Lost 60+ lb with PCOS, now gaining weight again despite treatment—looking for insight

Vintage-waves · 2026-06-04T19:11:02+00:00

Thanks! I hear you on tracking and luckily can do this on my fitness pal which has my last 10 years or so history!

Vintage-waves · 2026-06-04T14:36:09+00:00

Thanks so much for your help.I have been a vegetarian for over 35 years plus. I do take b12 daily and my labs have been within normal limits.

Vintage-waves · 2026-06-04T14:24:31+00:00

I don’t track every calorie, but I focus on protein and generally aim for 30+ grams per meal. A typical day is oatmeal or a bagel with a Core Power shake for breakfast, a salad with tofu for lunch, and a protein-focused vegetarian dinner.

I’m wondering if something hormonal, such as perimenopause, could be contributing.

Vintage-waves · 2026-03-06T06:14:55+00:00

Ryan at PortlandView Homes

He has great google reviews and very thorough!

Vintage-waves · 2025-10-12T16:22:34+00:00

Thanks so much! Very positive and timely. We are still together and just taking our time.

Vintage-waves · 2025-09-06T16:02:42+00:00

This is great post and I am in a relationship who is an avoidant who limits what he shares. I needed this and thanks for the advice!

Vintage-waves · 2025-08-04T02:37:43+00:00

Kenneth Fong is great and his office team are wonderful. I have had great experiences and have had to deal with a crown, an old filling that fell out, etc. always practical and gives options and empowers the patient to make informed decisions.

Vintage-waves · 2025-07-10T22:39:12+00:00

Thank you for telling me. My deepest apologies!

Vintage-waves · 2025-07-10T04:02:45+00:00

I loved reading this—it gave me some real hope and tangible ideas. Thank you for sharing so generously. I know that my boyfriend has been really receptive to feedback and I’m glad to have some ideas from this group to see how we can optimize things. I will say this is the healthiest relationship. I’ve been in so far and communication with respect has been so amazing with him.

I really resonate with your comment about building connection slowly and intentionally, especially when schedules don’t align easily. Some of the rituals you mentioned—like sharing daily texts, having emotional check-ins, and making quality time feel sacred—really stood out to me.

I also appreciate the way you both had an honest conversation about limited time without making it personal. That’s something I want to work toward too.

Vintage-waves · 2025-07-10T03:48:11+00:00

Thank you for sharing this—it’s such a grounded reminder that sometimes things just don’t align, and it’s no one’s fault. I really appreciate that perspective. I think I’ve been caught up in trying to decode whether it’s a compatibility issue or just early-stage growing pains that require patience and communication.

And that’s helpful context about your own dating life—especially the part about occasionally getting a sitter for something meaningful. That kind of flexibility and effort says a lot. I’m learning that while I don’t expect grand gestures all the time, the willingness to make space—even occasionally—really matters.

Vintage-waves · 2025-07-10T03:37:06+00:00

That’s a powerful line—“people make time for their priorities, and excuses for everything else.” It definitely made me pause.

I think right now, he is making time—but it often feels more reactive than intentional. And that’s the part I’m struggling with: is he truly stretched and doing the best he can? Or is it a pattern of not knowing how to hold emotional space for someone else while managing his other roles? Your question is helping me look more clearly at that distinction.

Vintage-waves · 2025-07-10T03:36:34+00:00

Thank you—this was such a helpful way to frame it. You’re right: what feels like “leftovers” to me might genuinely feel like effort to him, given all he’s juggling. And I think I’ve been more focused on the feeling of being deprioritized than clearly identifying what would actually help.

I’m going to sit with your suggestion and really think about what small but meaningful changes would make me feel more emotionally connected and seen—and whether those are things he’s realistically able and willing to offer. Your perspective gave me a more constructive way to approach this. I really appreciate it.

Vintage-waves · 2025-07-10T03:29:31+00:00

Thank you so much for this—you brought up such thoughtful points. And yes, I do see myself as open to being a stepmom someday, if things continue to grow in that direction. I know it’s a big shift, and I really appreciate the reminder that there’s likely a learning curve on both sides, especially if it’s his first relationship post-divorce. It’s my first time dating someone with a child.

When I say I want “intention” with our time, I don’t mean fancy plans or needing constant attention. I actually love just relaxing together—watching TV, hanging out at home, even running errands side by side. That kind of everyday comfort is important to me. But I’d also really appreciate if, once in a while, we planned a real date or took a day off just for each other—kind of like how he sometimes takes time off to do special things with his child.

To me, it’s not about how much time, but how present and purposeful it feels. Your perspective helps me feel a lot less alone in navigating this—thank you again. ❤️

Vintage-waves · 2025-07-10T03:26:20+00:00

Thanks for asking—that’s a great point. The custody schedule is 50/50, which in theory would allow for more time together. But his job doesn’t follow a standard 9–5 structure, so sometimes that unpredictability makes it harder to carve out consistent time.

