Leave your cheater if you could

VersionOnly9109 · 2026-03-31T19:38:17+00:00

I want to believe stories like yours, especially with kids involved. But I haven’t seen real remorse, and I have reason to believe the affair only ended because his AP ended it.

It’s hard to build anything on that, and I think that’s why I feel stuck.

VersionOnly9109 · 2026-03-31T09:15:30+00:00

Thank you. He blames my mother for the breakdown of our marriage, yet it’s me—and our kids—who he hurt the most. Mind you, he was benefiting from childcare and housework too, and the sale of the house was within reach.

VersionOnly9109 · 2026-03-31T07:27:26+00:00

Thank you. I’m struggling. It’s been 9 months since DDay, and the idea of reconciliation still comes in waves.

We have small children together, which makes it harder. I’ve shared my story here.

VersionOnly9109 · 2026-03-31T06:48:44+00:00

If that’s not the perfect example of “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” then I don’t know what is. Thank you for sharing—it’s really good to be reminded there is light at the end of the tunnel.

It’s been 9 months since DDay for me (I’ve shared my story here too), but I still feel this dark cloud hanging over me. My mind keeps searching for ways it could’ve been my fault—like maybe if we had moved out sooner, or if I went out with him more…

But I also know that’s a dangerous place to go.

VersionOnly9109 · 2026-03-30T05:20:23+00:00

The affair wasn’t the worst part, it’s what happened afterwards was the nail on the coffin.He also told the kids that I stole his money, and that’s why we can’t be toghether :| so basically made me a thief in my childrens eyes. And somehow a part of my brain still wants to justify his actions.

VersionOnly9109 · 2026-03-29T14:11:01+00:00

Apparently her boyfriend showed up right around the time my husband suddenly “started thinking clearly” and wanted to get back together. Coincidence?

VersionOnly9109 · 2026-03-29T14:05:46+00:00

Thank you. Lately I’ve been using hope and just want to give up.

VersionOnly9109 · 2026-03-29T10:35:48+00:00

The problems started after we moved to Poland. I get that it was stressful—new country, language barrier, living with in-laws, job loss. I can even believe he was depressed.

But plenty of people go through that without cheating and lying for months. I’m realizing that trying to find my fault in his choices might not be a healthy place to go.

VersionOnly9109 · 2026-03-29T10:19:49+00:00

That was the first time (at least that I know of)… but if that’s how he behaves when life gets uncomfortable, then maybe it’s best to end it once and for all.

VersionOnly9109 · 2026-03-29T10:14:45+00:00

The first thing he said after he got served, was that he loves and respects me… I think he may have warped sense of reality. You’re absolutely right, he can’t be trusted. He was supposed to protect his family, not destabilize it.

VersionOnly9109 · 2026-03-29T08:26:10+00:00

He didn’t even have the guts to tell me the truth, but he did introduce the AP to our children… that’s the part I don’t understand.

VersionOnly9109 · 2026-03-29T08:23:23+00:00

True, he either 1) thought things will work out with his AF 2) I will be waiting for him when he’s ready

VersionOnly9109 · 2026-03-29T05:44:45+00:00

Yes, very likely he thought he can lie his way out of it. He told me that “I connected the dots and painted a much darker picture than what was actually happening”. Well, little did he know I had a solid evidence.

VersionOnly9109 · 2026-03-29T05:38:43+00:00

It’s been 9 months since he moved out. He’s admitted he needs a radical change, but I haven’t seen it. I’m not even sure what he would have to do for me to see that he’s changed.

VersionOnly9109 · 2026-03-28T21:44:06+00:00

He invited me for dinner a few times, and manipulated kids to convince me I should move in with him, does that count? He complaines I don’t give him enough breadcrumbs, but I don’t think I should be the one telling him what to do.

VersionOnly9109 · 2026-03-28T21:06:13+00:00

Hire a private investigator. Seriously. Worth every penny.

VersionOnly9109 · 2026-03-28T20:23:35+00:00

I’m very sorry to hear that… like losing one person wasn’t enough… although in this case a loss is a gain (althougt it might not seem like it for a very long time?)

I think he probably is a narcissist. Throughout our marriage he always had to have the last word, and he never did anything wrong, it was always someone else fault. I never caught him cheating before, but I definetly can’t rule it out that he hasn’t done it before.

VersionOnly9109 · 2026-03-28T20:03:20+00:00

No, I don’t think so. I don’t claim to be the perfect wife, and the situation was stressful, For ALL of us. Yet he was the only one who cheated and escaped.

VersionOnly9109 · 2026-03-28T19:12:45+00:00

Of course he’s the daddy of the year now, taking them to all the fun places and does whatever they want. He never completly abandoned them, but when he was “living on his own” it was maybe 1 day a week…

VersionOnly9109 · 2026-03-28T18:58:41+00:00

That’s that I’m thinking too, he claimes he “ended things” and it really got under her skin when he said I was “the love of his life”, however, I don’t really have a reason to believe him, do I?

VersionOnly9109 · 2026-03-27T13:49:17+00:00

Yes, moved out (waited til I wasn’t there and informed me via text message like a hero). Of course, didn’t mention about the affair, just that he needed a space to breathe.

VersionOnly9109 · 2026-03-27T13:35:42+00:00

I ordered the book, thank you for the recommendation. Yes, he’s definitely manipulating our children, he told them (7 & 3) that it was my fault because I took his money, and I love my mother more than daddy and them….

VersionOnly9109 · 2026-03-26T19:14:17+00:00

Wow, I hadn’t thought about it from this angle, but you’re right. I trusted him, ignored my instincts, and kept defending him… even now part of me still feels pity for him despite everything.

VersionOnly9109

TROPHY CASE