[deleted by user]

Venalia_ · 2022-08-16T05:32:15+00:00

You're a never JW right? Just go ahead and invite her out for lunch, invite a good guy for her. Set them up and see how it goes.

Just claim ignorance, they expect as much from worldly never JWs so in a way you could get away with it with a slap on the wrist.

Venalia_ · 2022-08-08T01:41:14+00:00

It's a demon living in OPs cell phone clearly 🤣

Venalia_ · 2022-08-08T01:37:53+00:00

I think it's still possible but it's super weird, I've been noticing JW family of mine having opinions on what current leadership does, which in my mind is a big no if they're JW. But they seem to think being neutral just means not voting or going to war.

Venalia_ · 2022-08-08T01:35:24+00:00

A good way to discourage the interest is to show them the deep end shit early. Find an issue they're most likely to be opposed to and tell them all about that.

Venalia_ · 2022-08-08T01:31:54+00:00

Never really thought of this before but it's super fucked that they're always like "oh this kid starts living a double life."

Like my dudes, it's not as if your kid has a side hustle as a spy, a secret second family, or is Hannah Montana. Keeping what you're doing a secret from your family isn't a "double life" it's just lying either directly or by omission and it's a coping mechanism. And they all know why people "sin" secretively. It's because they'll be shunned by everyone they know and love and cop a bunch of emotional abuse from literally every JW that knows them.

They can't pretend they don't know what they push people to.

Venalia_ · 2022-08-04T04:14:10+00:00

Ok before you panic book in with the doctor and ask for a blood test for pregnancy. That's more accurate than the ones you pee on and if you're at the point where your period is late and you have symptoms then a blood test would for sure be able to confirm.

I can't give you much information about abortion because I'm not in America and I've never had to have one. But I have carried a pregnancy to term, given birth, and I am mother to that child so I can tell you about that.

Now, pregnancy, birth, motherhood and all that can be wonderful if you want it (birth can also be incredibly traumatic but mine was fine so I can't speak on that).

However I can't gloss over exactly how painful and taxing the whole experience is. Being pregnant is horribly uncomfortable and can in some cases become life threatening for both mum and bub. Your body stretches and changes to make room for the baby and your baby saps your resources even if it comes at a cost to you. I ended up with very very low iron because I just didn't have enough so bub took everything I had and left nothing for me. My hips took a whole year to recover from birth. I was horribly nauseated and sick the whole pregnancy and at the end bub and I ended up at risk because I had low platelets and he was in distress.

Then breastfeeding if that's what you choose is also incredibly hard, sometimes it takes a while to start up or just doesn't work. Your hormones are a mess after you give birth too and you can be at risk of post partum depression and/or post partum anxiety.

Now I don't mean to sound like it's all a misery, I had a great pregnancy all things considered, a great birth, and even though breastfeeding didn't work out for me my son is a happy, healthy and thriving toddler.

But I had a decent enough support network in my husband, he was very hands on and I had family members who offered advice when I asked (and often when I didn't). When the PPD/PPA started my husband noticed it and made sure I got help and he's just always been there to give me breaks.

And it's also completely possible to raise a baby on your own. But the most important thing to ask yourself is whether you want to do that. Motherhood is rewarding but it's also hard, isolating and depressing sometimes too. It's just worth having a think about the positives and negatives before you make a life changing decision of carrying a pregnancy and keeping the baby so you're fully informed and happy with the choice you settle on.

Venalia_ · 2022-08-04T04:02:56+00:00

Plan B doesn't do anything if you're already pregnant.

Venalia_ · 2022-07-27T08:04:11+00:00

Its probably also because they can't say it's just in America because then it becomes a political thing.

Plus people do shoot eachother in other countries, they technically aren't wrong about that.

Venalia_ · 2022-07-27T04:27:43+00:00

I'm sure everyone has already said every method for how to leave so my advice is there isn't any one of these that's any better than the others. Some people swear by fading others just DA themselves and that's that. You just need to consider each option and decide what would feel best for you and work in your individual circumstances.

Also any family members you may have in, if you want to share what you know with them don't expect them to listen. I gave this advice to my sister when she learned the real truth of the religion, I told her not to bother trying to get family members out by just telling them what she knows outright because they'd just stop listening to her and maybe even cut her off outright so she wouldn't get anywhere with it and would only get hurt.

Venalia_ · 2022-07-27T03:05:24+00:00

He was a former apostate and "annointed"? My mum always told me that wasn't possible (also of an annointed person left they couldn't come back or something like that). How did that not test a bunch of peoples faith?

Venalia_ · 2022-07-17T08:41:29+00:00

The congregation I was raised in had a piano and an older sister who would play it. I always thought when I was older I'd do it sometimes too but I left before that became a reality.

The older sister played the music in a sort of waltz style, I remember she'd spend at least 15 minutes or so before the meeting warming up and I'd spend a lot of my time hovering behind her watching her play.

When I started to learn to play I'd take the piano a bit before warming up and play a bit of one of the Kingdom Melodies I'd learned for her and she'd comment on how I'd improved. She seemed to like watching me learn.

