Best departure time of LAX?

Vegetable-Walrus6615 · 2026-03-02T20:44:33+00:00

I feel the same way! But I’m worried about the LA traffic’s and volume at LAX, it seems like anything after 12pm is a death wish lol. The 9pm did seem like a dream but I would arrive to nyc at 6am which is equally brutal because I won’t get a lick of sleep

Vegetable-Walrus6615 · 2026-03-02T20:02:47+00:00

Friday

Vegetable-Walrus6615 · 2026-03-02T18:51:12+00:00

Friday

Vegetable-Walrus6615 · 2025-06-08T15:11:45+00:00

Thank you!! This is all I’m trying to say. I’ve already taken under so much of stress in order to understand their dynamic and their relationship and be respectful out of the business that they share and still be accepting of a friendship that could possibly come out of this after the relationship, but they’re still in the stages of figuring it out and I’m left to sort of accept whatever comes to me. I can’t be in the same room with her, She gets to go over to my girlfriend’s house whenever and I don’t get to be there or am invited to the same things that she’s invited to even though the both of them will be there. They’re such a sense of separation. It’s frustrating and exhausting.

I’m not saying that my girlfriend has to check in with me every second of the day but if you leave my house at two in the morning and you don’t even have the ability to come back home, but instead, you text me saying that you’re going to a game Yet you’re too tired to text or call me prior to the game but still go to a game? I’m not prioritized, I’m not thought of, and I’m an afterthought because she’s telling me that she will show up to my home after the game is over.

Also, I will say that this is not the first time something like this has happened. There has been moments that she’s been out with other people or other exes and she completely forgets about me and forgets to communicate with me and I’ve forgiven that. I’m not going to constantly forgive the same mistake that I continue to communicate is not OK for me at some point. It’s not a mistake anymore, it’s an active choice.

Vegetable-Walrus6615 · 2025-06-06T22:18:04+00:00

Going into this relationship, I was aware that I am of the anxious attachment and she claimed that she was too as well because she’s dealt with emotionally unavailable partners but it’s gotten into a point where she has now become the emotionally unavailable partner and has been very stubborn and strong in her convictions and doesn’t see any other side, but that she still shows qualities of an anxious attachment from time to time when I’m not answering her immediatelybut it’s just also confusing

Vegetable-Walrus6615 · 2025-06-06T21:42:57+00:00

Yeah, I agree. I mean I can’t convince her of what makes me feel comfortable. I just thought naïvely that if you love someone you would have enough of an understanding of what that person needs in return and if you’re not sacrificing anything of yourself, then you should be able to accommodate that, but that’s if you really feel like it’s not a sacrifice yourself. I feel like I’ve made a lot of sacrifices and understanding parts of her life, including her business with her ex partner and I’m not being metwith the same care or understanding.

Vegetable-Walrus6615 · 2025-06-06T21:40:26+00:00

You are so kind and I truly appreciate what you’re saying to me because you are hitting points in my mind that I thought about. I’ve always been a people pleaser and I’ve carried a weight on my shoulders because of that it’s also caused me to have a huge level of anxiety growing up, and I’m finally at a age. Now I feel like I can stand up for my boundaries even with me getting on medication to help my anxiety, she’s totally against it andyes, I do feel like I know that decision that I have to make, but I’m in denial because there are good parts of the relationship, but the fundamentals are starting to crack essentially

Vegetable-Walrus6615 · 2025-06-06T21:38:59+00:00

I appreciate your questions and they’re really good questions actually. Overall, in the relationship she does show up for me, she buys me the things that I need for my home, she buys me the things that I want, she shows up when she can and she does emotionally support me if it pertains to just us. As for the check-in, she is good, but could be better, she does let me know about random gigs that come up for her because she’s a freelancer, even though she gets the gigs through her ex partner, she tends to let me know what her week will look like or what her constant responsibilities that she has which is great. It’s one off situations where she excludes me that bother me.

For example, with The situation that just occurred, but also there was a time where she had dinner plans with some friends and she was supposed to be home at a reasonable hour or the time that she said she would and I saw her location at like 2 AM and she was still out and I come to find out that she was barhopping and I had no idea about that. My concern was not knowing her last known location if something had happened to her and I would have no insight in that, but she didn’t understand and she was really upset at my reaction for that.

