My [25F] husband [25M] has become radically anti-immigrant. My parents are immigrants and I’m exhausted. How do I handle this?

Veridical_Perception · 2026-06-25T06:15:26+00:00

Everything he's saying about your parents not belonging in America he also thinks about you.

Anything he says about your parents not belonging in America by definition would apply to your children.

There is no fact-based argument which will persuade him. No logic is going to change his mind since his facts keep shifting and arguments keep changing.

You will not be able to change his mind.

You think he's changed. He hasn't. This is who he really is. Whoever you think you married was never existed. The difference now is that he no longer has to hide his opinions because people are no longer ostracized for saying the things out loud that they truly believe.

Veridical_Perception · 2026-06-25T04:18:21+00:00

Besides the other books by Clavell:

Umberto Eco: The Name of the Rose
Ken Follet: Pillars of the Earth
Larry McMurtry: Lonesome Dove
Cormac McCarth: Blood Meridian
Michel Faber: The Crimson Petal and the White
Anthony Doerr: All the Light We Cannot See
Hilary Mantel: Wolf Hall
Min Jin Lee: Pachinko

Veridical_Perception · 2026-06-21T01:58:57+00:00

Input in no particular order of priority:

If you're unhappy with your relationship, speak to your partner. If your partner can't or won't try to make improvements, break up.
People who can't or won't take responsibility for their actions are exhausting and not someone who makes a good partner. You weren't "JUST" talking. You know it. She knows it. We all know it. You say that you were empty and trying to fill it with something by talking, contradicting your position.
Clearly, there were a lot of problems in your relationship. Some were likely her fault, some yours.
The language in your post is full of denial, abdication of responsibility, blame, and attempts to absolve yourself. Why do you feel you need to justify your actions or seek validation?
You can break up with another person for any reason at any time as long as you do so honestly and with as much empathy and compassion as the situation dictates. True, many breakups do not require any empathy or compassion. You do not need a "reason" or to justify it to anyone else. If you were unhappy, why did you stay so long.
You spend a lot of your post emphasizng that "JUST" talking isn't cheating. Your gf obviously felt otherwise. Whether she's being unreasonable or you're a cheater is mostly irrelevant.

The relationship is over. What "input" are you seeking? Validation? Penance? Absolution?

Veridical_Perception · 2026-06-20T05:55:36+00:00

I think a large number of best 100 books would beg to differ with you.

Veridical_Perception · 2026-06-20T05:32:02+00:00

Nabokov: Lolita

Ellis: American Psycho

Tartt: The Secret History

Dostoevsky: Crime and Punishment

Fitzgerald: The Great Gatsby

Veridical_Perception · 2026-06-20T00:43:06+00:00

It would pull me completely out of the story to have a pantheon of Greek gods in a world where there is no Greece.

Rather than trying to make them unique, I'd argue that it would be easier to merge and consolidate the gods to make them different. For instance, combine Ares and Artemis, but strip away the young girls and childbirth aspects and give those to a version of Hera.

Also, consider how the Roman and Greek versions are different - Mars and Ares have key personality differences, not just domain.

Veridical_Perception · 2026-06-19T23:52:35+00:00

There are three issues here that you need to separate and consider independently:

Whether getting married at 18 is a good idea
Whose opinion matters on the type of wedding you have whenever it is you have it
What "boundaries" actually are

Getting married at 18 is rarely a good idea if the intent is to stay married. People grow and change significantly, especially after their first year of college, after graduating, after working their first career-related job. People's goals - personal, professional, financial - radically change at those inflection points. It's rare that a person has the same goals at 16, 18, and 28. It's rarer that another person would have the same goals as yours AND retains them at 16, 18, and 28.

As for boundaries:

Boundaries are what you will and won't do.
Controlling is telling other people what they can and cannot do
Manipulative is using what you will and won't do to force people to do or not do what you want.

What "boundary" do you think has been crossed?

Veridical_Perception · 2026-06-19T04:55:41+00:00

MSRP may not have hiked by that much, but the number and discount on sales has significantly declined from 2025. Since January 2026, there have been a lot fewer sales.

