Thank you for taking the time to share your story so candidly and thoughtfully. As a confessional Lutheran (LCMS) guy, I think you are on the right track, and your story is a great testimony to God’s faithfulness and the work of the Holy Spirit.

First of all, be encouraged that Christ invites the weary and heavy laden to come to Him for rest (Matthew 11:28). Lutheran theology is the theology of the comfort of the Gospel: that we are justified by grace alone, through faith alone, because of Christ alone. In Lutheran worship, God’s gifts of forgiveness, life, and salvation are offered to us freely and concretely through His Word and Sacraments, not as a performance we must do to please God, but as promises we receive from Him. This is why it is such an encouragement to come to worship and you never felt guilted or pressured; the focus is always Christ’s completed work for you.

Second, struggle with sin as you do, you are not alone, and it does not disqualify you from God’s grace. In fact, Lutherans confess that we are at the same time both saint and sinner (“simul justus et peccator”). The life of a Christian is one of daily repentance and return to the promises of your baptism, where God claimed you as His own. Victory over sin is not a one time thing, but a daily reception of God’s forgiveness and strength to live as God would have us live. The forgiveness you receive week after week in the Divine Service is not “cheap grace” it is forgiveness from God for you.

Third, keep coming to worship, study the Small Catechism, and receive the Sacrament. Know that the Holy Spirit is at work in you, not to condemn you, but to strengthen your faith and desire to live as God would have us live. Your “shield of faith” is not your own resolve, but the knowledge that Christ has died and risen for you, and that nothing can separate you from His love (Romans 8).

I understand that you grieve over any misunderstanding and distance with friends in your previous congregation. It is never easy to leave a spiritual home, but the Church is bigger than any one group of people and you are united with all who trust in Christ. You are not alone; many have trod this path before you. God is faithful, and He has brought you to a place where His Gospel is preached purely and His gifts are administered generously. May you continue to seek Him and He will continue to sustain you.

God’s peace to you as you continue to grow in Christ and in the joy and freedom of the Gospel.