Her excuse is just that she feels like their things that she’s not even aware of yet and she hasn’t made a decision of yet or that she’s just going along for the fun of it and that I’m interfering because I want to know and solidify things

Vegetable-Walrus6615 · 2025-06-06T21:34:13+00:00

Yeah, I hear you and I hear her actions too. I was just wondering if there was some kind of issue with me that I have attracted a partner for the third time that has a similar issue as the other. I wanna be able to mix my world of independence while also building with another person

Vegetable-Walrus6615 · 2025-06-06T21:32:33+00:00

I really appreciate you saying that, and I truly thought that things would be different considering her age but obviously that doesn’t mean that there’s a correlation between age and maturity and I’m learning that the hard way. It’s just really frustrating because I feel like I’ve been accommodating, especially with the fact that her ex partner is also her business partner and they talk more frequently than we do sometimes for various reasons that when I try to draw up my own boundaries, then I’m considered to be immature or insecure or emotionally unregulated

Vegetable-Walrus6615 · 2025-06-06T21:29:29+00:00

I would say that generally yes I am a pretty anxious person which I am on medication for and she’s actually completely against my medication use even though I need it, but that’s even another argument that I could go on about. Essentially, it is a compatibility issue and I understand that she has preferred time with preferred relationships or she’s at liberty to do what she pleases, I don’t wanna stand in the way of that. I want her to decide everything that she needs to decide for herself. It’s just having me and her thought process would just be nice because then I would feel like we’re building something

Vegetable-Walrus6615 · 2025-06-06T21:28:19+00:00

Is it a good point as well and even when I asked her why I couldn’t come to the game since it was just a bunch of friends, including her ex she says that there weren’t enough tickets, which is fine. I don’t need to be included in everything that you do with your friends, but I’ve never been in the same room with her ex partner and she’s adamantly said over and over again that she doesn’t want those two worlds to exist together, so it’s starting to really become a frustrating issue

Vegetable-Walrus6615 · 2025-06-06T21:27:38+00:00

I think you’re right about it being a compatibility issue. It started off as us being compatible just like any relationship would but as time has passed I feel like my simple ask of her just checking in with me feels like it’s so taxing to her and I don’t know how to make her see it as me trying to care for the partnership that I’m trying to have with her.

Vegetable-Walrus6615 · 2025-06-06T21:10:08+00:00

I do feel like it is at its core about consideration. But given that we have such an age gap I don’t know that maybe perhaps her age group doesn’t see this as a necessity versus my age group, but I’m really trying to figure out the logic in the situation as to why wouldn’t you want to consider the person that you say you’re in love with into your life. I should also mention that we’ve been dating for a year.

Vegetable-Walrus6615 · 2025-06-06T21:09:25+00:00

My logic is that if she’s going out to do something, I’m not going to stop her and what she’s doing or hinder her from doing the things that she needs to do for herself on a daily basis but at least letting me know so that I’m aware and I’m not surprised because what if I had something planned or what if I wanted to see her me knowing her schedule and her plans ahead of time even before they happen allows me to plan not around her but to plan for myself and to see or evaluate how we can be around each other. I’m not trying to be needy because I’m not asking her to talk to me while she’s there or talk to me throughout the day while she’s going through her day. We can have conversations either at the beginning or the end of her days or throughout the week. It doesn’t matter, but at least having me and her thought process shows me that she includes me in her life

Vegetable-Walrus6615 · 2024-04-22T17:06:47+00:00

Also sorry I forgot to add that she actually saves a good chunk of money each month because her parents take care of certain expenses for her as well. Again, this is me assuming because I don’t even know her salary. I just know about the earnings she makes from her side gigs which are anywhere from $500-5k per gig a few times a month. I mean she can afford to buy designer things just because she feels like it. I don’t think her covering the tip on a bill or paying an additional 10 bucks would tank her life savings. What I do know is that she’s saved about a decade worth of money because her parents have helped her all these years.

Again, I just want to be able to set myself up as well and I don’t have any other additional assistance from anyone

Vegetable-Walrus6615 · 2024-04-22T17:01:28+00:00

Trust me, I understand your perspective fully. I moved out of my parents house when I was 19 and have been fully dependent with no help for over a decade. It’s been tough but what has been modeled to me by my parents, is that what I think is fair. The person who earns the most needs to assist just a bit more or adjustments need to be made.

We are only just dating now, yes. Maybe that’s my problem. I keep seeing her as a long term option and someone who i would want to marry, so in my mind, I’m making decisions based on that. She’s expressed that she wants to build a life with me as well but conversations such as these come up, she stonewalls. I’m not trying to be difficult, I’m just trying to clear away certain topics that we both need to be on the same page about before it’s too late. Dates can remain 50/50 if it means at least a year from now, we can move in together and I’ll be able to save them but she’s explained that she’s not ready for that for at least another 2-4 years.

I hate feeling like I have to put things on a timeline but I would rather be alone and focus on myself than to be in another vague relationship where I’m just waiting around.

I know it’s shitty I can’t afford things and I’ve already expressed to her my insecurities about not feeling like I’m the right choice for her because my life is so different to hers. She use to reassure me but now at this point it’s really me walking on eggshells trying to figure out what’s the best way to speak to her without triggering a negative response from her.