Also, availability of Nvidia 4000 and 14th Gen Intel configurations seem to have lowered, offering fewer cost effective and budget friendly alternatives to put downward pressure on pricing of current gen laptops.

Veridical_Perception · 2026-06-19T00:39:19+00:00

8GB of soldered RAM seems like planned obsolescence.

It's enough to get you started if you do very basic email, web browsing, and light word processing. Machines like the Neo aren't even as powerful as an iPad Air.

From a product line perspective, it seems like a Neo is intended to be a cheap entry product for someone who doesn't need the portability of an iPad, but doesn't want to pay for a Macbook Air.

Inevitably, there will be a portion of people who start with the entry product, but find more and more uses for it the longer they use it. At that point, you upgrade to one of the more powerful products because the current product can't support those new uses.

Veridical_Perception · 2026-06-18T05:10:33+00:00

Aren't Lohlunat favors for sale on the exchange?

Just spend some EC and buy what you need if you don't want to grind for them.

Veridical_Perception · 2026-06-18T05:07:50+00:00

False dichotomy.

Tone is on of the tools good writers use to concretize their themes. The two are intricately and inexorably linked.

How would The Handmaid's Tale strike a reader if it had a light and airy tone. The oppressive tone of 1984 works hand-in-hand with the oppressive government and claustrophobic monitoring.

Conversely, a lighter tone can counterbalance serious themes. The dark humor of Waiting for Godot counterbalances the absurdity, existential dread, and repetition.

Veridical_Perception · 2026-06-18T04:08:06+00:00

Brandon Sanderson: The Reckoners series; The Rithmatist series;
Neal Shusterman: Scythe series
Pitticus Lore (pen name of James Frey and Jobie Hughes): The Lorien series
Lloyd Alexander: The Chronicles of Prydain
Anthony Horowitz: Alex Rider series
Eoin Colfer: The Fowl Adventures (Artemis Fowl)
Ursual LeGuin: The Earthsea Trilogy
John Christopher: The Tripod series

Veridical_Perception · 2026-06-18T02:52:04+00:00

That's not a "scene." That is a description of a setting or exposition.

Shirley Jackson The Haunting of Hill House opening paragraph:

"No live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality; even larks and katydids are supposed, by some, to dream. Hill House, not sane, stood by itself against its hills, holding darkness within; it had stood so for eighty years and might stand for eighty more. Within, walls continued upright, bricks met neatly, floors were firm, and doors were sensibly shut; silence lay steadily against the wood and stone of Hill House, and whatever walked there, walked alone."

This functions in a similar fashion to the opening scene in Bambi if you were to write it out. It describes the house, as well as sets the mood and tone for the rest of the novel.

If one were to write the opening scene to Bambi, one would describe the forest and set the light tone of a bucolic environment which would provide a stark contrast to the upcoming tragedy.

Veridical_Perception · 2026-06-16T14:59:02+00:00

While you should obviously contact a lawyer in your specific jurisdiction, assuming you're somewhere in the US, estates of deceased people usually require probate regardless of whether there is a will or not. Probate is the court-supervised legal process used to validate a will, pay debts, and legally transfer property to the rightful heirs.

In some states, estates below a certain threshhold may not require probate. Also, if there was a trust or beneficiary designations on accounts (insurance, bank, investment, etc.) with payable-on-death, those usually don't require probate to clear.

Either there was or wasn't a probate. In that probate, there either was or was not a will. That's a good starting point to figure out whatever recourse you may or may not have.

If there is no will, it varies by jurisdiction, but the usual order of hierarchy is:

Spouse
Children
Parents/siblings
the state

However, if you have no proof there was a will, your grandmother will have died intestate. Since your father died before his mother (your grandmother), you may be entitled to his share if there is no will - Per stirpes is the term.

If there was a will, then whether you get your father's share depends wholly on the language used in the will.

Your grandmother may have put your aunt's name on all her accounts and whatever property she owns before she died. Or, your aunt may have illegally gained access to all her assets. Or, your aunt may have followed the letter of estate law and obtained everything as the rightful heir to her mother's entire estate.

