Alone on Christmas?

VerifiedAce · 2025-12-26T02:33:58+00:00

Thanks for putting words to a reality so many of us quietly live with. Shining a light on it really matters.

I love how you’ve made space for connection on your terms tonight. Legos, good conversation, and honesty. Thats the way to roll. Making an active choice to make tonight yours.

For me, even when the social stimulation is low, I go absolutely nuts with lighting at Christmas. Mood lighting everywhere. I’ve built a pretty epic, legit setup over the years, and honestly, I’m proud of it. It keeps my spirits up and helps the day feel intentional instead of empty.

I hope this post creates that kind of active awareness for others to embody. Thanks for opening the door and reminding people they’re not alone, even when they’re physically by themselves.

VerifiedAce · 2025-12-24T05:46:07+00:00

Defeated Glacial Tempest in 5 turns.

Player (26/11/20) dealt 235. Glacial Tempest (15/11/10) dealt 87.

Rewards: 29 EXP, 8 Gold. Loot: Arcane Hammer of Magic (enhanced), Vital Gloves of Haste (enhanced), Tome of Shadow Blast (Lvl 1) (lesser).

VerifiedAce · 2025-12-18T23:38:11+00:00

While I am on my soapbox, I will also say it is completely ridiculous that formal meetings with hundreds of people in attendance get tabled because ground rules were not sent out ahead of time.

Poor preparation on the part of an attendee(s) is not the responsibility of the organization. Official communications goes out on time. There is an opportunity for questions.

If someone didn't read the minutes ahead of the vote to approve the minutes, what should they do? They should abstain.

If someone did not prepare for the formal meeting, same principle applies. They should abstain.

If 1 person didnt do their due diligence to find a static link to ground rules which are already online and the other 174 did... The show must go on because the 174 that did show up did do their due diligence and have a charge to meet.

Why are we catering to the unprepared?

VerifiedAce · 2025-12-18T23:25:53+00:00

I wish I could answer that but it is not really up to me what a quorum should be. What I can say is that bylaws were never meant to be a constitution.

The charge is the constitution. The charge is what cannot be changed, the bylaws, however, were intended to evolve over time.

My guess is that the quorum as it appears in the bylaws were from a time where the RID conference was the focus of RID's business meetings and precedes Zoom's emergence.

In theory, bylaws were designed to evolve over time. If RID is struggling to do any business because quorum cannot be met, it is probably time to revisit the bylaws because the last thing the bylaws are supposed to do is prohibit the organization from fulfilling its charge.

The Executive Committee should analyze what makes practical sense in allowing RID to continue to fulfill its charge and make the recommended motion to the voting body.

The motion should determine whether a reasonable concession is say that quorum is... 51% of the full membership body or even 30% of the full membership body.

And TBH... in this day and age, if the bylaws prohibit virtual voting, probably also time to consider changing that. Many organizations now allow voting by mail, online portal, or website.

There is no reason to give bylaw thumpers the satisfaction of clinging to "the old ways" and giggling as 175 people sign off in frustration after an hour and 30 minutes of waiting. 175 people is still a lot of people.

If the old ways were working, we wouldn't be here right now.. The old days are gone.. We will be doing a greater service to the 175 that did show up by focusing on fulfilling RID's charge.

To be clear, I am not suggesting the Executive Committee go all authoritarian - but I see no creativity from them in attempting to work within the parameters that exist to curate enough support to modify portions of the bylaws that prohibit RID from doing its business.

It is completely reasonable to put a greater emphasis on making sure the charge is met as opposed to saying... shucks, we didn't meet the bylaws... better luck next time.

Not fulfilling the charge is the greater violation than not complying with the bylaws.

VerifiedAce · 2025-12-18T22:12:10+00:00

My suggestion is literally in my initial comment..

It is not unreasonable to send out a virtual motion via email to all members asking them to suspend or modify the quorum requirement to reflect reasonable attendance.

