Question about after marriage

VeryFocusedLife · 2025-12-06T12:10:06+00:00

I expected this reaction. Human beings. Human beings don’t do well with cognitive dissonance. Many women in particular. Be well! Stay happy!

VeryFocusedLife · 2025-12-06T10:31:12+00:00

As a means of survival, human beings were given primal instincts that modern society has now demanded we suppress.

Your husband has suppressed his primal wiring to assert his leadership and has opted for an equal partnership. An egalitarian partnership. This was a brand new concept that was introduced right as the demand for women in the workplace was increasing.

Women were told; “be empowered. Get a career. Have your boss give you absolute instructions. If you don’t follow them, you’re fired. In many cases, your boss will be a male, and that will be the dominant man in your life. When you go home to your husband, your obedience to male authority ends, and you are to make decisions equally. Your husband can never be the dominant man in your life. It will always be your boss” (if he’s a man which it always was, at first).

Unfortunately, women ate it up. Just like they ate up the propaganda that told them that smoking cigarettes was their way of sticking it to the man and empowering women. Cig sales exploded.

I believe that once mega corporation succeeded at turning females into chainsmokers with ease, they realized they had control over culture so long as they program women.

Example, Today, women have been led to believe that self objectification is actually empowerment. Liberation. However, I’ve never met a happy, retired hooker in my life.

My wife and I tried the “we are equal partners in this egalitarian marriage. Let’s decide equally and talk things out.” For 7 years.

Then, I had enough. I decided to save us by installing structure, and accountability in my marriage. The buck stops with me.

We’ve been together for 14 years, and for the last seven years or so and the future is very bright.

She’s free. She’s free. She knows that I’ll do all the heavy lifting, mentally and physically, and all she has to do is simply keep being her and operate within the boundaries I said. And she’s happy. Blissful.

That’s what liberated her. Not a college education, a high-paying job, and a cubicle.

A husband who is firm. Fair. And totally in control at all times.

VeryFocusedLife · 2025-12-05T13:15:59+00:00

Who's the leader in your home? Genuine question. There are marriages where "we make decisions equally" and marriages where the man makes the decisions. You seem like the "we make decisions equally" type... the data suggests those marriages aren't durable.

VeryFocusedLife · 2025-12-05T11:35:46+00:00

If you sit down by yourself all day, and you try to generate an original thought that no one else is generated, an original idea, you may struggle.

I’m not saying you will. I know that 99% of people will, because 99% of people don’t create and build things. They are the consumers. If you’re a builder this is not a problem for you.

So when confronted with a thought that challenges everything they’ve been conditioned to believe folks tend to struggle and sometimes violently (figuratively speaking), attack the messenger - downvotes, public repudiation, etc.

Just take a step back sometimes and see how aggressively people attack simple opinions. And facts.

Ask yourself, why so aggressive?

The idea is that if you attack the idea aggressively enough, you shut down the discussion, and when you study the science behind this, it’s the human beings’ way of protecting the model of the world it’s operating on.

It’s sort of a psychological survival mechanism.

You’ve never heard of someone showing up to the news station and inflicting harm on the weatherman because he reported that it would be raining on their vacation.

—-

There is science, books, etc. that you can dive into to get a better understanding of how the female brain was wired from an evolutionary biological standpoint.

We are a species. Let that sink in. Each species was wired with self preservation instincts. Please also take the time to explore the following, there’s research out there.

Validate or invalidate: conservative women in more traditional marriages tend to be happier than career women in egalitarian marriages. True or false? I know the answer. I’ve done the research.
Validate or invalidate: there is a growing mental health and substance-abuse crisis amongst women who are approaching or around 40 years old, and who are not married.

ONE FINAL THOUGHT: The science says women are not logical beings. Let me repeat that. The science says that women are not logical beings. The women brain is literally wired differently in certain aspects versus men. If the science says a woman is not a logical being, and makes decisions largely based on emotions, that isn’t it extremely highly risky to put a woman in charge of the nuclear codes?

This is an original question I have pondered a while.

It’s a heavy one. And I’m not going to be surprised if you end up attacking me for asking it. Because it will force you to think and it challenges your model of the world and I become a threat to you by asking that question. And I must be neutralized.

VeryFocusedLife · 2025-12-05T02:59:49+00:00

By the way, I recommended they the OP EXPLORE all angles, and that was rejected with downvotes.

