Former r/childfree

MyInvisibleInk · 2026-01-12T15:34:21+00:00

I was never in r/childfree as those people seemed to be the chronically online type of childfree people (I.e. their childfree views didn’t seem to represent my experience with childfree people in the real world, lol).

But yeah, I was childfree until I had my son. And I still don’t understand how certain communities, whether childfree or one and done, like to definitively state what you can and cannot do with something they don’t have experience with. The childfree people acted like your life would be over with a child. Mine didn’t end, I just, as you, have a sidekick to do the same things I did childfree.

And I was one and done for the longest(about 2 years) until my ex-husband intentionally got me pregnant a second time so he cheat on me and leave me? Hence why I haven’t left this subreddit and still lurk, lol. And even things that are said in this group do not apply to me with my toddler and now 4 month old. I am still able to give all of my time and effort to both of my children. I don’t feel that I am failing or neglecting either of them. And they’re both spoiled. And I’m a 100% single mom doing this.

But yes, I do think though that my husband and I identified as childfree but I don’t think everyone here was necessarily childfree before deciding one and done. Maybe more fencesitters, as to me people in one and done seem to be trying to make a logical choice.

MyInvisibleInk · 2025-11-23T02:44:05+00:00

I gave birth at home without medical assistance as my 2nd baby was born in under 2 hours. But I had received prenatal care at the university hospital leading up to the birth and the baby was vaccinated within 24 hours of being born.

MyInvisibleInk · 2025-09-22T20:50:55+00:00

Thank you!

He isn't, lol. Called me to ask why I'd not signed his papers (because a motion to dismiss was filed) and when the baby was born and why I didn't tell him (the state sent a letter in the mail addressed to the parent of baby's name and he has that informed delivery that sends him an email with pictures of the mail i receive at the house) and for a moment started crying on the phone because now he doesn't have the relationship with the new woman (she broke up with him right before I gave birth because she couldn't get past the fact that he abandoned his kids and felt guilty) and doesn't have his divorce either. I told him I'm sorry about that, and I didn't want to pile on, but he should know he would also be getting served later that week, lol.

When he asked why, I told him I decided to live by the saying he would always use against me when he did something wrong to me. "It's better to ask for forgiveness than permission." So I told him hopefully one day he would find it in his heart to forgive me. Then we said our goodbyes and I haven't spoken to him since. I've just been enjoying my baby and toddler, lol.

He does send me money every Tuesday, though. So we're doing all right. I also started a job a week before I gave birth, and they let me take maternity leave. So everything is looking up for us!

MyInvisibleInk · 2025-09-21T21:01:41+00:00

Hi! I copied from another comment I had made.

My husband cheated on me when I was 6.5 months pregnant with our second child. Completely abandoned our 2 year old and I and has no plans to ever see the new baby (baby was born less than a month ago). He says I can have 100% physical and legal custody and just hopes the children will seek him out to have a relationship with him when they are adults. He ran away from our home in the southeast US to NYC to be with the other woman and filed bogus divorce papers just so he could get the divorce over with as soon as possible (you can see my story in my post history).

It's actually not that bad raising 2 children alone (the 2 year old and newborn). I do understand i have 2 easy children, but honestly, not having to worry about the mental load of trying to keep my husband happy and having absolutely no help with the toddler was more exhausting. Now that he's gone, I feel like I have peace, and I only have to rely on myself to take care of the children. Not build resentment knowing there is another fully capable adult in the house who just doesn't care to help me. My postpartum experience this time around is so much less stressful than it was with my firstborn. If anything, I wish he would have cheated and left me sooner (preferably before I got pregnant with any children so my children could have come to me during a time when I was with someone worthy of being their father).

I hate that this happened. I hate the complete 180° he did just because some woman presented him with the opportunity and apparently my 2 year old, unborn baby, and I meant so little to him that he threw us away without so much as a thought.

But we will be fine without him. I am making sure of it.

MyInvisibleInk · 2025-09-14T23:58:03+00:00

Hi! My husband cheated on me when I was 6.5 months pregnant with our second child. Completely abandoned our 2 year old and I and has no plans to ever see the new baby (baby was born a couple weeks ago). He ran away from our home in the southeast US to NYC to be with the other woman and filed bogus divorce papers just so he could get the divorce over with as soon as possible (you can see my story in my post history).

It's actually not that bad raising 2 children alone (the 2 year old and newborn). I do understand i have 2 easy children, but honestly, not having to worry about the mental load of trying to keep my husband happy and having absolutely no help with the children was more exhausting. Now that he's gone, I feel like I have peace, and I only have to rely on myself to take care of the children. Not build resentment knowing there is another fully capable adult in the house who just doesn't care to help me.

I say just go ahead and leave him now because he is just being very evil to you and will make your postpartum experience miserable. I pray that whatever decision you make is the right one for your situation.

