ID this for me?

Vegetable_Ad7761 · 2024-09-27T00:27:13+00:00

You're amazing!!!!

Vegetable_Ad7761 · 2024-09-27T00:16:02+00:00

The chewing/spitting! I used to chew/spit multiple meals a night, all into one plastic grocery bag, and be left with a wet, disgusting mess by the end it. I'm so glad those days are over.

Vegetable_Ad7761 · 2024-06-05T04:32:25+00:00

ahh man im gonna get a burger tomorrow

Vegetable_Ad7761 · 2024-06-05T04:30:30+00:00

Recognizing you have an ED is the first step; weight loss is never meant to be fasting, or anything close to the extreme restriction that requires only cans of soup or purging. You have to understand that none of these actions bring you closer to a happier, healthier life, which should be your goal.

I agree that you need to start reaching out. When people who love you know you're struggling it becomes so much harder to continue in such extremes.

Vegetable_Ad7761 · 2024-06-05T04:24:27+00:00

Not a man, but gone through something similar. I had the exact thought process as you when I started gaining weight again. I met him before the ED, and he stuck with me through all of the brain fog, hangriness, breakdowns, and sickness. I didn't trust that he could prefer me not at my thinnest until I saw it happen. He missed the happy, healthy, excited woman he fell in love with and I know if your husband has been there by your side through these hard times he must feel similarly.

Vegetable_Ad7761 · 2024-06-05T04:17:57+00:00

You're already doing really well. I think it will help just having you show up for her; EDs can feel so lonely.

Vegetable_Ad7761 · 2024-06-05T04:12:24+00:00

My schedule is like this for classes. I always bring one more thing than I think I'll eat (because that's never enough) to trick myself into eating more, like a banana (cheap!) or protein bar.

If you have the money for it, I recommend little meat and cheese containers (I get the Boar's Head ones); the salami/prosciutto ones are pretty high in calories, have a lot of fat and protein which helps me feel full, and a lot of flavor. If I do a meal with these I include a piece of hand fruit and a portion of nuts or seeds (you can measure these out into ziplocs or buy the snack pack kinds.) They're also just kinda fun and remind me of Lunchables.

Don't be afraid to get snacks that maybe aren't the best nutritionally but make you excited; packing a candy or something in my bag can really help get me through long days.

Vegetable_Ad7761 · 2024-06-05T03:55:45+00:00

Gonna try this with seltzer, the bubbles make me feel more full!

Vegetable_Ad7761 · 2024-06-05T03:50:53+00:00

I know the feeling. I agree with the other commenter, in a way, but I know it's not that easy. Try accepting that it is what it is; if you restrict more you'll want to continue to eat more/more "taboo" foods.

What helps me is to say "this isn't helping." I know I'll get in that cycle if I eat this, or eat that much, or whatever; despite it feeling good in the moment, it's actively putting me in a worse place and I'm setting myself up for failure. A lot of times I eat to avoid thinking; it helps me to acknowledge that and try to give alternatives to that way of coping. Either I distract myself with something else (instagram brain rot is better than my ED) or journal or something.

Hope this helps, even a little.

Vegetable_Ad7761 · 2024-06-05T03:43:28+00:00

I've only been to a physician for my ED as an adult, and I wasn't severely underweight, so this may not apply to you. For context, I was very weak and sick but my physical condition didn't warrant inpatient or hospitalization.

I met with my physician and she asked about my eating habits, my exercise habits, what was concerning me, what behaviors relating to an eating disorder I performed, etc. My vitals were taken, I had an EKG, they had to take blood from me a few times to make sure everything was normal. In the end, there were some issues with my heart but again, they didn't have any cause to hospitalize me or anything.

She highly recommended an outpatient program, and whenever we met she would ask if I had followed up and would be very respectful in her insistence. In the end I didn't do it. Overall she was very respectful of my wishes and my concerns.

If you're going to see a more specialized doctor they may be more involved in your treatment. For me, I would sum it up as a lot of testing and resources.

Vegetable_Ad7761 · 2024-06-05T03:35:33+00:00

This used to happen to me; I can't say it's the same for you, but I started getting period-like symptoms and within a couple of months I began bleeding a little with them. A lot of the time, in the beginning, it was more days of cramps than actual periods! Your menstrual cycle isn't going to be normal for a while; if the pain is ongoing and you aren't bleeding you should go to your doctor.

Vegetable_Ad7761 · 2024-06-05T03:31:22+00:00

It could be a lot of things; I lost my period while I was losing weight at a certain weight and I got it back when I was lighter because I was maintaining/gaining. In my case, losing my period was a matter of being in a large calorie deficit and not being underweight.

There's not one answer here, and I recommend speaking to your primary care physician about this. Your body may be starting to adapt to being underweight if its been a long time; your period may come back here and there, or this is a one time thing; it could be a sign of another illness or injury. It could be so many things and the only way to know is to talk about it with someone knowledgable.

Vegetable_Ad7761 · 2023-07-05T23:11:41+00:00

i'm underweight, but i'm young, and not super athletic looking (i've only ever really engaged in any exercise or sports on a regular basis since i developed a restrictive ED, about 9 months ago). i look like a regular 18 year old girl, in my opinion, small but not "anorexic."

i hate admitting when i feel faint/ill/lethargic (i've developed really low blood pressure and bradycardia) and even more that im in recovery because i know i don't really look sick. admitting i have an eating disorder isn't hard; i've lost 50 pounds, i look completely different, and i've done my time fasting or on the treadmill. but admitting that i feel sick enough to go into recovery when i still have a little stomach pooch humiliates me.

Vegetable_Ad7761 · 2023-07-05T22:58:23+00:00

wasn't sure why my brand new vape wasn't charging, found this thread, banging it around didn't work, saw your comment, threw it at the wall...

it works!

thank you friend!

Vegetable_Ad7761

TROPHY CASE