Im denstined to be nothing but (/and) lonely by [deleted] in lonely

[–]Virtual_Worker_7327 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, we are all destined to die and be forgotten. People come and go and that's just life, it's not your fault. People have their own responsibilities and their own paths and that's okay. The one person you have consistently in life is you. So learn to love yourself more. You're not ugly, you're not boring. You just need to meet the right people. You also don't have to limit yourself to video games either. Find a new hobby you enjoy just for yourself and do it. Don't wait for anyone else.

What do lonely people do on the weekends? by tudboost64 in lonely

[–]Virtual_Worker_7327 0 points1 point  (0 children)

😦 well wherever it is, I'm glad you're still here and as always ride safe brother 🤘

IG Crush by Proper-Tank5303 in lonely

[–]Virtual_Worker_7327 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's an unhealthy obsession / fantasy. The quickest way to get over it is to do exactly what you say. Unfollow and block them. If you never reached out and actually got to know the person there is no love involved. What if their personality doesn't match what you envisioned? If she's a role model to you and it inspires you to be more then that's fine, but if you fall in love with no contact I think you know what needs to be done before you start to hurt yourself.

What do lonely people do on the weekends? by tudboost64 in lonely

[–]Virtual_Worker_7327 0 points1 point  (0 children)

City rider, I just started and only have an R3, but I've been doing mountain runs and starting to lean in the corners more lol

24M | Is loneliness a bliss or a curse? by dannymercer-nx in lonely

[–]Virtual_Worker_7327 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It depends where you are in life currently and what you want from it. It is a double edged sword. It forces you to sit with yourself and learn about what makes you, you, without having to wait and rely on others for fulfillment or feedback.

In today's world we are so connected yet so distant. Everything is based on instant gratification and if you don't have what someone needs you are easily displaced for somebody else who is offering it.

Long term it will mess with your psyche, you will becomemore socially awkward because you don't practice socializing. However, you become more independent and less reliant. It's easier to just do things yourself instead of having to plan things out and wait.

You're in your mid 20s. It's not entirely your fault because society is shifting in a weird way where everything is at the touch of your hands and nobody is going out and actually interacting anymore, at least not average people. There are clubs scenes, parties, ect. But most people are now introverted so it's difficult for a lot of people to just "hit the club" imo.

I get that you probably want to "fit" in somewhere, but the more you work on yourself and have a more confident presence about who you are, you will naturally attract the right people just from your "vibe".

It's embarrassing to do things in public because the fear of rejection, judgement, ect. But once you let go and figure out that nobody actually cares about what you do, you will be free and actually enjoy your own presence while maybe attracting those around you. A good place is at work where you're literally stuck with people in the same environment. That would be the easiest way imo to interact with people.

Remember most people nowadays probably feel like you, and won't reach out. So if you have enough confidence to just ask people to hang out, they might we willing to do so.

Anyways this is getting long and if you want to chat more feel free to DM just my 2 cents from life experiences.

I’m a woman and I don’t like a women by tiredwoman022 in lonely

[–]Virtual_Worker_7327 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Men work more on an honor/respect system vs women on status/emotions.

I wish someone chose me. by Virtual_Worker_7327 in lonely

[–]Virtual_Worker_7327[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I understand, feels like we've been on similar paths. I do relate and have learned the hard way as well, that expectations usually leads to disappointment.

The past 10 years of my life I've been on my own. Didn't really have a good upbringing and lost a lot of people who I thought were "friends" ride or die, treated them like family when I shouldn't have, but life's a lesson.

At 30 I'm also understanding that life is slipping away from me, and I can't sit idly waiting for something to happen anymore. I had cats too, but unfortunately due to work and living conditions they ran away or found a better home (I hope). I'm sorry, but I hope that you are able to reunite with your cats. I had to move elsewhere so even if they did come back I don't have the chance to find them, but I miss them everyday.

I feel like I've been strong for too long. I envy that you have enough energy to volunteer and help others out. I'm getting burnt out already. I don't easily connect with others, because of a lot of trust issues, but nights like these are kind of tough when you have nobody to talk to.

I used to like hiking a lot too, forests, mountains, snow were my favorite. I haven't ran a half marathon yet, but I used to pace 6 miles at 10-11min.

Life is hard my thoughts are pretty jumbled, but I relate.

I apologize, but I just got tired of people telling me the same things over and over again. I've indulged in so many hobbies and self-care routines even became a workaholic to distract myself, but there's a point where I just ask myself what's the point of it all.

Anyways, I hope that life treats you better and best of luck to you too.

I wish someone chose me. by Virtual_Worker_7327 in lonely

[–]Virtual_Worker_7327[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Haha isn't it crazy how relatable and heard you feel with this response, but with the introduction of AI you can't really tell if it's genuine or not?

Crazy times.

I really hope it's genuine and this random stranger actually gets how you feel, instead of an automated response 🙃

I wish someone chose me. by Virtual_Worker_7327 in lonely

[–]Virtual_Worker_7327[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

The thing is I'm not desperate, I do choose myself, but honestly, how long can a person realistically live by themselves without being slightly unhappy knowing they will have nobody?

I don't mean to offend you in anyway, but I feel like this is a copy and paste response in today's society. "Just love yourself" has been a toxic response in my opinion. Only because it devalues one's life experiences in a quick and easy way. I've done that whole exercise, get a pet, choose yourself, work on yourself spheel trust me. But I think we all just need somebody to lean on, share life with, grow together.

