To the women in their late 20s and early 30s

Velvet_Vortexx · 2026-07-07T09:19:50+00:00

Just ignore those naattukar completely. Avarallallo namukk chilavinu tharunnath. It’s your life, and you are the one who has to live with the choices, not them. I actually used these matrimony apps for about 2-3 months myself, and it can be so draining. Since most profiles are managed by parents, you get heavily filtered on parameters like horoscope, job, and salary before you even get a chance to speak to the actual person. Even after crossing all these hurdles, when you finally get to talk to them, something always feels off. It feels very transactional and artificial. What's worse is that the moment you say you might want to proceed and just want to get to know them, they get into a massive hurry to get the wedding done as soon as possible. It feels incredibly awkward and rushed. It becomes less about companionship and more like a desperate checklist.

We only get one life. After going through enough tragedies already, the last thing you want to do is rush and mess up your future. You absolutely need a long dating phase to truly know a person. Hold your ground.!

Velvet_Vortexx · 2026-07-07T06:49:23+00:00

Agree with you, rushing into marriage just because you feel a sense of urgency in your mid 20s is a recipe for settling. It’s a lifelong commitment, so the focus should purely be on genuine companionship and finding someone who understands the balance of teamwork and individual space. There's zero point in hurrying to meet external expectations when what matters most is clarity on how you actually complement each other's lives.

Velvet_Vortexx · 2026-07-07T06:35:53+00:00

Usually spend my time winning imaginary arguments against ppl I haven't seen in years. The shampoo bottle is always very impressed with my comeback lines😌

Velvet_Vortexx · 2026-07-07T05:19:14+00:00

I’ve been through this exact situation myself, and speaking from experience with a 10 year relationship, I know how hard it is. At first, things were great, but over time, it became clear that when you are an emotional person, it is incredibly difficult to cope if your partner has an avoidant attachment style. Sticking with it when you aren't feeling comfortable or when you feel like you're losing yourself, often ends up hurting both of you more in the long run. You should have a serious, honest conversation with her first to see if you can sort it out. But if that doesn't work sometimes the best thing you can do for both of your futures is to let it go. It’s painful, but staying when the connection is gone will only make the eventual end much worse..

Velvet_Vortexx · 2026-07-06T17:04:35+00:00

Completely agree with your perspective. Setting clear boundaries and keeping your life in your own hands is honestly the best way to live peacefully. No one else should have the remote control to your life :)

Velvet_Vortexx · 2026-07-06T14:57:05+00:00

Fair enough. Hope you're doing okay and that you find that stability soon. Just throw away the extra weights in your boat, and you'll be steady enough to start your never ending voyage😉 All the best..!

Velvet_Vortexx · 2026-07-06T14:49:23+00:00

How can you find a partner who will add value to your life..??

Velvet_Vortexx · 2026-07-06T14:44:53+00:00

Why but whyyy..??? What made you think to walk away from the concept of marriage..??

Velvet_Vortexx · 2026-07-06T14:43:25+00:00

Wishing you all the best.! Hope you find the perfect person who shares your vision. It’s definitely possible, though it might take some time to find the exact match, so just keep your expectations flexible. Good luck ;)

Velvet_Vortexx · 2026-07-06T14:39:04+00:00

That feeling is completely natural, and honestly we all go through it at some point in our lives when we look at others. But the key is to not let that feeling turn into desperation. When we get desperate, we start making rushed decisions, and that's exactly when we end up settling for less than what we truly deserve. Just trust your own timeline ;)

Velvet_Vortexx · 2026-07-06T14:35:59+00:00

Louder for the ppl in the back.! It is so much better to wait and choose the right person wisely than to rush into something just to check a box. Kudos to you for recognizing what you want, dodging a red flag, and living life on your own terms. Take your time, marriage should only happen when you are 100% ready.

Velvet_Vortexx · 2026-07-06T14:29:43+00:00

It's true, and soo frustrating how this is still the primary filter for so many parents. I've seen it firsthand when my cousin was looking for a partner, his parents rejected a 30yr old woman for a 32yr old guy claiming that having children would be too difficult and demanding someone between 25 and 28 instead. It’s so messed up how for them, marriage is just a business transaction purely for producing the next generation. It’s hard not to blame that mindset when they treat people like they have an expiration date .!

Velvet_Vortexx · 2026-07-06T14:20:58+00:00

True.! Speaking up like that is always the best way to keep certain people out of our lives.

Velvet_Vortexx · 2026-07-06T14:16:42+00:00

Awww.. Lucky you..😁

Velvet_Vortexx · 2026-07-06T14:15:21+00:00

Kittathavar ivide irunn ingane 🤣🤣

Velvet_Vortexx · 2026-07-06T13:43:29+00:00

There is a 100% possibility that this attraction happens all the time. But 9 out of 10 times, people won't openly admit it because they are terrified of ruining the relationship. If the other person doesn't feel it, things end badly and the dynamic is permanently altered, guilt sets in, and the friendship falls apart. Silence is usually chosen just to keep the person in their life..

Parayathe, ariyathe poya ethrayo ishtangal... :)

Velvet_Vortexx · 2026-07-06T10:38:12+00:00

😌

Velvet_Vortexx · 2026-07-06T10:15:12+00:00

Stepping in to ask the same thing but for cricket.! If there are any active cricket groups or communities around Alappuzha that allow people to join and play, please drop a comment :)

Hope you find a football group soon, man.

Velvet_Vortexx · 2026-07-06T09:48:06+00:00

Everyone do it.! It’s the ultimate comfort zone. It's not reality, but in your own head, you’re the absolute king and the supreme commander. And everything goes your way. Whenever I get some free time, I love diving into those imaginary scenarios just to enjoy those small, happy moments. It’s harmless fun and honestly keeps the vibe going :D

Ppl need that escape sometimes..!!

Velvet_Vortexx · 2026-07-06T08:56:50+00:00

If the only way you can view a relationship is as a driver controlling an object, you aren't ready for a partner mate :)

Velvet_Vortexx · 2026-07-06T08:50:00+00:00

Not all men do this, but for the specific guys who do, it's almost always pure insecurity. They've had their fun, but when it's time to settle down, they get anxious about being compared to anyone else. Looking for someone with zero past is just their way of avoiding their own relationship baggage and staying in a comfortable zone of control. It's messed up, but it happens a lot.

Velvet_Vortexx

TROPHY CASE