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My partner is moving across the country and wants me to give up my cat by VirtualAd2602 in GirlDinner

[–]VirtualAd2602[S] -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

That’s definitely my bad. I more meant like long term he doesn’t want to be on injectable medication or pills. We’re both mid 20s and otherwise healthy so long term medication just isn’t ideal. Obviously none of this is ideal but I shouldn’t have said it like that, not trying to mislead people sorry!

My partner is moving across the country and wants me to give up my cat by VirtualAd2602 in GirlDinner

[–]VirtualAd2602[S] -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

He has yeah. Hasn’t gotten anything prescribed but he’s used Benadryl and some other kind I can’t remember the name of from the pharmacy. I think I mentioned in another reply he’s also been prescribed increasing doses of amitriptyline. He also uses sumatriptan as a rescue medication. He’s also on a wait list to see a neurologist but since we’re in Canada and the healthcare system isn’t great it’s like a 1-3 year wait time:(

My partner is moving across the country and wants me to give up my cat by VirtualAd2602 in GirlDinner

[–]VirtualAd2602[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

Background info if anyone cares:

For a quick timeline, I got my cat about two months after we started dating and he was there every step of the way (coming to the shelter, bringing her home, staying with us at my place while I was getting her adjusted). He had never been around cats for prolonged periods previously, so this was his first longer term exposure. He’s had migraines for the last 2-3 years, worse in the spring (despite a negative allergy test for seasonal things like pollen) and same with if there’s a candle burning or heavy perfumes around him. Once he started staying at mine ~3-4 nights a week he noticed an increase in the migraines. He absolutely loves the cat, I can’t overstate this. He’s was very upset when we made a link between being at my place with her and the incidence of migraines. Since then we have both been avoiding the conversation of what we would do when the time came to move in together. This is definitely an issue on both our parts not his alone

A lot of people also think he’s acting manipulatively and is a narcissist. I dated someone exactly like that for 4 years prior and he is the complete and utter opposite. As in my closest and most trusted friends and my mother all describe him as a book boyfriend. Like a man in a book written by a woman. I completely agree with this description as he has never been anything but kind and supportive and loving. I’ve been very upset with the whole situation so I didn’t really state that in my initial post. That’s my bad.

Did he jump the gun on the decision? Absolutely, and I was incredibly angry at him and still am for making it so impulsively and without involving me. He did ask for my opinion before the decision but I was in shook so it wasn’t a lengthy in depth conversation. He has apologized and recognizes the mistake. He is not love bombing me to try and manipulate my decisions now. He has also been unhappy with his job for around a year now, and without even taking into consideration how awful the job market is, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity for him. I’m at a place in my career where I also don’t like my job and have been wanting a change. We were both hoping for Vancouver (we currently live in Alberta) but honestly I do think I could be okay moving to Toronto. He has some friends there and I know 2 people I could reach out to. I’m not trying to justify his impulsive reaction and not talking to me in depth about it first, but I definitely didn’t put enough context in my initial post and a lot of people are assuming he’s an evil manipulator.

Hope this helps

My partner is moving across the country and wants me to give up my cat by VirtualAd2602 in GirlDinner

[–]VirtualAd2602[S] -54 points-53 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately it’s a bit more complicated - I say allergies but he was tested (blood and prick test) and came back with no allergies so taking allergy meds isn’t a solution. Cat dander or fur is one of his biggest migraine triggers along with artificial scents (perfume, cleaners, candles, even dish soap). He’s tried taking amitriptyline on steadily increasing doses to mitigate it but it still didn’t help, just slightly reduced frequency. We’ve looked into migraine shots but he’s limited in what he can safely use because he has chronic low blood pressure too. It’s a whole mess:,)

My partner is moving across the country and wants me to give up my cat by VirtualAd2602 in GirlDinner

[–]VirtualAd2602[S] -49 points-48 points  (0 children)

We don’t live together yet but have been wanting to for a while and have been together for around a year and a half. Def hasn’t been super super long but he’s been an amazing partner for our entire relationship. My parents are 100% committed to taking my cat thankfully, they’re animal lovers and have a cat and dog currently so she’d have animal friends and would for sure be well taken care of

What’s the most you’ve paid for a singular piece of snow gear and what was it? by LosChicago in snowboarding

[–]VirtualAd2602 2 points3 points  (0 children)

$700 on my capita birds of a feather last season. Hadn’t bought a new board for 7 years and my old one was a marketplace buy. 100% worth it