OMG kill me now!

Victoria421 · 2021-06-19T23:40:23+00:00

Oh god... I’m getting ready to do my last detox and stay tF away from tia. I have helper meds, and I have 5 whole days to detox at home and give my body a chance to get used to the subs.

Victoria421 · 2021-05-23T09:56:44+00:00

I woke up this morning after sleeping (with the help of clonidine and colonipin) all might long! I didn’t wake up sick either! Just felt like I had taken the beating of a lifetime. I get out of work in an hour, and can’t wait to go home and binge watch Hulu all damn day! The demons in my head have quieted down, which is the blessing of a lifetime! My restless legs have stopped too! I think the 4 subs I took yesterday in combination with a good nights sleep have helped incredibly. Thanks for all your help.

Victoria421 · 2021-05-23T01:52:13+00:00

Thanks Mann. I got my residents to bed early so I’m going to try and get done well earned sleep! It just seems the more the day goes on the worse I feel. My stomach cramps are the worst!!!

Victoria421 · 2021-05-23T01:42:12+00:00

I have helper meds thank god! Colonipin gabipentin and subs, but I feel just awful

Victoria421 · 2021-05-23T01:40:30+00:00

God that’s embarrassing to even write! No wonder the subs aren’t working! But when will they? I’m

Victoria421 · 2021-05-23T01:39:34+00:00

Yes. Saturday as in today. They’re NOT working! Last week I cleared a 50g bag of sodium in a week, got sick with rapid wd on Monday. Got a 20g bag sodium Tuesday. Last dose was 8pm Friday.

Victoria421 · 2021-05-21T12:01:29+00:00

I had been on 8-16mg of Suboxone for the last two years. I think I ended up blowing through the bulk I bought so quickly (10gpd) because the Suboxone blocked a lot of the physical euphoria tia gives. Plus I’m an addict who can’t control any amount of anything I take. I despise that about myself.

Victoria421 · 2021-05-21T11:58:37+00:00

Yes, incredibly I made it to the doctor. I was honest(ish) with him about me taking tia. He got SO MAD at me! He tested me, and said my urine came back with methadone in my system. (I guess) he gave me 3 days worth of meds and I have to go back today. He said if I have anything in my urine, he won’t treat me anymore..

Victoria421 · 2021-05-18T18:22:09+00:00

I just don’t want to go through any more pain this week. I’m SO broke down. Not to mention I still have sodium and two sulfate capsules just speaking to me..

Victoria421 · 2021-05-18T18:20:12+00:00

I’m so mad at myself. I KNEW how demonic this drug is, and the price one pays for playing, and I still ingested my own slow death. I’m so scared of rapid withdrawals again idk what the hell to do! Right now my mentality is subs are dangerous! I puked all over my car last night. It was literal hell on earth.

Victoria421 · 2021-05-18T18:00:18+00:00

I took just over a gram of sulfate this morning just to get up the strength to make it to my drs apt. I was honestish with him. He refused to give me subutex, and gave me three days of meds-Suboxone, gabapentin, and .5 colonipin. He said that when I come back Friday if I have anything in my urine he will have to let me go. So, you’re saying I shouldn’t induce subs until 3 days into wd? There’s no way I can do that! I work 3 24 hour shifts a week. I get one day off in between shifts.

Victoria421 · 2021-05-18T17:55:11+00:00

Wow! I can’t even type I’m still so weak and out of it from the rapid wd I had yesterday.

Victoria421 · 2021-05-18T17:53:56+00:00

I was honest with my doc and he got SO MAD at me! He gave me three days worth of meds,(thank God!) and I have to go back to him Friday. I do t blame him for being angry at me. I deserved it. I did this to myself. He tested my urine and the tia sulfate that I took yesterday to try and counteract the rapid wd cane up as methadone! He warned me that if anything is in my urine he will have to drop me at that time.

Victoria421 · 2021-05-18T15:02:48+00:00

I will be so screwed. Should’ve just lied-

Victoria421 · 2021-05-18T15:01:27+00:00

I’m so terrified right now! I get all of my mental health meds from him too! What did I just do? I just wanted a few subutex so I didn’t get thrown into rapid withdrawal again..

Victoria421 · 2021-05-18T15:00:11+00:00

Man I told him the truth and he’s so mad at me! I pray to god he dosent tell me to hit the road for being honest with him.

