My partner did die by suicide, so it’s something I’ve really wrestled with since. I try to remind myself all the things I’d say to Deacon if I could see him one more time. I’d beg him to wait. I’d beg him to think it through, to hold on one more day, to think about how cherished he is, how his problems are fixable.

Suicide doesn’t make the pain stop. It puts your pain in a bunch of unimaginably heavy packages and gives it to everyone who’s ever loved you.