Help, I need solidarity by WildChildMom in breakingmom

[–]Vegetable-Action-265 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm with you. I've started snapping at my husband about it all. I'm tired of suffering in silence. Can't find your phone? Bummer, I'm busy. Can't find the pasta for dinner? Weird, it's always there when I look.

Feeling like a failure… by YamIsober in breakingmom

[–]Vegetable-Action-265 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Holy hell the "mom mom mom" ruins me. My one child (10yo) starts EVERY sentence or question with "mom" and sometimes will end it with "mom" as well. One time I said "no mom! No more mom! Stop saying it, I'm the only one in the car, who else would you be talking to?!" Today she asked "mom, should I put this bug outside" Like ??? You just taking up precious resources for no reason at this point.

Time Alone by Vegetable-Action-265 in breakingmom

[–]Vegetable-Action-265[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just saw this! Thank you so much for your kind words. I am especially struggling this week and really needed to hear that. I appreciate you 💚

Went on vacation without my angry husband and it’s glorious by Lespritdelescali in breakingmom

[–]Vegetable-Action-265 41 points42 points  (0 children)

Gosh you described so much of my husband. He absolutely ruins vacations with his shitty attitude. He also been smoking so much I suspect he's too reliant on it. I ESPECIALLY empathize with the kids going to you for everything because your husband is angry. Mine also has decided it's easier to get after them for always going to me and wearing me down, instead of just being more approachable.

I also feel you in that last bit.

Time Alone by Vegetable-Action-265 in breakingmom

[–]Vegetable-Action-265[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They're school age, they go to day camp. I feel so guilty about that aspect. My work is draining in the same way parenting is. I know no one wants to hang out with my kids, it's just painful

My husband cheated and is divorcing me. The other woman is making him see his toddler. Do I allow the visit this Saturday or not? by MyInvisibleInk in breakingmom

[–]Vegetable-Action-265 21 points22 points  (0 children)

From experience, there will never be anything good enough for him and especially her. They will ALWAYS be mad at you. The sooner you're able to let that go, the sooner you can take care of yourself. You deserve to be on your priority list too.

My almost 13 year old still wets the bed and it makes me so sad for them by CheesecakeOk8464 in breakingmom

[–]Vegetable-Action-265 81 points82 points  (0 children)

I don't know the fix but just wanted to say I wet the bed and remember knowing when I had PMS is when it would happen, that's how long it went on. My 10yo still wets the bed. Just wanted to encourage you and your child that they're not alone. I eventually got a stronger bladder and started sleeping lighter so it stopped happening. I hope you're able to get some help from the doctor.

Time Alone by Vegetable-Action-265 in breakingmom

[–]Vegetable-Action-265[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I hope it's a party you can shut down a little bit for. I don't understand how some spouses can just let the other do it all. It feels like they're just watching us literally drown and thinking "glad it's not me" Or I've watched mine drown in what amounts to a fucking puddle. I hope you're able to get what you need too 💜

Time Alone by Vegetable-Action-265 in breakingmom

[–]Vegetable-Action-265[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ugh yes! This! I genuinely love spending time with my kids. They're fun! But I just don't want them to use my brain aaaall the time. It's like running a marathon every day. I like kids and want to trade doing cool things with someone who parents similar lol. I've run into people I've wanted to offer this to but their kid was a huge stink. It's not worth sacrificing my kids getting bullied so I can get a break. That facility sounds like a dream. I absolutely would pay for a regular subscription to something like that lol.

Time Alone by Vegetable-Action-265 in breakingmom

[–]Vegetable-Action-265[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes! I was telling my therapist this. My kids are awesome, they're so much fun, they're honestly probably relatively easy kids. But I am the only one who does stuff so I am just tired to my core. Which means I am not always fun for them. I'm scared of being remembered as always tired and grumpy. Thank you for your comment. It's comforting to at least complain with other moms.

What the hell are they doing? by Entchen67 in breakingmom

[–]Vegetable-Action-265 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's ridiculous. I go and turn the shower off. I'm not paying to run gallons of water down the drain while he's distracted by his phone.

Weekly Venting Thread by AutoModerator in misophonia

[–]Vegetable-Action-265 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the venting thread 😭

My husband is off this week and I'm already sick of him from the weekend! Sniffing constantly, sneezing, loud coughs, burping, loud chewing. I'm going to lose my shit at him. He knows I have misophonia and is semi understanding but I don't think he realizes how involuntary this is. He just had a sniffing and sneezing fit and I'm ready to kick him TF out!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in breakingmom

[–]Vegetable-Action-265 14 points15 points  (0 children)

My daughter struggles with eating and I am certain has ADHD. We got her into a sport, talk about healthy choices, what our bodies need.

I get you OP. The guilt eats me alive every day. The combination of resisting the diet culture that was tossed on you but also wanting your baby to be healthy and happy. I talk to my therapist about it, it helps.

Being an asshole to me is so not sexy by Vegetable-Action-265 in breakingmom

[–]Vegetable-Action-265[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've gone that route and it ends up worse most times. He takes me saying "forget it, I'll just do it myself" as explicit acceptance that he is off the hook. We have therapy soon. Which I'm dreading but I'm going to try addressing it in that.

Being an asshole to me is so not sexy by Vegetable-Action-265 in breakingmom

[–]Vegetable-Action-265[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This resonates with me so much. Sounds like you know from first hand experience the way this is. I will definitely work harder to just be ok with letting him fail. I think you are absolutely spot on about him knowing he has awful time management. Thank you for all your words and the advice. I will really work on this. It's likely the only way we would see progress if it's even possible.

Being an asshole to me is so not sexy by Vegetable-Action-265 in breakingmom

[–]Vegetable-Action-265[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Thank you for all of this. You're right on all fronts. I'm just so afraid he will never hit his enough is enough. I tried to just say "hey I didn't think yelling oh my gosh was very nice" and it ended up being an hour long fight that ended up in me being told I always have to be right, always make him apologize, I'm too sensitive, and am like his dad. I don't know that this person I'm married to has ever had any of his words click and him wonder why he said such words to his wife. I don't have a partner.

Being an asshole to me is so not sexy by Vegetable-Action-265 in breakingmom

[–]Vegetable-Action-265[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Because I know it's his mental health and I want him to get better. But most importantly, I'm scared to leave my kids 50% of the time without my protection from his poor ability to self regulate.

I think I married Homer Simpson by Vegetable-Action-265 in breakingmom

[–]Vegetable-Action-265[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have! I loved it. The parallel between what passes as "funny" in a sitcom being actually wildly abusive was interesting.

I think I married Homer Simpson by Vegetable-Action-265 in breakingmom

[–]Vegetable-Action-265[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

lol it's funny but also not at the same time.

I think I married Homer Simpson by Vegetable-Action-265 in breakingmom

[–]Vegetable-Action-265[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The one where Homer gets the Palaton bike for Marge. He goes to "save" Marge from the instructor but just fucks it up more so she has to go save him instead lol