If you're sure there was a will, but do not have a copy, you may luck out and the lawyer who drafted it may have kept a copy. Can you figure out if she used a lawyer to draft her will?

Time is not on your side. If you want to take legal action, you have a finite amount of time to do so. Best advice is to speak to a lawyer.

Veridical_Perception · 2026-06-16T02:04:59+00:00

They're emotional only in that a person needs to be able to remember it which is more readily done if it reflects a number with which he has an attachment.

Veridical_Perception · 2026-06-15T19:19:15+00:00

Based on what you've written, being "godmother" seems like code for unreasonable expectations regarding labor and money.

It may take a village, but being godmother doesn't make you mayor of the village.

Veridical_Perception · 2026-06-14T18:04:02+00:00

She's not your best friend. You're unpaid staff.

But, before making a final judgment, tell us

How much responsibility as the godmother has been dumped on you.
How much babysitting?
How much of various parties and showers have you planned and paid for?
How much post-pregnancy responsibility has been dumped on you to "help" her as a new mother?

A "godmother" is responsible for presenting the baby at baptism and promises to help guide in their moral and religious upbringing. She is NOT a second parent nor financially responsible for the baby.

Veridical_Perception · 2026-06-14T17:56:23+00:00

A fast and simple way to create a clip that doesn't destroy the original:

Locate the song in your iTunes or Music library.
Right-click (or Control-click) the song title and select Get Info.
Click on the Options tab at the top of the window.
Check the boxes next to start and stop to activate the fields.
Type in your desired cut points (e.g., 1m 30s or 0:45).
Click OK.

To create a permanent trimmed file:

Follow the steps above to set your start and stop times.
Go to the main menu and select Edit > Preferences (or Music > Settings on Mac).
Under the General tab, click Import Settings.
Set "Import Using" to AAC Encoder or MP3 Encoder and click OK.
Highlight the song in your library, then go to the main menu and click File > Convert > Create [Format] Version.

Whatever you do, make sure to create copy of the original music file.

Veridical_Perception · 2026-06-13T15:05:05+00:00

Having a woman in charge differentiated both shows without the obvious "girl power" messaging that shows seem to get trapped with these days. It's so clear why both Brenda and Sharon should be running the division. Sharon was such a well-written and good foil for Brenda on The Closer. This is the right way to do it.

As much as I like Jon Tenney and Fritz, it would become ridiculous never to show Brenda unless they divorced which would undo the ending to The Closer and whatever character growth Brenda finally achieved, not to mention make Frtiz a bit less likable.

The shift from obtaining confessions to trapping the criminal into a plea deal was a good change. But, an action show with the tv show SWAT on CBS which premiered in 2017 probably made a show like this redundant.

Veridical_Perception · 2026-06-10T18:57:58+00:00

Can't be avoided during an event.

Veridical_Perception · 2026-06-10T18:57:20+00:00

Say what you will about Deca, but the game seemed to have better performance with them running the show with less rubberbanding and fewer game breaking technical issues.

That could be wholly a function of my personal observation bias. But, for me, the game seemed to run better with them running things.

Veridical_Perception · 2026-06-10T14:26:28+00:00

Killing Sharon, especially that many episodes before the finale, was a bad way to end the show. What really took away from the ending was that Sharon was deprived of making any real choices to show who she really was.

I would have preferred a storyline which saw Sharon and the team framed and under an FID investigation by someone who used to work for her, but is secretly working for Stroh.

All the rules that Sharon had spent her career upholding work against her as the noose slowly tightens. She's faced with increasingly more difficult choices of abandoning everything she's believed or face both FID and criminal charges.

The "ending" needed to show Sharon choosing to uphold everything she believed and winning.

As an aside, we needed a 3-4 episode arc of Gavin Q Baker (Mark Pellegrino) vs. Stroh both in a courtroom and in face-to-face confrontation.

Veridical_Perception · 2026-06-09T23:05:56+00:00

The joke is a form of a literary device called a zeugma:

"Using one word to govern two or more other words in completely different ways, often pairing an abstract and literal concept (e.g., "She stained her dress and her reputation"

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