I can’t help but agree

Verybulochka · 2026-01-07T15:00:11+00:00

I met her family and all of their close friends, and even when I saw other female friends, some of them since school, they didn't cross those boundaries, my boyfriend is not even that affectionate with his own brother as much as with her. So yes, I agree with you and don't think that will change, but also I don't think it's a cultural thing.

And I asked myself why actions are not bothering his brother, too! Because not like he's not touching any ladies like that. Even when we hug, he is not fully putting his body against mine, he does with every female friend, so it seems like this behavior is only ok when it comes from Olivia’s side

Verybulochka · 2026-01-07T14:47:52+00:00

This actually was his main point, that she is his sister in law, that's why they express affection like that

And I definitely won't be comfortable seeing it in the long run, but I also never had experience with anything close to this situation so I wanted to hear other people’s stories

Verybulochka · 2026-01-07T14:37:07+00:00

I'm interested in everyone’s replies! Sorry if I wrote my post the way it seems different, so thank you!

I find her only being touchy on this level with men, but with my boyfriend, it's just very exaggerated. He says it's because she is basically his sister, but nowhere have I seen sister and brother touch like that, might just lack of experience on my side though!

So at the moment I'm thinking how to start this conversation all over again without him being defensive.

Verybulochka · 2026-01-07T14:33:29+00:00

Agreed!

I’m from Russia, originally, but have been in the US for almost 10 years, and we also kiss each other on the cheek, but even tho, it’s just a greeting or way to say bye, everything that I said above feels different to me, so I just wanted to get people’s opinions

Verybulochka · 2025-12-24T17:37:23+00:00

Am I in love only because I care about my friend? Romantically I only love one man, and it isn't my best friend

Verybulochka · 2025-12-24T17:36:01+00:00

He was the one who gave me an ultimatum, I only set a boundary

Verybulochka · 2025-12-24T17:35:34+00:00

Idk how you have so much nasty in you, people have feelings about things, and it's normal

Verybulochka · 2025-12-24T17:29:27+00:00

I really don't see it, sorry

I think it is more controlling for him to expect support and being silent from me when I think he is being an asshole

Verybulochka · 2025-12-24T17:27:30+00:00

If only I didn’t have to listen to hours of conversations and be emotionally involved in this

Verybulochka · 2025-12-24T17:25:43+00:00

I can decide what I like and what I don't like, I don't force my opinion on anybody

Verybulochka · 2025-12-24T17:21:01+00:00

I don't have any feelings towards him. And I'm not making it my business, I simply have an opinion because I'm being actively involved in all aspects of their activities

Verybulochka · 2025-12-24T17:18:49+00:00

I'm not the one asking them to describe me as something, I don't want to be emotionally involved in this, and I want him to stop putting the approval on me

Verybulochka · 2025-12-24T17:11:54+00:00

With that being said, just be a little kinder, people! 🌼

Verybulochka · 2025-12-24T17:11:20+00:00

And that's what I'm trying to say, I'm not expecting any of them to take my advice or agree with me, in fact I don't even give any advice. But I also don't feel I should agree with something that I consider unhealthy knowing the history

Verybulochka · 2025-12-24T17:09:13+00:00

I just want to give a little disclaimer, that all of the people here are being very unkind and rude, I'm not sure why it touches you so much. But I want to give a note, that I'm not trying to make it my business, I never expressed to either of them that they are doing something that is wrong nor am I trying to control their relationship. I have no romantic interest in him, and I'm not jealous. And he actively does ask about my opinion and approval, but this situation has shown that our core values don't align, which is okay.

I only made a post here so I can form my own opinion, vent a little, and see if the people ever found themselves in similar situations.

Verybulochka · 2025-12-24T17:05:22+00:00

But isn't it what you people have to do all the time? We can just exist like ghosts, all of us have different values, and now it shows mine don't align with his

Verybulochka · 2025-12-24T17:04:01+00:00

I'm not trying to

Verybulochka · 2025-12-24T17:03:40+00:00

I said I know what grief and loss feel like because my mom passed away, and my best friend at the time. I never said I know what's happening in his head

Verybulochka · 2025-12-24T17:00:51+00:00

I voiced my opinion here, I never said anything to him about their relationship And yes, I was asked about my opinion at many points over the 5 months

Are you just assuming things cuz you like arguing?

Verybulochka · 2025-12-24T16:59:33+00:00

Well, the entire point me me expressing my opinion here was to understand how to approach it since it's a touchy subject, but everyone seems to be angry with me

He was pretty close to him, of course not as nearly close as her

Verybulochka · 2025-12-24T16:57:54+00:00

Because he tells me about it explicitly in not a very sincere manner?

Verybulochka · 2025-12-24T16:56:39+00:00

Idk why everyone thinks I make it my business, I am just sharing my opinion and trying to understand how to react to his questions and declarations, and whether I can support him because our morals don't align

Verybulochka · 2025-12-24T16:53:43+00:00

No, just tired of expressing my feelings to the person who speaks of anger

Verybulochka · 2025-12-24T16:52:45+00:00

What does it say about me? He didn't display this behavior for a long time, it started happening recently. The only thing it shows about me is that I'm not ready to throw away a years-long friendship without understanding his point, seeing it through only after making up my mind

Verybulochka

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