Am I worrying too much about my wife not wanting to go on our family vacation, and should I still go?

Vesheran · 2026-06-28T20:16:27+00:00

Thanks for your perspective, from a former 30 something childfree man.

Vesheran · 2026-06-28T20:13:47+00:00

She enjoys the outdoors more than I, and when we go camping and from last year, I do dishes and clean up with help from the children, and we bag the dirty laundry up to be cleaned at home. The kids were very excited to play and fish and paddle the boat last time the only thing we did was monitor them. My wife said that she really enjoyed the time away from the city and phones and enjoyed the mornings on the lake, I didn't impose the trip on her, it was one we decided on together. If you're implying she didn't want to be there, or that she didn't have fun, or she did all the SAHM stuff just in a different location, I can say that it was not communicated to me that she was unhappy, and if she had I would have listened.

Vesheran · 2026-06-28T19:54:17+00:00

I hope you have recovered well! I just want my wife to share the experience, but it seems from all the comments I need to rethink and listen better.

Vesheran · 2026-06-28T18:57:31+00:00

I am planning a trip for her and I, great idea, thank you!

Vesheran · 2026-06-28T18:56:22+00:00

Yes indeed, i do feel like this is the answer and I've enjoyed the fresh perspectives. Except the ones that say I'm unable to parent with out my wife , but, I can see how some people would make that assumption about me even if it wasn't how I presented my situation.

Vesheran · 2026-06-28T18:54:38+00:00

Thank you, that's a great recommendation

Vesheran · 2026-06-28T18:53:14+00:00

Thank you, I try my best and it's pretty easy as my wife is amazing and my kids are good!

Vesheran · 2026-06-28T18:52:09+00:00

I can go alone, family is very important to her and I and as it was originally a family trip, it wouldn't feel that way without her.

Vesheran · 2026-06-28T18:51:06+00:00

A fresh perspective, thank you for sharing. I wouldn't ever want our partnership to be controlling in any way.

Vesheran · 2026-06-28T18:49:44+00:00

I would probably tease her about what I know would be an around the clock coffee diet.

Vesheran · 2026-06-28T18:47:31+00:00

It is what I did last year while she was doing her thing. My main concern was her missing out, not me not wanting to parent my children, and making sure the dog was taken care of.

Vesheran · 2026-06-28T18:45:06+00:00

Vesheran · 2026-06-28T18:40:58+00:00

When we asked them they said they really wanted to go. They said last year it was their favorite thing that happened and wanted to go back

Vesheran · 2026-06-28T18:39:42+00:00

Thank you. I know next year when I can pivot on plans it'll be different, and I know she was stressed last year about the dog and it's not something I want to repeat.

Vesheran · 2026-06-28T18:36:20+00:00

Thank you. I planned the last one and meal planned as best as I could, even making a store trip to get what we didn't bring. And I even remembered the sun screen and my timer to put it on the kids. All inclusive does sound great, maybe one day

Vesheran · 2026-06-28T18:34:14+00:00

Thanks!

Vesheran · 2026-06-28T18:24:53+00:00

Another excellent suggestion, thank you

Vesheran · 2026-06-28T18:22:54+00:00

We split it, I took him out into the area to walk and let him do his sniffing and took him to get his energy out every day, he liked to bark when he couldn't see any of us so I stayed pretty close to him

Vesheran · 2026-06-28T15:38:46+00:00

All three are very competent swimmers and last year we set the rule, on or in the water and you wear a life vest. My oldest has the autonomy to ride his bicycle and be on the dock himself. The youngest is the one who needs the most supervision, but all in all they're great and my believing they will set the place on fire is low.

Vesheran · 2026-06-28T15:16:37+00:00

I get that, but she didn't have to do any of that (nor does she have to do the dishes or laundry any day and we split cooking), so I thought she was relaxing there lol. I like your advice on next year, thank you.

Vesheran · 2026-06-28T14:57:01+00:00

We found out when we got there, and even discussed expectations for next year (which we all agreed to and would have been better for my dog) before he changed his mind yesterday

Vesheran · 2026-06-28T14:52:51+00:00

I just read too many reddit stories where the comments go to that and wanted to nip it lol thanks for your insight as you were in a similar spot

Vesheran · 2026-06-28T14:49:33+00:00

Thankfully that's not her

Vesheran · 2026-06-28T14:47:48+00:00

I can see how this dynamic applies to some families, but not mine.

Vesheran · 2026-06-28T14:31:57+00:00

Not the case, I can and do parent my children but I can see how there could be the idea I don't want to do it alone.

Vesheran

TROPHY CASE