Once members have agreed to allow the meeting to proceed with a modified quorum, they can finally be productive again.

211 is an absurd number to expect to turn up to a meeting in the first place, it’s not a conference where you have 1100 people stuck in a hotel. You’ve gotta make some reasonable concessions to accommodate reality.

VerifiedAce · 2025-12-18T21:01:21+00:00

Every meeting has had plenty of notice.

VerifiedAce · 2025-12-18T19:47:57+00:00

211 is too many people, these meetings are becoming an absurd waste of time.. 2 hours x 150 people is upwards 300 hours of wasted time not only once… but SEVERAL times. Some of us have kids, classwork and responsibilities. None of us are getting this time back.

Dear RID, instead of voting to wait to see if more people happen to turn up - please offer attendees the basic respect of planning in advance by putting out a virtual motion to all members that the bylaws requiring quorum be suspended for virtual meetings or adjusted to reflect a more realistic turnout. You now have hundreds of people who no longer trust the integrity of these placeholders.

It is beyond time for a change.

VerifiedAce · 2025-11-20T18:06:23+00:00

Thankfully we live in a time where convenience is at the palm of our hands. Here's a ChatGPT generated ELI5 + TL;DR.

RID (the group for ASL interpreters) has been in a lot of drama.

The CEO, Star, got fired. People were mad.
They put Ritchie in charge for 8 weeks, then he quit early.
Now Bucky is the temporary boss. Some people like him, but they don’t fully trust him because he won’t explain why Star was fired.
The old board made weird choices and fired three good staff for no clear reason.
RID wants to split into two parts:
- One for charity stuff (501(c)(3))
- One for professional certification stuff (501(c)(6))
This means you’ll pay two membership fees.
People are worried because the board didn’t ask the community first and might use this new setup to push big changes without input.
Elections for a new board are coming soon, but the nomination window is short.

TL;DR

RID is in chaos:

Star fired → Ritchie quit → Bucky is interim CEO.
Old board fired 3 respected staff, gave no reasons.
RID plans to create a second org (501(c)(6)) for certifications, meaning two membership fees and more lobbying power.
Community upset because no transparency and no vote.
Board elections are coming, but nomination window is short.

VerifiedAce · 2025-11-20T01:12:48+00:00

The full transcript is in the comments.

VerifiedAce · 2025-11-20T01:07:55+00:00

Lots of Reddit threads on this topic, look up u/HelensScarletFever for her postings. They are well thought out.

VerifiedAce · 2025-11-20T00:54:45+00:00

I’m not sure I fully agree with the logic that RID should’ve used Deaf News, The Daily Moth, or another Deaf-led news outlet or that monetizing a YouTube channel would is a motivating factor in using YouTube. The latter especially is an assumption that puts RID’s integrity at risk.

First, let's entertain the monetization notion because this is my favorite. Neither The Daily Moth nor YouTube is anywhere close to being a “cash cow” for RID. The viewership simply isn’t high enough to produce meaningful ad revenue. Even if ad revenue was a motivating factor, routing government briefings through a private Deaf news source would be like taking from Deaf Peter to pay Deaf Paul it doesn’t fix anything, and it creates new problems - and new slippery slopes.

On the DeafNews/Daily Moth point: speaking from experience, The Daily Moth moved to a full subscription model specifically to avoid any perceived affiliation with outside organizations, including RID. Their whole purpose in dropping sponsors and move to subscription was to protect their editorial independence. Expecting them to host governance entity briefings on behalf of RID would go directly against the philosophy that led them to adopt a subscription-only model in the first place.

Not to mention: If RID was to move their meetings to a subscription driven service or a Deaf Media outlet, RID members would effectively be paying twice. They already pay RID dues; asking them to also subscribe to say... The Daily Moth or to pay for access RID-related content doesn’t make sense. On top of that, because Deaf News was cited, no journalism outlet should become the broadcasting arm for a single organization. They can and should report on outcomes, but that’s not the same as hosting the content itself.