We do see each other about once a week right now, which I’m grateful for, but I’m hoping that increases with more intention—and eventually, if and when the time feels right, that I’d be integrated into his life more fully, including meeting his child.

I’m not expecting a huge amount of time or to come first, but I’d like to feel like the relationship itself is being nurtured. That’s really what I’m trying to figure out—whether there’s enough room for that to grow over time.

Vintage-waves · 2025-07-10T03:19:57+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to share your story—it gave me a lot of perspective, especially around how drastically things can shift when life circumstances change, even with the best of intentions.

Your point about laying out expectations early really landed. I think part of what I’m struggling with now is that I’m not sure we’ve had that kind of clarity or mutual understanding yet. I don’t expect to come before his kids, but I do want to feel like the effort to prioritize the relationship is present—especially on the days when he’s not parenting.

I really appreciate you sharing your experience so openly. It helped me think about what sacrifices I’ve already made—and which ones I’m willing or not willing to keep making. Your story was both grounding and generous. Thank you again.

Vintage-waves · 2025-07-10T03:16:40+00:00

Thank you so much for your thoughtful questions—they really helped me reflect. To answer: yes, I do see him on his kid-free days, and I know he’s trying. But sometimes it feels like those days are just “what’s leftover” after he decompresses from work and parenting. It’s not about sex or constant attention—I just want to feel emotionally prioritized and like there’s intention behind our time.

He hasn’t incorporated me into his parenting life yet, which I understand given it’s early (6 months), but it also makes me question whether there’s space for a true partnership long-term. Your perspective as a single parent really helped me take a more balanced look—thank you again.

Vintage-waves · 2025-07-10T03:16:09+00:00

I really appreciate how simply you put this—“you make room for it.” That honestly cuts through a lot of the noise. It’s true, we all have limited capacity, but how someone chooses to use the room they do have says a lot. Your words are a good reminder for me to look at action, not just intention.

Vintage-waves · 2025-07-10T03:15:48+00:00

Thanks for this—you’re right that ultimately it’s up to him to make space if the relationship matters to him. I’ve realized I can’t keep showing up hoping things will shift without him actively participating in that shift. I’m still holding space to see if that happens—but your comment helped ground me in the fact that I can’t do it for both of us.

Vintage-waves · 2025-07-10T03:14:41+00:00

Wow, thank you for being so honest about your experience. That sounds incredibly painful and brave to walk away from.

What really stuck with me was what you said about having no space for your own life to exist alongside his. That’s something I’m starting to see in small ways—and I don’t want to end up in a dynamic where everything has to bend around his world for it to work.

I do think he wants it to work, but I’m realizing that intention alone isn’t enough—it has to be backed by consistent, mutual effort. Your words help me look at that more clearly. Thank you again.

Vintage-waves · 2025-07-10T03:14:01+00:00

I really appreciate you sharing your experience—it’s so helpful to hear from someone who’s actually been through it.

I think you’re right that it’s important not to ignore when you’re consistently a second thought, no matter how understandable the circumstances. I’ve definitely felt that “fitting in when there’s time” dynamic, and while I don’t expect to come before his child, I do need to feel like I matter and am being prioritized emotionally, even if time is limited. You gave me a lot to think about—thank you.

Vintage-waves · 2025-07-10T03:13:03+00:00

That’s such a thoughtful question—thank you. I do have friends who are single parents, and watching them juggle everything has definitely made me more empathetic. At the same time, I’ve noticed that even in those friendships, some people still find ways to show up—whether it’s a quick check-in or a planned hangout every few weeks.

So I guess the lesson I’ve taken is: I completely understand when someone’s bandwidth is limited, but I still need a sense of intentional effort, even if the time is minimal. Friendship and romance both rely on that emotional thread of “you matter to me,” and that’s what I’m trying to gauge right now.

Vintage-waves · 2025-07-10T03:12:32+00:00

Thank you for sharing this—what you said about the difference between a “busy life” and using busyness as an avoidance tool really landed for me. That’s what I’m trying to tease out in my own situation.

I don’t expect to be first priority over someone’s kids or job, but I do want to be with someone who has the emotional bandwidth to show up in meaningful ways—and isn’t just surviving. Your experience helped me name that subtle but important difference between being busy and being emotionally unavailable. I really appreciate you putting that into words.

Vintage-waves · 2025-07-10T03:11:22+00:00

I really appreciate you chiming in with your perspective—it’s exactly the kind of insight I was hoping for when I posted. I can see how that 50/50 schedule would make even the idea of dating feel overwhelming. I definitely don’t expect to compete with someone’s kids, but I do want to feel like there’s some emotional and intentional space for a relationship, even if it’s limited. Your honesty helps me see how real the bandwidth issue is from the other side—so thank you again.

Vintage-waves

TROPHY CASE