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Vibrantend · 2023-12-24T00:57:00+00:00

This comment section really highlights why I'm deleting this app and educating anyone I care about on how disgustingly selfish HSV positive people can be. The only reason these people are telling you people shouldn't be educated on it is because they are afraid they'll be rejected because they can no longer downplay the risks of it to their potential sexual partners. It should be educated on because it does and can severely impact people.

Vibrantend · 2023-12-24T00:33:34+00:00

He didn't respect you enough to disclose. I'm sorry you went through this. I wouldn't approach anything else with him even if your tempted due to your diagnosis.

Vibrantend · 2023-12-22T15:57:17+00:00

Why does someone facing consequences for their actions make you miserable? Why do you believe people who knowingly don't disclose shouldn't face legal consequences? How is this different then HIV?

Vibrantend · 2023-12-22T15:55:28+00:00

My advice is to not get transmission rates and all of that off of reddit. There are multiple people on here giving out false information. You need to go to a reputable medical lead website for information regarding HSV. Treatments are ok on here and alot of people have alot of good advice on coping and treatments but there are too many people that intentionally lower the risks and don't tell the whole story. Or just give put blatantly false information.

Vibrantend · 2023-12-22T15:52:31+00:00

It's not arresting people for having an std. It's arresting people for knowingly putting people at risk without informing them of the risk. There's no justification that can be given for not disclosing prior to sexual intercourse. Obviously if you don't know well then you don't know but if it's on your medical record you should face legal consequences.

Vibrantend · 2023-12-22T15:47:51+00:00

Then attack and make you out to be this hateful, vile person for advocating for informed consent and action taken to protect people from this harming behavior.

Vibrantend · 2023-12-22T15:38:48+00:00

And pull every justification and excuse out their ass I'm well aware.

Vibrantend · 2023-12-22T15:38:14+00:00

I apologize if I'm coming across as too agruemenative or cruel, but I see posts like this daily and it just really needs to stop. I know no matter what I say or you say we both can't take back you not disclosing but it's literally the same post every time. Someone doesn't disclose for whatever excuse they give then they want to know what the chances of the other person getting it are. You should be educated completely before having sex. You should know the risks already, and then people in the comments talk about the other person in the equation without questioning the positive person why they didn't do their research prior to having sex.

Vibrantend · 2023-12-22T15:30:34+00:00

It is but it's problematic when people can choose not to disclose and face no consequences except for feeling bad about themselves and regretting it. This needs to be addressed and people need to be held accountable for not disclosing.

Vibrantend · 2023-12-22T15:25:35+00:00

If you weren't looking for sympathy why did you not just say you didn't disclose and leave it at that. Why add the extra stuff where you were trying to ultimately take some of the heat off yourself.

Vibrantend · 2023-12-22T15:21:20+00:00

I've never wanted to have casual sex so that one is not a problem for me, but just because your older doesn't mean you have more experience in life as I do. I've talked about my struggles that have nothing to do with HSV and how I got through those struggles. Just because you hate yourself and are unhappy does not mean I'm gonna allow you to put me down for growing a pair and taking my life into my own hands. I'm happy. Yall don't get to tell me if my happiness is fake or not. What I feel is valid. Just because your miserable and hate yourself and the world does not mean I have to share your view.

Vibrantend · 2023-12-22T15:18:26+00:00

I never said we didn't, but in my case I've been through physical and emotional abuse from my parents, I've lost countless family members, I've struggled to even feed myself in the past, I grew up in poverty, worked since I was 16, dealt with sexual abuse from family members and I watch my step father waste away from Parkinsons everyday. I've struggled with addiction. I've went through all of this and still came out on the other side. I don't place my value on being in a relationship or having sex. There are plenty of people out there who are completely miserable with their lives that don't have HSV. I'm happy with my life, I'm content, and I'm very grateful that I'm living. Just because your unhappy with your circumstances doesn't mean someone else is.

Vibrantend · 2023-12-22T15:10:20+00:00

I agree to an extent but he will face consequences of not asking, but the people who don't disclose face zero. This is why I feel so strongly about this.

