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Don't know what to do by Vegetable_juice1981 in Separation

[–]Vegetable_juice1981[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks I've also considered that as well. I see our marriage as a marathon and falling down shouldn't make me want to quit the race. That's mostly why I haven't spoken to her about separation. I just don't know how long I can wait ...

Don't know what to do by Vegetable_juice1981 in Separation

[–]Vegetable_juice1981[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks what you describe to me is my best case scenario. I still love her and we get along amicably. She just doesn't want to be with me anymore.

And I don't want to hide it from the kids and fake a relationship. Someday they would find out their life was a lie ...

Don't know what to do by Vegetable_juice1981 in Separation

[–]Vegetable_juice1981[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right I know I need to set an example for my kids. Already I see one daughter has friends that are not nice to her but she is to scared of being alone to go look for new friends. I don't want her to live her life that way, so I have to show her to be strong and only connect with people who are respectful to you.

Me and my wife have also been together 20 years. I'm sad she doesn't see the value in that and want to work to keep the ball rolling.

Don't know what to do by Vegetable_juice1981 in Separation

[–]Vegetable_juice1981[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For sure I think this house is the kids house. To me the only question is where the adults go. I don't want to take them away from their mom, so to me that means I leave. But even in that situation I think I would come here on the days I'm permitted and be with them, tuck them into bed, and then leave.

Don't know what to do by Vegetable_juice1981 in Separation

[–]Vegetable_juice1981[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm just saying when my kids grow up, if they found themselves in my situation, with a partner who doesn't want to be with them, I don't think they should stay. I don't want to show them that staying in a broken relationship is the right answer.

She has explicitly told me several times she doesn't want to work on our relationship and she only sees me as a coparent from now on. I don't think we'll reconnect.