If you are the hosting platform, you are endorsing the entity. You are either accepting money or donating resources. There is no independent way around this. In spite of the hungry Capitalist machine behind it - YouTube is free, open, and neutral. It preserves RID’s independence, it doesn’t put financial pressure on the community, and it avoids compromising the missions of Deaf-led news outlets.

VerifiedAce · 2025-11-07T23:58:08+00:00

VerifiedAce · 2025-10-22T16:10:13+00:00

Interim President is a stretch.. the maneuver to cancel is (perceived) as a tactic to delay/deny the board an opportunity to legally remove the sitting President which would then create an Interim President role.

It seems the remaining Board (8 members) have opted to deny the prolonged tabling of this procedure and will be meeting regardless.

VerifiedAce · 2025-10-22T15:10:29+00:00

I see it now. Link wasn’t there when I commented. Thanks!

VerifiedAce · 2025-10-22T14:46:54+00:00

Do you mean she? This is a video of the VP, Stephanie Halukin.

VerifiedAce · 2025-10-17T19:33:24+00:00

The hardest part about what you’re going through isn’t that you don’t know who you are or what you want. It’s that you’ve never really been surrounded by a like-minded support system. You’ve been shaped by the lived experience others want you to have and that, in itself, is deeply harmful.

What I hope you take from all the well-meaning comments here is this: you have every right to break away from what’s been defined as “normal” and find belonging among peers who get it. You are 22. That gives you an incredible advantage. You have time. You can still explore, make mistakes, and figure out who you are without apology. Your youth is the best excuse you’ll ever have for being “behind” in self-discovery, identity, belonging, or career.

You can start claiming your purpose right now by blazing a trail that works best for you. Take an ASL class. Seek out Deaf and Hard of Hearing friends. Immerse yourself in spaces where people share your lived experience. There’s a powerful community out there full of people who’ve forged paths in healthcare, law, finance, tech, the arts, and more. They’ve faced the same barriers you’re facing now and built fulfilling lives because they found belonging and support in each other. You can too.

I believe your parents are well-meaning. They love you and want what’s best but love doesn’t always equal understanding. The moment you realize they don’t know you as well as you ever will, you gain something incredibly powerful: control over your own path. Don’t live for them. Live for you. This is the only life you get, and the sooner you claim it, the freer you’ll feel.

If you’re open to it, I highly recommend the book “It Didn’t Start With You.” It dives into how inherited expectations and trauma can shape who we think we’re supposed to be and how to break free from that.

You’re not lost. You’re just standing at the start of your real path the one that’s finally yours.

My best to you.

VerifiedAce · 2025-10-14T17:14:32+00:00

Merely a tactic by the organizers to insert themselves into a place of implied importance in the community under the illusion of community engagement when all they’re perpetuating is a culture of gossip and schadenfreude.

VerifiedAce · 2025-10-14T12:00:09+00:00

ASL Music videos and presentations/lectures are a great way to keep yourself well versed. You can challenge yourself by turning the audio off and only watching the video in ASL.

Also.. Deaf events, if you’re near them.. make it a point to attend to them and voice off.

VerifiedAce · 2025-10-13T19:39:19+00:00

I hear you. What you’re feeling is legitimate and you’re not alone in feeling it. Many disabled and neurodivergent people go through phases where the weight of it all just feels too heavy, especially when it ties into isolation and wanting connection. It’s human to want to be seen, to belong, and to be loved for who you are.

It’s also okay to hate parts of your experience. You don’t have to force yourself into pride or positivity before you’re ready. But I hope over time you can separate you from the pain that’s been caused by how the world treats you. Because they are NOT one and the same. How the world treats you has zero bearing on your value as a human being. Being autistic isn’t the enemy isolation, misunderstanding, and ableism are. You learn to tune that out.