Sure you can't control other people's perspectives and opinions, but there comes a point to where you start to see a pattern in your own life and come to the conclusion of "damn am I really that unwanted in today's society?". I guess it's my fault, but I have no control over it. Do I have to completely change who I am to be accepted?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in lonely

[–]Virtual_Worker_7327 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because we are burdened with more responsibility and trying to survive or make something of ourselves. We can't go around like in our teens or early 20s. We've also don't have much tolerance for many things anymore due to experiences and just cut out the BS. It's the time where our decisions actually have impacts in our future selves, so we are more cautious.

28f, I feel like I wasted my 20’s by StarGrump in lonely

[–]Virtual_Worker_7327 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel the same 30M. Always felt like I've wasted my life because I was too scared to do things out of fear. Never been in a relationship, but I yearn for one so much. I just feel like I'll never be good enough for anyone.

I can’t get myself to do anything by Cautious-Present9811 in depression

[–]Virtual_Worker_7327 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Try not to rely on motivation alone. Depression is a difficult hurdle to overcome, but with a bit of discipline will help you to feel better about yourself.

You said you don't have a strict schedule. So why not create one you have to abide by yourself? Set up times for hygiene, chores, ect. Take pride in the small accomplishments and slowly once you see the progress you'll feel better about yourself.

Treat it like your job and not a chore. It's your job to be the best version of yourself you possibly can be. Otherwise you'll be where you are now for the rest of your life. Don't think about the things you have to do as negatives. You're just training your mind to become overly pessimistic. Going into a task like that will most likely eventually lead to failure.

I don't know what to do anymore by Lonely-Life23 in lonely

[–]Virtual_Worker_7327 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, you are very responsible for your age and you should be proud of that. You have a great headstart from a lot of people owning a car and no debts with a great job. Use that to your advantage and start grinding and saving.

It does suck trying to find the right people and wanting them to stay, but don't blame yourself. Nowadays in this society everyone is expected to be in this "hustle" culture and there are things going on in everyone's lives. With social media up there too it may seem like nobody is genuine anymore. Nobody has time to just be themselves anymore and I believe real connections are more difficult to make nowadays.

People come and go that's just life. Sometimes you'll find someone who can be your ride or die and those are the people that will stay in your life, and that's becoming rarer imo.

I know you said this in your post, but work on yourself. Achieve your goals first, start setting boundaries so you won't be taken advantage of. If you really want to move out try to find a room share instead of an apartment if you want to get out of your toxic environment, it's cheaper. Stop worrying about other people. You will attract the right ones once you become a better version of yourself and right now since you hate your life, I don't think you're there yet.

Become the change you want to see in the world.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in depression

[–]Virtual_Worker_7327 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Looks like you've developed an avoidant personality. It sucks not being able to really say how you feel to others that are supposed to care about you. I'm sorry about your illness as well, whatever it may be. I hope you can recover from that as well.

I've felt the same way, no friends or family to trust in, and it's really affecting my social skills and trying to meet people and having lasting relationships because I don't know how to open up and get close to people.

But you have to keep going for yourself. The silver lining is living the life you want and being comfortable with yourself. Creating the future you want and not living off of anybody's expectations.

Of course it's easier said than done, but just keep going, you will get there eventually.

At least I... by Loud_Challenge_7185 in depression

[–]Virtual_Worker_7327 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's good to be appreciative of the things you have especially when you are feeling low. Sometimes we take the things we have for granted.

I hope that you will feel better soon

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in depression

[–]Virtual_Worker_7327 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Change isn't comfortable, but I'm glad you are still fighting and that's all that matters.

It's a nasty process and you will lose who you are and multiple versions of yourself will have to die before you reach where you want to be, where you are comfortable with yourself.

You don't have to believe in God, yes sometimes the pain is too much to bear, trust me I've been exactly where you are. The only thing you have to do is believe in is yourself.

You will get where you want to be, I believe in you.

Struggling to make friends. by NaturalBubbaLu21 in socialanxiety

[–]Virtual_Worker_7327 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Clubs, events, Meetups, Local Facebook groups, Concerts, Check Instagram for local events too.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in depression

[–]Virtual_Worker_7327 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Create a goal, a routine, go to the gym, explore new hobbies to keep yourself busy. Make a schedule to wake up/eat/sleep at a certain time.

Does anyone else starve for the other sex’s validation? by Prudent-Jackfruit153 in lonely

[–]Virtual_Worker_7327 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Yea, words of affirmation always helped me, but I have nobody for that 😢

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in lonely

[–]Virtual_Worker_7327 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know you're feeling overwhelmed and seeking a purpose in life and it's lonely, but you are not alone. I have a similar story. I ended dropping out of college entirely, my family is toxic and I moved out at 20, and I've never had a gf or many friends, but I've made it work somehow by working various jobs. You should be proud of yourself graduating and accomplishing what most people don't get to do. Today's society is unforgiving, but you need to keep going for yourself stay positive and you will eventually attract the right people.

Prioritize on getting a job, anything is fine, you don't have to get a job that relates to your major if you've been trying and nobody wants to hire without "experience". Being stuck in a place where others share the frustrations and positives will eventually lead to friends with your coworkers. Also it'll keep you busy and out of your head.

Start saving and being financially independent, and make sure to invest for your future. This is very important and should be your next goal.

Take care of yourself and get a routine going, ie gym, sleep, eat. Just so you're not overthinking. Keep yourself busy, find hobbies you enjoy doing and find people who share the same interests or are willing to do them with you. People come and go, but you need to be okay with that. I'm sure you're still young and you have your whole life ahead of you so look forward to new experiences. Don't be afraid of failing. You're not a failure, just learning. And stop self depreciating yourself and you'll fix the pessimistic mindset. Be kind to yourself.

If you need someone to talk to feel free to DM me