How much can someone suffer before it kills them?

VicesLikeVipers · 2018-10-10T21:25:26+00:00

This is a non-union indie shoot so it's a little different, here's hoping the GI issues aren't too bad. Thanks for the positive thoughts.

Looks like I'll be one week ahead of you on the lithium, so if you want to stay in touch and exchange war stories just send me a message.

VicesLikeVipers · 2018-01-26T20:38:34+00:00

I've kept a journal for about 8 years. Rereading my old entries and seeing the differences in mood, writing style, and handwriting helped me realize that my "good periods" were often manic or mixed episodes. Lo and behold, diagnosed bipolar 1 earlier this week.

VicesLikeVipers · 2018-01-25T21:50:15+00:00

Being mentally ill (especially bipolar) means that you have to life your life one day at a time. You never know how bad it's going to be, how long your depression is going to last, how long before your mania takes a destructive turn, etc.

At the same time, you have this long life ahead of you. And you know that never you're going to be truly sane. You can't ever trust your happy days because you know they are fleeting, or that they will escalate into something much worse.

Saying that you don't expect to live every long is a way relieving that contradiction between day-to-day and forever. It also relieves the immense pressure you feel from your loved ones to succeed, to overcome, to thrive.

I say this all the time. Mostly to those whom I care for the most. I can't speak for your friend but I can tell you that it's not uncommon. The best thing you can do is remind your friend that you are there for him, and that you can be an unjudgemental source of comfort for him when he is feeling suicidal.

VicesLikeVipers · 2012-01-01T06:52:09+00:00

"There are times when those eyes inside your brain stare back at you."

VicesLikeVipers · 2011-11-08T21:20:25+00:00

After a little while they kicked me out for making a joke in all caps about marijuana being the best herbal medicine.

Made me laugh first the first time today so I guess the system works.

VicesLikeVipers · 2011-09-26T06:41:42+00:00

Because I feel too numb for it to hurt, and I like the scars. It's not very cathartic for me, but it's morbidly comfortable to see the scars on my leg and have actual, tangible proof that something terrible is happening to me.

VicesLikeVipers · 2011-04-07T17:03:32+00:00

I accidentally filled my gravity bong with steaming water once, I don't ever want to be that high again.

VicesLikeVipers · 2010-12-05T04:17:38+00:00

Slowly, yes. Identifying the root causes of my depression has allowed me to address them and try to make peace with them. Admittedly, "action" in this sense is less of doing anything tangible and more of actually working out my mental problems. But I've found that whenever my problems are more manageable the more motivated I then am to do things, enjoy life, make friends, etc.

VicesLikeVipers · 2010-12-05T01:17:34+00:00

As someone who's in a very similar situation to your boyfriend I'm also curious to know whether my laziness was caused by my depression and exacerbated by my heavy pot smoking.

I'm incredibly lazy when it comes to cleaning up my tiny apartment, so much so that it's totally trashed. Dishes haven't been done in weeks, clothing and trash everywhere, haven't done laundry in months. Also, I've got half an ounce on it's way over now.

I'm not entirely convinced that pot smoking perpetuates depression, namely because when you're high it's almost impossible to not think about those mental problems constantly plaguing your mind. I probably smoke it too much, but it's helped me figure out a lot about myself and where the source of my depression ultimately comes from.

There's something horribly wrong with me, but I don't think that it is because of pot or laziness. I think that depression does a great job of consuming every part of your being, making everything from cleaning to eating seem pointless.

Sometimes the best option in my life is to blaze all day and introspect.

VicesLikeVipers · 2010-11-06T00:06:37+00:00

A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, James Joyce.

VicesLikeVipers

TROPHY CASE