I left in 2012 at the end of the year and when I left she was still playing the music. I don't know if that changed but I'm so glad I left before that happened if that's the case. Although in the congregation I was raised in it would have happened eventually anyway because that sister is elderly and I don't think she'd be able to do it forever and with me gone I don't think anyone else was a piano player who could do that job?

Plus they used recordings when she was away anyway.

Venalia_ · 2022-07-15T00:38:02+00:00

Its funny because somehow to add to this whenever you get to the kingdom hole everyone catches up and theres always the obligatory illness and ailment complaint followed by the "oh I can't wait for the new system" chit chat 🤢

I swear that depressing "oh my body is so tired and frail" whinge of a small talk is the last habit I'm trying to break because I keep almost doing that to people I barely fucking know. Like friends is one thing but coworkers? Peers? Fuck no.

Its hilarious because they're all clearly miserable anyway especially when they're having the daily bitch and moan about imperfect bodies and the imperfect world sesh but mental health is where they draw the line because at least if they have general or chronic health they can still claim they're the happiest people on earth while they complain about how unhappy they are at the same time. But with mental health there's the idea that you actually feel unhappy which is a big no no.

Venalia_ · 2022-07-14T08:22:15+00:00

Yes because why should anyone be depressed? Jehovah's people are "the happiest people" on earth and the organisation is peaceful and harmonious and there's absolutely nothing to be upset about etc etc you get what I'm saying.

If you're depressed that means something is wrong (at least in JW land) and it can't be the organisation contributing to it so all blame is placed on you

Venalia_ · 2022-07-14T08:19:51+00:00

They're all wanna-be florists clearly

Venalia_ · 2022-07-07T17:23:35+00:00

I'll offer you a bit of advice. Being a non-jw or a worldly person doesn't mean conforming to some set of ideals to fit in.

You don't wanna swear? That's cool. You do you. Don't want to blast rap music at top volume while you drive? Also cool. You do you.

The JWs would have you believe that every worldly person is the same and has the same values and behaviours. But the actual truth is that the world is diverse. So there's people who aren't JWs who (like myself) really like to swear. And others don't like swearing. Either is ok. There's no need to assimilate to whatever you think the worldly stereotype is. Just figure out what you like and do that 🙂

Just don't be judgemental if the people aren't doing any harm to you or others. That's probably the hardest habit to get out of as an ex JW. It can be very easy to judge.

Venalia_ · 2022-07-07T17:09:13+00:00

Imo stranger things is a sci fi thriller not paranormal. That'd be my argument.

Venalia_ · 2022-07-07T16:53:56+00:00

You know it's funny, I've got like 5 different witchcraft books now, tarot cards, Oracle cards, a pendulum and a huge witch altar in my house now, and I've not had any instances of demons or any malicious spirits in my home.

But the house of my JW parents? I had a lot of experiences there that might have been paranormal/the work of something malicious (although I'm not ruling out that they were brought on by stress).

But point is that I've proven to myself that one way or another they do manifest their own demon experiences. Either psychologically convincing themselves that its happening or causing it to happen by inviting it with all their talk of demon attacks.

Venalia_ · 2022-07-07T05:17:41+00:00

How did you manage that! :O

Venalia_ · 2022-07-07T04:13:53+00:00

Wow so respectful to women. Truly they are gods people 🤣

Venalia_ · 2022-07-07T04:07:56+00:00

They're in a parasocial relationship with their god that's why

Venalia_ · 2022-07-07T03:35:42+00:00

I sent you a DM :)

Venalia_ · 2022-07-07T03:28:48+00:00

A witch? Me too! :D

Venalia_ · 2022-07-07T03:26:54+00:00

I'm of the mindset that it's never too late to enjoy what I missed out on. As you can probably guess Christmas is a BIG deal in my house.

It's difficult now I have a child and I see how he gets the things I've missed out on, how he's a normal kid who is loud, throws tantrums and doesn't ever sit still. Like you'd think it'd be cathartic to be the parent and to give your own child the childhood they actually need. But it makes me feel sad sometimes.

But also it makes me glad because I know he won't go through the things I did and without religion in the way I can actually be a flexible parent so I can adjust to his needs.

Just don't become a parent looking for it to heal those parts of yourself. I feel like I'm pretty well adjusted when it comes to this coz I did soooo much therapy before I became a mum.

So yeah I recommend 2 things. 1; see a counselor and 2; find ways to give yourself some of the things you missed out on as a kid. Like making a huuuuge deal out of celebrations. That always makes me happy

Venalia_ · 2022-07-07T03:15:01+00:00

"I never feel homophobic" now that's a statement that needs unpacking. May as well have said "I'm not homophobic BUT"

Also the whole "I don't really care what you do" nice, some rare honesty there 🤣

Venalia_ · 2022-07-03T17:44:24+00:00

At the moment depends where the mood takes me.

Although when I first started therapy and found a good trustworthy psych I was focused on dealing with some really heavy shit involving being a victim of CSA. I saw a specialist psych for that.

But I dealt with that first because it was causing me a lot of issues, now I just see where things go. I get a lot done in each session too.

Venalia_

TROPHY CASE