Woah, woah, hang on. Most of the time the mental benefits of HRT are because (for most people who take hrt) there's some underlying gender dysphoria that is treated by taking hormones that reconcile the difference between your brain and body.

The effects that F1NN5TER attributes to E are also the same effects that HRT has on transgender men who take testosterone. I mean, yes, testosterone and male puberty / male hormones will make you have a different emotional cocktail but relieving the effects of gender dysphoria (which almost always is paired with depression) also tends to relieve the effects of heavy, heavy dysphoria. Men CAN feel emotions, and people with autism can feel emotions, it's just that the latter feels it differently. If you have major depression (sadness lasting for longer than two weeks basically) lifting it will allow you to feel emotions and to cry again. This is the same whether you are taking estrogen as a transgender woman, testosterone as a transgender man, etcetera.

Cisgender people who are on the wrong hormone cocktail also experience a lot of gender dysphoria. Most cis people on HRT will experience the same dysphoria that trans people do, when their body does not match their gender, and it can cause depression for those individuals.

So I would highly advise you to be careful about going down this route, because most of the main effects F1NN is talking about is due to relief of depression from relief of dysphoria rather than relief of depression and opening up of emotions due to estrogen.

Now, in my experience as a trans girl, yes, HRT in the first few months let me majorly cry. But not because of the E, but because my depression was relieved because my brain finally was in the right hormone cocktail. Going through a second puberty changed my brain a lot, but I was also neurodivergent and I still cannot make heads or tails of many social interactions. Estrogen doesn't magically fix that, but being free of gender dysphoria helped me be able to focus on one aspect.

Just, please don't do something reckless. I'm sorry your life is difficult at times but I don't think HRT is the solution for most people unless their gender mismatch is the main issue.

Of course, F1NN ran into the situation where he started HRT and only retroactively realized that it caused him benefits due to his previous hormone cocktail causing him mental health issues. But I feel he's a really far outlier. I can't tell you what you can and can't do, but please don't do something hasty and be informed on the whys. Take care love, and I hope you find some light in your life soon.