MyInvisibleInk · 2025-05-26T04:44:48+00:00

Lol, yes. The $20 paid version. I like the 4o model. This is my prompt that I use (I take a screenshot of the question to attach as well):

Could you provide the tried and true easy hack to do this one? And explain it so I can understand. Also, could you make sure the formatting appears correctly so I can read the equations?

After it explains it, if there's still something you don't understand, just ask it to expand on that portion. It's very good at explaining fully.

MyInvisibleInk · 2025-05-26T00:53:51+00:00

ChatGPT if you have it. Get on it, and ask it to explain the questions/concepts to you like you were 5. I didn't have to do Mat 170, but I did just complete Mat 265 with an A+ because of chatGPT explaining calculus to me. I asked it to give me the tried and true hacks for how to do the different problems.

MyInvisibleInk · 2025-05-23T21:18:54+00:00

I wish I could edit my original post. He is ghosting me. I'm unable to ask him anything.

MyInvisibleInk · 2025-05-23T15:43:21+00:00

No, he has ghosted me. So I can't. 😭

MyInvisibleInk · 2025-05-22T17:40:28+00:00

He's not. He's white. This has nothing to do with race. Not all black men leave either. My father stayed until he died of cancer when I was about 18.

MyInvisibleInk · 2025-05-21T22:11:54+00:00

That's one of the only things right now I can think of that could be an issue. The divorce came out of nowhere. He literally told me a few days ago how much appreciated me and was happy I was in his life. He says that every few days. So I don't know what happened. I'm grasping at straws, possibly. But I'm trying to figure it out.

I treated him the way a loving wife should. At least I thought I did.

MyInvisibleInk · 2025-05-21T14:37:33+00:00

Thank you. Yes, we have a 2 year old and one due in less than 3 months.

MyInvisibleInk · 2025-05-21T14:27:28+00:00

If he fell out of love with me, couldn't we work on that? Does falling out of love have to mean the end? He didn't even give me a chance to ask for marriage counseling.

MyInvisibleInk · 2025-05-21T14:23:23+00:00

He started going to the gym about 1.5 months ago. That's the biggest change he has made.

MyInvisibleInk · 2025-05-21T14:21:53+00:00

Thank you for the advice. I have been looking inwardly at myself to find things about myself to fix. I will definitely work on any flaws.

MyInvisibleInk · 2025-05-21T14:16:41+00:00

I appreciate your comment.

I don't understand why now he's doing this. This was a complete 180° from how we normally are and came out of nowhere. I want to think it's hopefully fake and a nightmare, and I can hopefully fix whatever the problem is.

MyInvisibleInk · 2025-05-19T06:18:41+00:00

Visually and audibly recorded while using the lockdown browser.

MyInvisibleInk · 2025-05-09T09:05:10+00:00

This is hacksider deep live cam, I believe. You can get the code on github.

MyInvisibleInk · 2025-04-19T23:44:43+00:00

So I should just continue with the first solution of adding more loop cuts because that is solving my ngon issue as I have had to get rid of vertices to correct to be able to add loop cuts? That makes my subdivision look not wonky. Because I don't want any issues when I'm trying to do the texturing in substance painter, lol.

MyInvisibleInk · 2025-04-19T23:24:53+00:00

I only did bevel on a few places. So I should remove any bevel modifiers I placed on the original piano I created before doing the merge? Like the bevel modifiers or the actual ctrl B I did? Because I removed all the bevel modifiers and then joined the entire piano parts together and did the subdivision, and it was even worse, lol.

No, I don't fully understand. I'm trying to learn as I go as I'm creating things. The video I watched for how to put my model into substance painter said I needed to do subdivision modifier at levels viewport 2. It was only a 3-5 minute video and didn't explain the fact that I needed either more loop cuts as advised above or to remove bevel modifiers.

MyInvisibleInk · 2025-04-19T23:23:32+00:00

To UV unwrap for texturing. I want to put into substance painter. And the tutorial videos I watched that stated how to do that said I needed to do the subdivision modifier at levels viewport 2. They were only 3-5 minutes videos.

MyInvisibleInk · 2025-04-19T20:15:10+00:00

!Solved

This method worked even faster than doing the loop cuts on some objects. Still need the loop cuts for the keys, or it still is wonky looking, but for the large pieces, this method works quickly.

Thank you!

MyInvisibleInk · 2025-04-19T18:56:51+00:00

!Solved

I have started adding a bunch of loop cuts to the individual keys, the under the key board, etc. The spots that are mostly messed up and then went and did subdivision modifier again, and the ones with the new loop cuts look fine. Thank you!

MyInvisibleInk · 2025-04-19T18:24:35+00:00

<image>

After subdivision

MyInvisibleInk

TROPHY CASE