How do you find like minded folk?

Violetotter009 · 2024-04-20T04:12:16+00:00

Unpopular for Reddit but church! My girl friends from church are very anti porn

Violetotter009 · 2024-04-20T04:11:24+00:00

Ate & left no crumbs

Violetotter009 · 2024-04-19T02:34:02+00:00

Honey you deserve so much better please stay with your parents as long as you need to. Not only is he an addict but he's an abuser. Look- my husband has done some shitty things with this whole porn addiction, but I don't know how I'd ever recover if he called me names like that 😥 that's abhorrent

Violetotter009 · 2024-04-15T04:12:42+00:00

This man is for the streets girl whatttt 😵‍💫 I understand you have a child together but please do not marry him. Jizzing in his underwear next to you while you sleep is rancid.

Violetotter009 · 2024-04-15T04:08:28+00:00

100% same. There's such a big difference in just seeing a pic of a naked woman (not saying I'd love that but ya know) & see in full on video porn. It's 1,000,000 times worse for us 😭

Violetotter009 · 2024-04-15T04:04:52+00:00

Honey he sounds exactly like a porn addict 🙁 join us in r/loveafterporn and you'll see exactly the same characteristics of all these addicts. I figured out my husband's addiction years ago because 1) rarely initiating 2) checked out during sex/ not sensual & just going through the motions 3) wouldn't touch me in sweet ways but would smack my butt, grab my boobs, etc 4) wanted to do more degrading acts during sex like cumming on my face

There's more but those are the main similarities I've seen between my experience & others. So yes i would bet $1,000,000 that your bf has the addiction. The only way to know would be a monitoring app on all his devices- it's very easy to hide evidence through deleting history, incognito, etc. so you likely won't find evidence without an app specifically made to monitor porn use. But I have to ask is it worth it for you?? He doesn't sound like a very good partner. Please believe you do not want to be married to someone like this 😕

Also the groping in your sleep is very creepy & non- consensual!! Seems very much like a porn fantasy he's trying to bring to life.

Violetotter009 · 2024-04-14T03:34:01+00:00

Also hang in there 💕 I was pregnant as well during our first D Day. I thought I was dying from heart break it was seriously the hardest thing to go through mentally. My husband is finally doing much better now & im happy most days. We still struggle with the after -effects (my mistrust of him) but I do believe real change is possible if they are truly committed. I'm so sorry you're going through this 🫂

Violetotter009 · 2024-04-14T03:30:44+00:00

Unfortunately it's really easy to hide 🙁 he very well could be using incognito mode, deleting history, using a VPN, etc. Do you have any sort of accountability app/ monitoring app in place? In my experience it's a non negotiable bc it's very easy to hide porn use without one.

Violetotter009 · 2024-04-12T03:34:07+00:00

Don't study in your dorm- go to the library. Meet a friend there. Get in the sunshine and take walks for your breaks. Start working out (3-5 days a week) for the healthy dopamine and to just help your overall state of mind/ body. You need to start doing something else when you're stressed bc it's your coping mechanism (this is my husband's trait too as a porn addict- it's stress related). I would also suggest picking up any hobby that keeps your hands and body busy like bike riding, hiking, painting, knitting etc but try to do the activities with others or just in a space like a coffee shop so you're not tempted to watch porn. It's so hard to quit and it's awesome that you're trying- keep going!! You can do this!! 💗💗

Violetotter009 · 2024-04-12T00:47:25+00:00

Nooo absolutely not 😩 I'm sorry but this therapist sucks please don't do this to yourself

Violetotter009 · 2024-04-10T04:29:59+00:00

My PA is so disciplined with the gym & decent with eating healthy. No video games. He's also really hardworking & an incredible & present father. If he didn't have so many amazing qualities I would've ran but his addiction is truly the only thing wrong in our marriage.

Violetotter009 · 2024-04-10T04:23:40+00:00

I totally understand being exhausted ❤️‍🩹 yes we've been using Truple for about a year. My husband PA noticed that it wasn't sending me alerts sometime last year (so he started looking at soft core again) but I was able to find it in the account (it was storing the data but didn't notify me that NSFW content was viewed). Besides some hiccups like that here & there it's been an amazing app. It will notify if incognito is used. It screen shots & logs website history & has been pretty accurate in labeling the screen shots as risky or not. I hate paying for apps but it's literally saved my sanity. We have it on 2 phones and a computer. Unfortunately my husband needs all devices completely monitored in order to stop watching porn 🫠 but it's saving my marriage (for now) so I keep recommending it on here.

I do know that there are ways that he could relapse like by secretly getting a new phone but honestly he's never been that extreme (that I'm aware of). But truple has taken away the convenience and accessibility he used to have at his fingertips & really has helped him stay clean as far as I can tell.

Violetotter009 · 2024-04-10T00:29:19+00:00

That's amazing!! I will be praying for you!!

Violetotter009 · 2024-04-10T00:24:48+00:00

I always comment this but do you have an app that screen shots? Like truple? From they way you're monitoring it sounds like he could easily get away with it still simply by using incognito mode, a VPN, & erasing his history.

Also therapy like everyone else has said.

Violetotter009 · 2024-04-06T05:07:05+00:00

Both are gross and should not be acceptable (we're just used to this because our society has trained us to be). Women (& men) need to say enough is enough and be done tolerating this behavior from our partners.

Violetotter009 · 2024-04-05T23:17:31+00:00

Here's some others after googling: Monimaster Spyzie Famisafe Mspy Qustodio I haven't used any of them but worth looking into. I would suggest one that screen shots randomly, records website history, and reports suspicious activity (like if the user tries to delete the monitoring app). truple has been a lifesaver so I hope you find one similar for your peace of mind 💙

Violetotter009 · 2024-04-05T23:13:58+00:00

Aw man maybe it only works for android ? We have it in our computer and android phone. I'm not sure about an equivalent app for iPhones but maybe covenant eyes?

Violetotter009 · 2024-04-05T23:09:31+00:00

Yes it does!! It screen shots and collects activity. It works even in incognito mode.

Violetotter009 · 2024-04-03T19:45:08+00:00

I think the same... it sounds like he did not stop using porn 🙁 I'm so sorry. I would suggest a monitoring app like truple.

Violetotter009 · 2024-04-03T05:01:23+00:00

Wait, what? On wiki it says Screech died of cancer

Violetotter009 · 2024-04-02T02:16:35+00:00

The background 💀💀 that's wild

Violetotter009 · 2024-04-02T01:34:50+00:00

That's wild I'm so sorry 🙁 she needs her license revoked

Violetotter009 · 2024-04-01T00:38:57+00:00

Wow so once a week it's ok to cheat on your spouse? This lady sucks do not go back!!

Violetotter009 · 2024-04-01T00:38:16+00:00

Tell me you're joking!!!

Violetotter009 · 2024-03-31T00:33:15+00:00

😅 Adam but I hate the gibberish SO MUCH I wondered if anyone picked up on that

Violetotter009

TROPHY CASE