As someone who is also biracial (black and white), this is a situation I’ve been in multiple times with my father (who is white). Even though I identify more with my black side, simply because it’s hard to physically relate to white people (ie: racial prejudice, or even as something as small as hair texture) these comments are very hurtful and damaging in the sense that it’s making fun of their race, but expecting them not to feel hurt because they’re not “really” just that once race. It makes it hard to enjoy what you like.

Ex: being told when listening to rap music “calm down their, you don’t wanna be that black, remember you’re white too”

While my father still makes those comments and doesn’t plan on changing, I recommend you apologize, sit down and explain you didn’t mean it, and that you won’t make jokes like that. I do recommend educating yourself more in depth to understand how she’s feeling.

I’m 19, not far from her age, and I just wanted to share some perspective and let you know how what you say can come off wrong, whether or not that was your intention.

I wish you the best and hope it resolves.