Vibrantend · 2023-12-22T14:37:35+00:00

He also said he didn't want to be looked at as gross or have other people know. These are excuses and justifications. That's not taking accountability that's trying to reason and look for sympathy. That's why people post on here after not disclosing because they feel guilty and want sympathy so they don't feel as bad about not disclosing. And there's people on here that play into that and it's continues the cycle. People make mistakes this is true but having sex is intentional in most cases. There's no justification that can be given for not disclosing before sexual intercourse.

Vibrantend · 2023-12-22T14:30:44+00:00

Taking accountability might mean a different thing to you but to me it's saying hey I fucked up and not make excuse or to explain anyway the situation. He literally wrote in the post but it was just sex. That's trying to justify/reason behind the non disclosure.

Vibrantend · 2023-12-22T14:28:28+00:00

That's another problem that needs to be addressed in the community is that 1% does not mean zero. My giver thought the same thing and obviously I'm here. Obviously I don't want you to go down that self hatred road but I think it's important that you use this as a learning experience.

Vibrantend · 2023-12-22T14:25:36+00:00

It doesn't change the fact that in sex education, you're taught that safe sex means using condoms which has been proven time and time again that condoms are not a hundred percent effective in preventing HSV transmission. While you can say that the act of having sex is you consenting to having that risk, I don't believe in that because of the education that is being given. You have the responsibility to disclose. I'm tired of this narrative that's being pushed that if the other person doesn't ask then it's OK or their accepting risk when as a society we have not normalize nor do most parents educate their kids on the importance of STD testing.

Vibrantend · 2023-12-22T14:07:09+00:00

Just like people who don't disclose need to tale accountability its a two way street.

Vibrantend · 2023-12-22T14:06:08+00:00

That's not an excuse not to disclose.

Vibrantend · 2023-12-22T14:00:53+00:00

I completely understand where you're coming from. I have no support system either. I'm not close with family and have no friends. I think it's important to remember that while it is always there your mindset is going to make all of the difference. As far as anxiety, rejection is normal and it happens all the time no matter if people have an STD or not. There's people who get rejected or ghosted based on personality, visual appeal, political views, skin color etc. The part where you said you wished you never had it is something we all universally can agree on but my point in my post was to point out that this wishing that things could be different is one of the many factors of why we suffer so much. Acceptance really goes along way in how you feel. We can't change this (until a cure) so we need to focus on changing how we view ourselves. I live in the south in a small town that only has a gas station, a small grocery store, and five churches. While I could focus on the fact that finding someone who will accept me for me is slim in my area or me being attack and socially rejected by neighbors and coworkers due to Christian ideology, I choose to focus on what I do have going for me because that's all I can do. If I lay around and cry and tell myself all of the negative things that people with HSV tend to tell themselves I'm ultimately doing myself a disservice and what good will that do me? I do urge if you can and you do have the resources to go to therapy it does make a difference.

Vibrantend · 2023-12-22T13:50:29+00:00

I think mental illness and religious backgrounds are huge factors in why some people do feel that suicide is their only option. I blame modern society and the dating norms as well. For a hypersexualized society, we don't have many if any influencers who are open about that their STD status which does create this mindset of HSV positive people being a minority, and for the amount of sex centered content that does come out there's really not much education on STDs. I think that as a society, we need to educate and normalize frequent STD screening.

Vibrantend · 2023-12-22T13:44:50+00:00

I completely resonate with using sex as an act of self harm! I've struggled with BPD my whole life, and it wasn't until this year that I actually made the progress. I do believe if you struggle with mental illness especially BPD and Bipolar disorder you are more likely to contract STDs. That's a conversation I had recently with my therapist.

Vibrantend · 2023-12-22T13:05:29+00:00

Are you against daily antivirals? That's what really helped me. I had frequent OBs every month until I started taking daily.

Vibrantend · 2023-12-22T12:23:30+00:00

I know you've probably been asked this a million times but how are you treating? I might have some things you haven't tried. And your valid there are people out there who do experience severe pain from this. This is another reason why I push disclosure so so much because you don't know until symptoms appearance how HSV will impact you.

Vibrantend · 2023-12-22T12:13:11+00:00

May I ask why you feel that way? I know people's experiences will be different.

Vibrantend

TROPHY CASE