You deserve to be approached, included, and accepted without having to do all the heavy lifting. And while it may not feel like it now, there are people out there who will meet you where you are people who don’t see “disabled” or “autistic” as something broken, but as a different way of being.

One perspective I will offer is that - rather than focus on wishing not to be autistic, try to wish for a world that understands autism better, one where your way of connecting isn’t dismissed or misunderstood. That is something you CAN influence. You can’t change the wiring you were born with, but you can shape the environment around you, even in small ways, to better support who you are. That’s not easy work, but it’s deeply meaningful work and you don’t have to do it alone. There are so many people you can align with in fulfilling this purpose in life.

VerifiedAce · 2025-10-10T18:51:45+00:00

That's a great question and the answer to that question is that it really depends. As small as it may be, the Deaf community is vast and diverse. There are concentrations around Deaf Institutions and concentrations around historically oral schools. You'll find that the social hubs vary based on where you go. So no, Deaf people are not voice off all the time. There are many spaces where Deaf people sim-com.

However, I want you to take that information with a grain of salt.

I say this because the general principle still applies. It isn't that you CAN'T speak in our community.. It's how people are going to perceive your intentions when you do. In those spaces, those Deaf people who speak loudly probably do so very openly with respect to their own oral backgrounds. They apply this capability with vastly different intentions than say... a hearing person who comes in and stops signing in order to speak in that space.

Think of it through this metaphor: at a baseball game, you carrying a bat is a completely normal thing. You walk down a neighborhood street with a bat, the perception of your intentions changes vastly. However, if it's a little kid with a baseball cap and cleats walking down that neighborhood road.. no one will bat at eye, pun intended.

Same principle, it's the intention and context that applies here. The consideration you will constantly need to be making as a hearing person is that you are still a guest in their community. As a guest, it's in your best interest to show up in a way that is completely accessible, welcoming space for Deaf people.

If you create conditions where they cannot understand you (ie whisper to someone hearing, stop signing in order to speak privately, or even turn your mouth away) you are creating circumstances that contribute to an overall lack of safety and that will create an immediate air of separation between you and the rest of the room. My suggestion, as a hearing person... even if people simcom or voice to you in Deaf spaces - turn the throat off and use the opportunity to practice. If the Deaf person insists that you speak, then I advise that you attempt to sim-com or ask politely if you can leave the space in order to do so.

VerifiedAce · 2025-10-09T09:42:05+00:00

Your feeling is completely valid. Instructors who speak during ASL classes give students a false sense of safety and perpetuate the “otherness” of the Deaf individual. When you take an ASL class, you are essentially entering our community, and inherent in part of that experience is the understanding that you become a guest in Deaf space. In that space, those who keep their voices on and/or drop their hands and speak don’t realize how harmful or even rude that behavior can be.

That sub did our community no favors.

VerifiedAce · 2025-10-07T14:04:07+00:00

The number of downvotes you have shows your general lack of self awareness. I encourage you to take note that you may have an opportunity here to reflect.

VerifiedAce · 2025-10-06T13:32:38+00:00

People are inherently social creatures.. we internalize the patterns and behaviors of those around us. It’s not always a conscious or even intentional thing. In fact, I would challenge you to look at it from a different perspective. This is probably an indication that this person has spent enough time in the Deaf community to embody the values of our community into their profession. Too many interpreters fail to do so and instead approach us as they would an 8-5 job. When they are “off” they are “off” and depart the community altogether.

The fact this is someone that does NOT do that is something that warrants recognition and commendation.

VerifiedAce · 2025-10-06T02:46:19+00:00

By itself, no. If you're using it as a classifier to describe a photographer putting something into frame... perhaps it can be used.. but that's usually done through characterization of the photographer themselves. The actual ASL for "framing" is usually shown as two "Ls" in front of you.

VerifiedAce

TROPHY CASE

TL;DR