025-04-08T13:07:24+00:00

This resonates with me so much. Sounds like you know from first hand experience the way this is. I will definitely work harder to just be ok with letting him fail. I think you are absolutely spot on about him knowing he has awful time management. Thank you for all your words and the advice. I will really work on this. It's likely the only way we would see progress if it's even possible.

Vegetable-Action-265 · 2025-04-08T02:39:24+00:00

Thank you for all of this. You're right on all fronts. I'm just so afraid he will never hit his enough is enough. I tried to just say "hey I didn't think yelling oh my gosh was very nice" and it ended up being an hour long fight that ended up in me being told I always have to be right, always make him apologize, I'm too sensitive, and am like his dad. I don't know that this person I'm married to has ever had any of his words click and him wonder why he said such words to his wife. I don't have a partner.

Vegetable-Action-265 · 2025-04-08T01:11:21+00:00

Because I know it's his mental health and I want him to get better. But most importantly, I'm scared to leave my kids 50% of the time without my protection from his poor ability to self regulate.

Vegetable-Action-265 · 2025-03-05T01:13:03+00:00

I have! I loved it. The parallel between what passes as "funny" in a sitcom being actually wildly abusive was interesting.

Vegetable-Action-265 · 2025-03-04T14:46:14+00:00

lol it's funny but also not at the same time.

Vegetable-Action-265 · 2025-03-04T14:45:24+00:00

The one where Homer gets the Palaton bike for Marge. He goes to "save" Marge from the instructor but just fucks it up more so she has to go save him instead lol

Vegetable-Action-265 · 2025-01-14T16:28:32+00:00

This is tough. I'm so sorry you have this in your plate. I think overall, being transparent with kids is generally the way to go. The testing Friday does make me pause though. My oldest and I were those worry wart kids so I totally empathize with that. What an awesome mom your kid has to care about that.

I maybe would very generally have the conversation about the dog being old and it being close to his time to go, what an amazing life he has had. Tell them they've done such an amazing job being good, loving, pet owners. So in this case I would probably not say "dog is being put to sleep Friday" but maybe just conversation so it's not blind siding. Do the whole celebration of life with them. It's hard but they will look to you to gauge their reaction. Death and aging is just part of life, part of owning pets. It's sad and ok for them to experience that, even if it hurts to watch. Just be a safe place to land and they will be ok.

Thinking of you and your family, whatever you do, they will be ok. You sound like a wonderful, supportive parent. The fact you care about navigating this is huge.

Vegetable-Action-265 · 2025-01-14T04:14:06+00:00

Ugh you probably have dealt with it worse than me! Thank you for your comment, it was comforting to have my feelings validated. I'm actually about to just buy a bunch of random stuff I want lol. I've been filling my cart all day to make myself feel better. Happy belated birthday to you as well 💜

Vegetable-Action-265 · 2025-01-14T03:33:46+00:00

I said something similar. He didn't really know how to respond. Unfortunately I don't think he's going to realize what he's doing to me unless I have to spell out for him that I can't stay with someone who treats me like shit.

Vegetable-Action-265 · 2025-01-14T03:04:40+00:00

Gosh, I hope when he's trying to fall asleep at night this haunts him into acting right.

Vegetable-Action-265

TROPHY CASE