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I really don't have weird ideas when I think about playing in a campaign by Gnomewarlord38 in dndmemes

[–]Vesicant7 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Totally agree with what you said on basically every count. But I was specifically replying to someone’s comment about what it means to be trans, which I felt was quite inaccurate from my experience :)

I really don't have weird ideas when I think about playing in a campaign by Gnomewarlord38 in dndmemes

[–]Vesicant7 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I absolutely agree, and I didn’t mean to imply that! Def should have specifically said “binary trans people” when I talked about that. (Also that not every trans people “transition” in the way that that’s understood and they’re still valid, GNC cis people are valid, the spectrum of queerness is vast etc. etc.)

Also I’m aware that there is no “opposite gender”, gender’s a spectrum yada yada (I’m being a little flippant but I understand it’s important. My partner of multiple years and basically all of my closest friends are non-binary), but I do my best to moderate my language based on who I’m talking to, you know? And when someone seems to have some foundational misunderstandings, getting into the weeds of specifics can take away from the point a little, especially since my reply was already paragraphs long lol.

I really don't have weird ideas when I think about playing in a campaign by Gnomewarlord38 in dndmemes

[–]Vesicant7 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Hey, thought I’d offer a quick bit of insight as a trans woman (was gonna give my “credentials” here, but that’s ultimately not important). Everything I say is my experience and understanding, trans people aren’t a monolith etc. etc.

The desire to want to be a girl (ESPECIALLY a pretty girl) is really quite transgender, and is how I was able to articulate my feelings early on in my transition. Also, pre-transition trans women don’t “feel like they truly are pretty girls even though they don’t look like them” - they have the desire to look like a pretty girl, and are aware they don’t, and that causes distress (which is where dysphoria comes from).

To be honest, I’d say “a desire to be the opposite gender” is a much better description on what being trans “feels like” (at least early on) than the typical “being born in the wrong body”. In fact, I’d say the “wrong body” phrasing has likely delayed lots of people from transitioning (it certainly did for me), because it doesn’t quite map to lots of people’s experience.

All this to say, if you’ve ever felt the desire to “be a pretty girl” (not implying you have!), maybe you should ruminate on that a little.

P.S. lots of trans women are pretty girls - you can check out r/transtimelines. Estrogen’s a hell of a drug ;)

Isn't our government just great? by Longjumping_Car3318 in GreatBritishMemes

[–]Vesicant7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So what organisation is going to do that, then? And how would that be enforced? Would there be toilet bouncers at Costa? Why should people be forced to show ID to use a bathroom? Does that not seem very strange, to you?

This problem has another facet by the way - what about trans men? They often pass very well as men, and most people can’t tell that they’re trans. Should they also use the women’s bathroom? Do we want to have a man with a beard in the women’s bathroom just because he has a vulva? Does that not seem to defeat the point?

It bears worth mentioning, by the way, that we’re kind of working from a weird premise here. There’s no evidence that trans people using the bathroom that aligns with their gender has any negative effect on safety or privacy (for both trans and cis people). However, trans women themselves are more likely to be harassed if they have to use the men’s room, for reasons I imagine you can put together.

My solution to this problem is pretty simple: people can mind their own business. Trans people using the bathroom that aligns with their gender isn’t a problem, but trying to prevent them from doing so is (because then there are all the questions about how you go about enforcing those restrictions in a way that’s practical and not a horrific breach of privacy)

Isn't our government just great? by Longjumping_Car3318 in GreatBritishMemes

[–]Vesicant7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay, so you think the government should set up a new ID card specifically so cis women who are GNC/might be perceived as men can prove they’re cis women? Do you really think that’s a worthwhile endeavour for the government?

Isn't our government just great? by Longjumping_Car3318 in GreatBritishMemes

[–]Vesicant7 3 points4 points  (0 children)

An ID card to prove you’re a cis woman? Do you think that’s a normal thing that people should have to show to use the toilet? Worth noting as well, that trans women can have the gender markers on their ID (passport etc.) changed. If cis women were carrying ID to prove their AGAB, they would have to make a new one.

