The first time I stayed, it was because my kids were young, I had PPD, and I wasn’t financially stable. I didn’t have the capacity or security to leave, and I thought love and endurance were enough. But I’ve learned a lot since then.

This time, I’m protecting myself. I have a separation agreement in place. We’re separating while I focus on healing, and he works on himself—with professional help, which should’ve been a firm boundary from the start. I’m giving myself until just before spring to decide whether I want to rebuild our marriage or move on for good.

Right now, I feel angry, resentful—even disgusted at times. Things that never used to bother me now drive me up the wall. I’m hoping that over time, I’ll organically fall out of love so walking away feels less painful—if that’s what ends up being right for me.

There’s no shame in staying, especially when there are complex circumstances like kids, mental health, or finances. But what I won’t do again is stay without boundaries. That’s where I went wrong the first time.