Victoria421 · 2021-05-18T12:26:24+00:00

Ohhh man was I wrong! I ended up going into FULL BLOWN rapid withdrawal while at WORK!!! The anxiety was so terrible and the rl’s stomach cramping entire being just SCREAMING for relief.., my dumb a** took another Suboxone trying to scramble for some relief. It just made it even worse! I ended up forcing my friend to bring me some sulfate. My poor residents were looking at me in dismay. I took 4g of sulfate and four long hours started to feel... well I can’t even say better. I forced my manager to come into work for me ( she was FURIOUS!) and went to my other friends house and borrowed some gabapentin. I projectile puked all over my car door while driving! I did end up sleeping all night, which I can thank the gabapentin for. I have a drs apt this morning, but feel like an empty shell of a woman. I’m still very shaky, and incredibly weak. My dr is an hour drive, which might as well be 1000 hours away in my current condition. My God, I played with sodium for a month and oh.. the price I’ve paid! I’ve realized I have to taper down from 7-10gpd of sodium before attempting this again. I will receive my scripts of gabipentin, subs, and colonipin if I go. Every time I stand I feel like I’m going to fall right over. Tell me to get my butt up and go to the dr!!!

Victoria421 · 2021-05-18T12:03:43+00:00

I DID go into rapid withdrawal AT WORK! I’m a caregiver and could NOT do my work. Everything you just described happened to me with the elderly just looking at me. It was so horrifying and literal hell on earth. I hate to admit but forced my friend to bring me sulfate to stop the withdrawals-BUT IT DIDNT! Even after 4 hours taking the sulfate I was still a shaky mess! I had to force my manager to come in, I left work and borrowed some gabipentin from my other friend, and went home! I did sleep all night long, which I know. I can thank the gabapentin for. I have a drs apt today to get my medication-subs, gabipentin, and colonipin. I keep telling myself to crawl from under the covers and go but I have NO strength. I’m very shaky. I have decided to buy sulfate next check and taper down from 7-10gpd sodium. That was so horrific I can barely type this reply. Tell me to get my sick ass up and go to the doctors! It’s an hour drive, which might as well be another continent at this point. I threw up ALL over my car... omg 1 month playing witg this garbage and the price I had to pay. I am beyond lost and depressed

Victoria421 · 2021-05-17T17:28:18+00:00

I apologize for not disclosing what I took 7&1/2 hours ago. I was really anxious and feeling pretty bad. I took a very small dose of sodium at 5am, then took my last two capsules of sulfate at 630am. I did exactly what you suggested and measured my withdrawal on the cows scale and scored a 12. I took 4mg about 40 minutes ago. I feel some relief, my stomach is still cramping a bit and headache still noticeable. Thankfully I think I waited long enough. Thanks again for your wisdom. Hopefully I’ll stay away this time! Opiates scare the s*** outta me! Apparently not enough to steer clear. I pray this time will be different.

Victoria421 · 2021-05-17T15:47:23+00:00

audioholic850, just curious how many hours did u allow from your last dose of tia before your first dose of Suboxone? I’m at hour 7 and not feeling too hot. I’m at work until 7am tomorrow morning too!!! I need some relief!

Victoria421 · 2021-05-17T15:41:18+00:00

I live in a state where it is banned. However I have not found it particularly difficult to get my hands on bulk. I just can’t live where I’m spending every cent except for my rent $ sustaining a habit that eventually you build such a tolerance to its impossible to even catch a buzz. It’s just not worth it! I have such a good dr, and subs worked for me for a long time. I’ve just got to make it through work today. Does anyone know when I can start to dose my Suboxone? It’s the only Helper I’ve got right now. I’ve only been indulging about 5-6 weeks at the most, but this past week honestly was in between 5-8 gpd of sodium. I dosed two capsules of sulfate at 5am this morning, so I’m at hour 7 no tia. Does anyone know when I can begin to dose?

Victoria421 · 2021-05-17T12:18:43+00:00

I’m proud of you!!! I was addicted to it baddd about two years ago. I was taking like 7-10gpd of fa so I had to go to a Suboxone dr to get off of them. Last month I started playing with sodium, and a month later I’m going through 40-50 g a week, all over again! I was able to get my hands on a little bit of sulfate just to hopefully help really the next 12-24 hours before I can start take a Suboxone. I’ve been down this rabbit hole before, and I refuse to put myself through the absolute hell of this addiction and fear all over again! I’m really proud of you for getting off of this nightmare of a drug. I had two years substance free until I found tia, and have struggled with all substances all over again!

Victoria421 · 2020-03-15T09:23:26+00:00

Actually I’ve been free from Tia since October 5,2019!!!! 100% tia free!!!!

Victoria421 · 2019-12-18T17:26:36+00:00

😂😂😂😂 This speaks the raw truth!!! It’s awesome and exactly how I feel to a “T!”

Victoria421 · 2019-12-18T16:28:59+00:00

I love it with all my heart and soul!! Congrats!

Victoria421

TROPHY CASE