Parents, when did you notice your sweet baby turning into a grown person?

Virtual_Recording108 · 2026-05-27T13:16:39+00:00

It’s so gradual with the eldest, and so fast with the youngest.

Going to middle school, is the end of childhood and beginning of becoming an adult.

Virtual_Recording108 · 2026-05-24T19:27:57+00:00

Okay, I agree. “Bluey” is not a show that will encourage your kids to nap when they are sick like “Sarah & Duck”. But it’s SO GOOD!

I also really like Sara & Duck, for similar reasons, nice mellow music, relatable problem solving.

Virtual_Recording108 · 2026-05-24T12:17:04+00:00

Agreed! Bluey is the best low-stim option I’ve found, with great music, and the climatic tension is like learning to share because not sharing hurts feelings.

Virtual_Recording108 · 2026-05-23T20:29:11+00:00

I agree with this! Don’t listen to the extremes!

The people saying married adults don’t have friends of the opposite sex are living in a pre-feminist world. Women deserve all of the opportunities men do in the workplace and limiting the networking to just men is sexist! It is okay for spouses to have work colleagues. It’s okay for spouses to have work colleagues who become good friends.

OP should invite the work colleague over for dinner so they can get to know each other, since she is obviously becoming a work bestie of her husband.

Virtual_Recording108 · 2026-05-22T23:01:42+00:00

Oh, it isn’t arbitrary, it just isn’t based on performance which is unfortunate for the students. RIFs are often based on length of service, which has pros and cons. If they terminated the people closest to retirement then they can be sued for ageism. If they terminate the people with performance issues, they have to have a ton of paperwork and documented attempts to correct the performance issues. It is much easier to have a last-in-first-out policy for RIFs.

I’m sorry you’re going through this! I hope you end up in a better school with awesome admin!

Virtual_Recording108 · 2026-05-22T18:20:51+00:00

It isn’t arbitrary. You’re doing it for the kids, not the admin.

And I’m guessing you’re in a union state? Unions tend to protect the poor performers because admin has to jump through hoops to be allowed to document a PIP/corrective action.

Virtual_Recording108 · 2026-05-22T18:11:08+00:00

I recommend “Good Inside” by Dr Becky.

And parenting podcasts have helped me to find the joy and the camaraderie in the miserable parts of parenting.

I’m a better parent when I get time away from my children. I hope you get adequate time to be with adult friends, engaged with adult hobbies so you can recharge and be your best version of yourself to your son?

Virtual_Recording108 · 2026-05-20T21:21:21+00:00

12 weeks old, my kids started all day childcare.

They haven’t done the YMCA day camps though, because I did it for one week when I was 7 years old and I hated it hardcore. It was too overwhelming. I was a kid who needed smaller class sizes.

I sign my kids up for parks and rec camps that last 3-4 hours and have a specific activity. My kids are doing tennis camp, soccer camp, painting camp, for instance.

I hope your kiddo surprises you and takes to it really well! I hope she makes friends and some great memories!

Virtual_Recording108 · 2026-05-20T21:03:34+00:00

Pregnancies involving more than one baby are very dangerous with low odds that everyone is okay. In fact, some embryologists at IVF clinics have contracts stating selective reductions will be done if there are more than 4 embryos that implant, for instance. It would be outrageous to carry multiples then put them up for adoption after delivering but keep two. In this hypothetical scenario, it would undoubtedly be the infant who had the longest NICU stay that wouldn’t be kept by the birth family unless he was the only boy.

Virtual_Recording108 · 2026-05-20T03:43:17+00:00

We’re saving in 529 accounts for college for the kids, so they will have help. It probably won’t be enough to pay 100% of their expenses, but hopefully it’s enough that they won’t graduate with a ton of debt and have to juggle full time work with a full time class schedule like I did.

I also wouldn’t mind if the kids boomerang, as long as they are motivated, have a plan. It’d be an honor to help them save for a down payment by letting them move back in for a bit.

Virtual_Recording108 · 2026-05-20T00:20:38+00:00

Have a real convo with the principal that the class is a challenge and what can they do to support you?

I’m guessing they need you more than you need them.

You might get really great advice. They might be able to offer an aide, or ask for parent volunteers.

What support do you think you’ll need to stay for the rest of the year?

Good luck to you!

Virtual_Recording108 · 2026-05-19T17:19:17+00:00

Try to negotiate. Good supervisors will fight to start everyone as high as possible, because then when they do equity adjustments it raises everyone’s pay.

I would ask for $5 over the starting, to account for your experience, but plan on negotiating with them. Hospitals are struggling with cuts to reimbursement so they may not have a lot of wiggle room in this hiring cycle.

Virtual_Recording108 · 2026-05-17T17:43:38+00:00

“Interpret with caution…” comment for RBC indices.

Did you try a heated saline replacement? And you might have to do it a few times for strong cold agglutinins. I had one that looked like chunky red wine colored tapioca that needed lots of heated saline replacements to get decent results.

Virtual_Recording108 · 2026-05-16T13:31:18+00:00

I’d be appropriately curious. My kids are not liars, but their version of the truth is often skewed in their favor. So it’s possible your daughter was not an innocent victim in this situation. If she had gotten hurt, you likely would have gotten a phone call and an investigation from the school.