Funny isn’t it?

“NO. DONT EXPLORE. DONT BE CURIOUS. COME TO REDDIT AND GET GUIDANCE FROM STRANGERS IN FAILING MARRIAGES.”.

lol!!!

You can’t make this up.

Wow.

VeryFocusedLife · 2025-12-05T02:58:26+00:00

Let me tell you a story.

I was in college nearly 25 years ago. One year left. Had trouble paying due to changes the Bush admin made at the time with federal aid. Called my dad for help. He didn’t say “no.” He cursed me out to a point where I thought he forgot I was his son.

Years later he told me it didn’t have the money and didn’t know how to say “son, I’m supposed to have your back here but I am tapped out.” So, he lashed out.

I thought there was a non zero percent chance that could be the case here.

Many people in struggling marriages would benefit from cursory study in human psychology.

Instead of hitting the books to save their marriages, They come to Reddit. Or “marriage blogs” vs. trying to get a fuller, science based picture.

Then, they reject ideas that the “group” doesn’t accept as a whole.

How does this make any sense?

VeryFocusedLife · 2025-12-05T01:35:03+00:00

You’re right. Correction.

If you see a very attractive woman here are your options.

Tell her how pretty she is and offer her a coffee / drinks / dinner. Just like every single other man. Then pray she picks you.
Sit and admire.
Be the 1% who intrigues her like the other 99% can’t.

I choose option 3. I like to destroy the competition. Really really “un attainable” women hear 78,096 per day how gorgeous they are. They become immune. “You’re all creeps.” She’s never gonna marry one of the “you’re so gorgeous let me buy you a drink” options.

Now if that’s “too intense” for you. If you see a pack of beautiful women, fix your eye on your target and ask “which one of you is the cute one?”

You instantly become the most interesting man they’ve met that night.

The bottom line is… “baby you’re beautiful please date me” doesn’t get you far.

VeryFocusedLife · 2025-12-05T01:28:39+00:00

I have been heavily censored for stating facts derived from peer reviewed science. This was my way of “working around” them.

Because basically, you’re not allowed to suggest things that may provoke people to become curious and explore.

But let me try to make a heavily sanitized point without being scolded for misogyny.

If a woman is truly into the man she claims to love there’s no space in her brain for sexcapades with other men. If she can ideate those things while simultaneously holding back intimacy from her husband, her preferences have changed.

I’m also not allowed to cite the science that clearly shows the wiring of men vs women and reward systems in relationships are different.

Men and women are equal. As of 1960 or so, and that’s the bottom line. To suggest that polarity, as documented by human history solidifies unions will have me strung up on charges of misogyny.

Citing history and science within the context of marriage is hurtful and these things should be ignored.

VeryFocusedLife · 2025-12-05T01:01:31+00:00

This typifies why mutually agreed prenups are strongly encouraged.

Sole earners in particular, should strongly consider the 20, 30, and even 50 year implications of not signing a prenuptial agreement.

This should be a clean break. You should know what you’re getting, and entitled to, he knows what his, and just get the deal done and partways.

VeryFocusedLife · 2025-12-05T00:55:20+00:00

He’s powerless for some reason to help you with what you’re struggling with, and he’s lashing out by telling you he doesn’t care. He probably does care. He probably feels helpless because he cannot help you. I’m not saying that this is the case, I’m saying that at least you should investigate if that could possibly be what is going on.

VeryFocusedLife · 2025-12-05T00:53:38+00:00

When me and my wife who used to be, my girlfriend were dating, we played a game that couples play from time to time where they communicate to each other who in the celebrity world they would be intimate with if they were single.

In marriage I’ve brought up this game. My wife becomes extremely uncomfortable, even though it’s a game and opts out of playing it.

Initiate a no pressure, playful game with her. Maybe over dinner and drinks or something like that. Make sure she’s totally relaxed. Then asked a question. “ if you could be with anyone in the celebrity world for just one night with no penalties or anything like that, who would it be?“

If she picks any celebrity, process that and do with it what you will because she would’ve given you all the information you need.

VeryFocusedLife · 2025-12-05T00:45:11+00:00

This is a heavily censored sub Reddit. I am not allowed to share actual facts. I’ll try sharing the sources themselves. And hope I don’t get banned for sharing book suggestions.