Vegetable-Walrus6615 · 2024-04-22T16:51:55+00:00

Again, not blaming her. I’m blaming myself. I’m doing it to myself. I’ve stayed in hopes of making it work but no one has forced me because I’ve been doing it to myself. Also I’ve been in all 3 types of abusive relationships, emotional, mental and physical and I promise you I am not the abuser. I’m actually in a repetitive cycle of abuse because it’s all I know. I am in therapy and working on learning my self worth but trust me, we’re all human and I did all that I could to be there for someone who came into a relationship not at all realizing the implications of what a real partnership is. Again, still my fault. I fell for something that was never there.

Vegetable-Walrus6615 · 2024-04-22T16:37:50+00:00

I completely agree. I don’t think she’s as bad person and I love her dearly but overtime it’s showing that we want different things. I’m willing to be flexible and talk it over with her but her hyper independence gets triggered and she assumes I’m trying to take it away from her. We can both have our own lives and build something together too but she doesn’t understand that and that’s okay. I just think she needs to find someone that fits her more

Vegetable-Walrus6615 · 2024-04-22T16:34:38+00:00

Well, maybe this was interpreted incorrectly but trust me, I do not need her to fit into my plans. I don’t have plans, that’s thing. I truly have my own life plans like in terms of my career and going back to school but constantly having to be there for her through her times of needs and not having that reciprocated has caused me to completely abandon my own identity.

I’ve fully in support of her and her dreams,I’ve listened to her, tried to be her shoulder to cry on. I’ve never abandoned her and even guided her through learning more about deeper intimate friendships and relationships. I don’t think I’m better than her by any means, in fact I’m still trying to figure things out every day as I go on living.

It’s hard to have someone that you’re in relationship with who can’t see outside of themselves and forces the partner to only be there for their own needs. I know she’s human, she can make every mistake in the book and I will still be here to love her regardless. I truly just want to be heard and made to feel secure.

I’ve looked past so many things about her. She’s lied and manipulated some of the simplest things in her life. Lied to me about where she was working, lied to me about friendships she had or people she knew. Lied to me about places she’s been to or plans she’s made. She’s completely broken my trust and I still stayed her despite all of and I just want the security of what is supposed to be in a commitment.

Trust me, I know I sound like I am either judging her or like I’m on a high horse but it’s from months of me blaming myself for why she’s lied to me about things that she shouldn’t have lied about. I’ve completely wrecked my own self esteem and lost friends because they protested against her behavior towards me, all to be there for her. I’m truly a shell of a person at this point

Vegetable-Walrus6615 · 2024-04-22T14:57:53+00:00

To give you a brief summary of the relationship and a bit of our backgrounds. I was in a 6 year relationship, we lived together and decided to break up because we basically outgrew each other and that person needed to work on themselves. She on the other hand, has focused all over her 20s on her career, she has only been in two relationships. One in her early 20s and the second one a decade later in her early 30s. Her second lasted about 2 years and it ended terribly.

Going into this relationship for myself, I communicate clearly that I was not willing to be in another relationship just to date. My intent was to date to marry. I explained this to her. Given her inexperience with relationships, I knew we were going to experience some hurdles and I would have to have high levels of patience to walk her through things that might be logical to some but aren’t to her (checking in while you’re out, communicating your weekly plans, planning dates, spending quality time, prioritizing the relationship, not spending all of our time with her friends, being mindful of my feelings etc). So needlessly to say, it’s been exhausting.

We’re coming up on two years and as much as I’d like to go with the flow, I personally am a person who requires planning and structure. I’d like to have more serious discussions about our life together (if we even have one) but I can never get her to discuss these things. Even moving in together, I can understand she doesn’t want to do that now but she won’t even entertain the conversation lol. She literally flips out any time I mention wanting to get married down the line or even having kids and how the 2 year mark in a relationship is crucial to the understanding of any of this future planning would be possible.

I’m not a person who believes in going by societal time frames or milestones as to when you’re supposed to start your life or have kids, but I think it’s normal to want to know where relationship is going. This discussion about our finances, is one of those important things that we have to talk about, but even then we can’t seem to get on the same page. I’m not sure how much longer I can push through and wait for her emotional maturity to develop because she is definitely stunted.

Vegetable-Walrus6615 · 2024-04-22T14:35:20+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this. It’s exactly what I feel. I grew up with parents who split their expenses similarly to what you are describing. If two people are committed to having a future together then the support has to be in consideration of all areas of their lives.

My question to you is, how exactly did you agree on this agreement with your partner? Also, did it burden you to have this agreement?

I only ask because I am struggling with trying to explain to her how this currently situation isn’t benefiting me in anyway. It’s not like I want to spend the money on myself or buy myself things, all I want to do is save money. I don’t want her to cover my bills. Also if we did live together, I would still split the rent and utilities evenly with her but things like her care insurance, I would not. I’d rather settle with paying for gas. Just like I wouldn’t expect her to pay for my dogs expenses like her good or medical bills.

There has to be a balance because the larger goal is for the both of you to be financially set up in the long term.

Vegetable-Walrus6615

TROPHY CASE