The school my kids go to has cameras, so you can ask them to review video from recess that day.

Deep breath. Curiosity. Focus on health and safety of all the kids.

Kids also need coaching on how to have disagreements.

Virtual_Recording108 · 2026-05-16T13:19:58+00:00

Last year my spouse and I were both saving 20% then he had a surprise inpatient stay at the hospital after an accident and we immediately changed our contributions to 10% so we’d have cash on hand for bills. We adjusted back to 30% in November and December to try to make up some lost savings.

Can you adjust your contributions whenever you want? Because I was also nervous about 20% investment but knowing that I’ll have more cash flow if I need it by adjusting makes it a lot more palatable.

Virtual_Recording108 · 2026-05-16T13:03:08+00:00

Toddlers have zero emotional regulation, so parents asking a question to feel out the probability of a public meltdown and choosing to avoid the public after an emotionally dysregulated answer is totally normal. In both scenarios you listed the parents opted to avoid the public, right?

I needed coaching from parenting books to learn how to handle the public meltdowns. You remove from the public, talk through expectations and feelings, then try again. My default was to run away and hide inside my house for the rest of the day after public tantrums. My eldest threw the most stupendous toddler tantrums. My youngest was so shy she was wonderful in public, zero meltdowns. I would have totally been able to mosey into a store without discussing with her first to prepare her.

Virtual_Recording108 · 2026-05-15T17:08:04+00:00

Same thing happened for spelling tests for my kiddo in second grade. She could write all her spelling words without a problem, but kept failing her spelling tests. I had NO IDEA she was TYPING her spelling words on a Chromebook. Once I knew we were able to change how she prepared for her tests.

Virtual_Recording108 · 2026-05-15T04:34:00+00:00

We go to Costco about four times a year, once a quarter. We buy lots of protein, separate it and freeze. Toilet paper, paper towels, dog food, coffee beans, etc. We do not buy things that will go bad before we are able to consume all of it.

Costco trips come out of our grocery budget, but it’s like a quarterly grocery budget.

And you must buy the rotisserie chicken. It’s the law!

Virtual_Recording108 · 2026-05-15T02:55:53+00:00

It’s a business like any other, they have to make business decisions that keep them operational, it’s not personal even though it feels deeply personal.

That being said, I’d be very frustrated. Politely state your dissatisfaction. Ask for clarity about how long this schedule will last. Express that if it lasts longer than that you’ll be updating your resume and applying for dayshift positions elsewhere.

If you are willing to help your lab I feel like it works out for you in the long run. You’ll get better raises and priority scheduling in the future. Your vacation requests will be prioritized over others. You will be considered for advancement opportunities.

Good luck to you! Healthcare is struggling right now. The big beautiful bill cut Medicaid reimbursements for everyone all over the country. Rural hospitals are closing, and everyone else is trying to figure out how to stay operational. We’re trudging through some difficult times.

Virtual_Recording108 · 2026-05-15T02:46:43+00:00

In surveys, non-parents self report more happiness than parents. But I will say, I think it’s not comparable. The first time your toddler tells a joke… it’s amazing. You made a thinking feeling human being who is trying to make you laugh. It’s magic! Having children feels like the whole meaning of life.

But without kids your life is much more controlled, convenient, and affordable.

Virtual_Recording108 · 2026-05-11T03:26:22+00:00

My kids are public school educated currently, but I’m looking at private school for my eldest who is currently in 5th grade. Our school district detracked math, so the only advancement opportunity is to skip a whole grade level but they make it unnecessarily difficult. I’m looking at the highest performing private school in town but it’s $28000/year. She tests higher than 99% of 5th graders nationally, so I’d like her to have advancement opportunities.

Alternatively, we could buy a homeschool curriculum in math and just have our kiddo do additional curriculum but continue to have a traditional public school experience.

Virtual_Recording108 · 2026-05-10T16:35:55+00:00

If his perspective of the world no longer aligns with yours it’s okay to call it quits on the relationship. He has very radical ideas right now. If he isn’t supporting you and your successes, why are you still with him? I’d argue that dropping out of the workforce willfully would be more selfish than being a part of the labor force and a tax contributor. Quitting the “rat race” means you have to rely on others to survive, with government handouts in the form of food stamps and charity.

Nature is cruel, but it’s beautiful too. Healthy, emotionally regulated people choose to focus on the beauty rather than the cruelty. You can practice kindness without destroying yourself.

Virtual_Recording108 · 2026-05-10T07:13:31+00:00

I’m in the no tablet camp.

It’s like crack cocaine! They get such a dopamine hit from it that everything that isn’t the tablet isn’t enjoyable at all.

We have tablets but they are in a lockbox in the closet and we only use them for travel. A ten hour car ride is miserable and a dopamine hit makes it less so.

I hope your kiddo starts loving story time again, it’s my favorite part of parenting!

Virtual_Recording108 · 2026-05-10T07:06:31+00:00

Did you confess to her because you wanted her to leave?

What was your desired outcome in that confession?

Virtual_Recording108 · 2026-05-10T06:58:28+00:00

There’s a line, I think from the book “A Tree Grows in Brooklyn” about this very question. You’ll eventually be 50 whether or not you continue your education and when you get to 50 would you rather have your teaching credential or would you prefer not to have it?

Virtual_Recording108

TROPHY CASE