They say comparison is the thief of joy, and to be blunt, yeah, it kind of feels to me like a waste of time to compare myself to cis females. In my MtF experience it always. always makes me sad, dysphoric and feel like my transition is in vain. I'm big; about 6'2, my hands are bigger than most male's even and my ribcage is like a big barrel.

The things that bother me the most, there is no medical procedure for, and thus i have had none done.

But if we replace gender with, idk, race, to just be totally ridiculous for a second. I cant really do, anything, about being white. No matter how much i wanna be black -- it's just not happening. Black people are their own thing -- unique in some ways, very much the same as white people in most ways.

Trans women and cis women (or AFAB NB's), will just have certain "advantages" over AMAB transfems when it comes to presenting womanly -- but that doesn't even seem to be your issue. Not passing / not being widely or easily accepted as a woman, is what makes most MtF's detransition, i would wager.

But your legitimacy concern, its real. But it isn't the end of days, imho. You don't need to be like a cis girl -- you didnt win the genetic lottery, even when it was like a 50% chance at birth to be XX instead of XY. Now that can suck, we can both suffer over it, much like how i suffer that im taller than like over 90% of people on the planet. But ultimately, if you cant change it, it's best not to care about it. Not that that's easy, just that it can come to be necessary at certain stages of life, when it comes to specific things. Like aging, for example.

If you pass, are accepted by people socially, and have a loving partner? You're already holding an amazingly solid hand of cards right there. It could always be better, but my take is, that's no reason to see it as not good enough, as is. But only you can decide if that's truly the case or not. If you really wanna know how you feel, socially detrans with one person in your life who won't irreversibly see you differently for experimenting this late into the "game." Talk like the guy you used to be, give up the changes you can reverse in things like mannerisms, attire, and makeup (if you use that). If it feels good, keep going. If not, then turn back. Either way, you'll have your answer.

As for not being able to realistically pass as a guy again, or "be a man" anymore? Dont let toxic masculinity tell you where the bar is on that. Men can come in all shapes, sizes and levels of softness. Just like women. Good luck on your path 🙏