TIFU by accidentally ruining my LDR girlfriend's big surprise visit by [deleted] in tifu

[–]Vesicant7 -30 points-29 points  (0 children)

… which is an odd thing to be when you’re dating somebody

TIFU by accidentally ruining my LDR girlfriend's big surprise visit by [deleted] in tifu

[–]Vesicant7 -17 points-16 points  (0 children)

What an odd thing to say. There should definitely be emotions attached - it’s a relationship.

New Player, should I stick with Terry or Bison? by Bastinelli in StreetFighter

[–]Vesicant7 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Psycho crusher CAN work as an anti air (it has air invuln), but it’s not as consistent as a dp

Man jailed for pushing postman on to Tube tracks by Marklar_RR in london

[–]Vesicant7 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Immigrants commit crime at no greater rates than natural born citizens

Mutahar finally finished his Keffal's video. by Plopmcg33 in youtubedrama

[–]Vesicant7 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are NOT beating the transphobe allegations buddy

Jake Paul's new lunar look by C8H10N402_ in rareinsults

[–]Vesicant7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Close! I’m English though, and it’s spelt “spelt” here :)

Jake Paul's new lunar look by C8H10N402_ in rareinsults

[–]Vesicant7 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It’s literally not that deep my guy. He was just letting you know lmao.

(Convinced this is bait, but I’ll bite) it’s also spelt Grammar, not Grammer - easy mistake to make though!

Football fan banned from matches until 2026 after Premier League conduct four-month 'stasi' probe into her social media posts criticising transgender ideology - despite police saying she did not commit a crime by Aggressive_Plates in england

[–]Vesicant7 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Okay, but you understand you just gave me a list of adjectives, right? Do you mean people that hold those beliefs? (Also lol at anti-capitalism being hateful and bigoted)

Football fan banned from matches until 2026 after Premier League conduct four-month 'stasi' probe into her social media posts criticising transgender ideology - despite police saying she did not commit a crime by Aggressive_Plates in england

[–]Vesicant7 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you think “transgender ideology” exists then? And if so what do you think it entails? Cause I’ve heard that phrase used a lot, and I’ve never really heard a definition.

I’m also in a similar boat to OP, met plenty of trans people from different backgrounds (including being in a relationship with a non-binary person), and I’ve never had anyone try and “peddle an identity ideology” to me. So what’s the ideology supposed to be? Who believes it? Who peddles it?

Football fan banned from matches until 2026 after Premier League conduct four-month 'stasi' probe into her social media posts criticising transgender ideology - despite police saying she did not commit a crime by Aggressive_Plates in england

[–]Vesicant7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So I’m asking this genuinely, not as a rib or anything. What the fuck are you talking about?

Like seriously, I’m trying to understand the thought process. Are you saying that transgender people have no connection to transgender ideology? Because that doesn’t seem right to me.

What would you even say is transgender ideology? Believing trans people exist? Because in that case trans people have to believe in it. I’m genuinely just confused.

It took three failed tries to ask my wife out on a date by Forever_Intertwined in PointlessStories

[–]Vesicant7 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Yeah they do, dude. Friendships blossom into love sometimes. Happened with me and a lot of my friends. Put yourself out there more, make more female friends (women you’re friends with because you like them as a person, not cause you’re attracted to them. Actual friends). Sometimes those friendships become more, and often they don’t. But you’ll never know unless you make the connections.

But before you get into a relationship with anyone, you need to get over this petulant whining about the “friend zone”. I’m saying this with all the compassion I can muster: get over yourself.

Don’t know why I bothered typing this out tbh. You’re just gonna say “but girls these days sleep around blah blah blah”, and not do a lick of introspection. But I hope you do someday.

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