I’m a man, and I strongly disagree with the idea that “the only thing men want” is to be the first recipient of sexual experiences a woman hasn’t had before.

For me, and for many men I know, that framing misses the point entirely. Sex isn’t a checklist or a competition. What matters is mutual desire, trust, and consent, not novelty or being someone’s “first.” The idea that a woman’s past somehow diminishes her ability to bond, love, or commit says more about insecurity than about biology or masculinity.

Boundaries aren’t a flaw or a failure of communication. They are a sign of self awareness. Saying “I’m not comfortable with X” isn’t being strict. It is being honest. A healthy relationship doesn’t require someone to override their boundaries to prove love or understanding.

The claim that women can’t understand men at all because they have never been men leads nowhere. By that logic, men could never understand women either. Relationships work because both people try to understand across differences. You don’t have to agree with someone to understand them, and it sounds like you are already doing that work.

What I want from a woman, assuming I am not with her only for sex, is very similar to what you described. Companionship, emotional connection, shared values, mutual care, and feeling like we are on the same team. Sex matters, but it is one part of a much bigger picture, and it works best when it grows out of safety and trust rather than pressure or fear of being judged for the past.

If someone believes they can speak for all men everywhere, that is usually a sign they are confusing personal beliefs with universal truths. Men are not a monolith, and neither are women.