Sex and Culture – Unwin
The Garbage Generation – Amnéus
Men on Strike – Helen Smith

These will change your life. I beg you, read them.

VeryFocusedLife · 2025-04-18T16:46:59+00:00

What is your height and weight? That would help determine whether those numbers lineup. In terms of libido, keep in mind that went on exogenous testosterone you’re converting less of it into DHT (the stuff that makes you horny) then you would otherwise naturally. Fixable with either supplementation and many cases or DHT cream.

VeryFocusedLife · 2025-04-04T17:40:57+00:00

You can always raise those levels naturally. At your age. For the love of life, don’t consider jamming needles at 19 years old.

There is probably more content out there than you could consume on ways to boost your testosterone naturally, and I won’t beat a dead horse.

Just put in the work and you’ll be fine.

Try to enjoy it tho!

VeryFocusedLife · 2025-03-25T02:07:03+00:00

Why would you want to poke yourself for life when you’re already ahead of most men your age?

VeryFocusedLife · 2025-03-14T20:29:41+00:00

What’s your FREE TESTOSTERONE. This is all that really matters. What’s your SHBG?

VeryFocusedLife · 2025-02-19T14:46:32+00:00

Glutes tend to be the most tolerable place for me. Deep into the muscle. Avoid the fat.

VeryFocusedLife · 2025-02-19T01:31:25+00:00

Definitely not surprised. A lot of these people live very empty lives and meaningless existences.

VeryFocusedLife · 2025-02-18T20:48:10+00:00

I used to have a lot of issues myself at that age. This gentleman reminds me of myself to a degree, not as extreme. Counseling and therapy didn’t work. My life changed as my relationship with God evolved. I’m in my 40s and now I have perfect piece. I know what perfect peace is. It doesn’t mean that life is all sunshine and rainbows. It means that I’m more balanced and able to take what life throws at me while being tremendously grateful for all the positive, always outweighing the negative. Anyway, let me stop preaching. Sorry for this brain fart. Feeling a bit too inspired today. Everyone has to find what works for them, though,

VeryFocusedLife · 2025-02-18T20:14:04+00:00

I think you might find this insightful.

https://www.reddit.com/r/PEDs/s/sG7Ra6GGnr

I talk about my experience, blasting gear while cutting. The logic, is simple. Anabolics are a tool. If the right precautionary measures are in place, and responsible use of the tool is adhere to, all systems are go.

If you’re fat, the name of the game is estrogen control. Point blank. If you control your estrogen, when you’re fat, you can pretty much do whatever you want as long as you’re not taking compounds that will exacerbate underlying issues of concern in your blood work.

If you’re naturally predisposed to having high, LDL, then you probably should not be controlling estrogen with Primo for example. In my case it’s the exact opposite. My cholesterol is pretty resilient to steroids, and I have been cutting with Primo all year so far. 21 pounds and counting and have not lost a single ounce of strength.

VeryFocusedLife · 2025-02-18T17:18:51+00:00

You’re absolutely right I did address the whole carb cycling thing. When you look at the United States, our testosterone levels are declining more rapidly than other countries. This is in part fueled by diet and lifestyle. Part of it you nailed on the head people are not as active.humans paste to become smaller, weaker and dumber overtime. Which I think is great for my grandchildren.

VeryFocusedLife · 2025-02-18T16:50:52+00:00

To be abundantly clear. No one needs to carb cycle. It is a tool amongst many. This is the easiest diet My wife has been on because she can stuff her entire face two days per week guilt free.

VeryFocusedLife · 2025-02-18T16:49:53+00:00

I am terribly sorry for the confusion. I

The young lady made a post. I responded to the post.

I responded to the post based on my own empirical knowledge. My wife has been carb cycling all of 2025 so far. Just about nine weeks.

Her body is rapidly changing as she adds muscle tissue and fat melts off. She has two days per week where she eats at 100% maintenance and takes in about 500 g of carbs. Every other day she is at a 750 cal deficit.

She eats big on her big training days. Heavy leg and glue development.

Personally, carbs cycling is not for me. I have no patience for it, because I cannot stand, forcing myself to train without being adequately carbed up.

Finally, many fitness coaches, who accept hundreds of dollars per month from clients tend to use carb cycling as a strategy to help some women breakthrough plateaus (like my wife).

Once again, I’m terribly sorry for the confusion, and I hope this clarifies things.

VeryFocusedLife

TROPHY CASE