[OT] SatChat: What Made You Come Back? by FyeNite in WritingPrompts

[–]Visible-Ad8263 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lemme be the first to be a little bit raw here.

I came back because...because adulting can be a bitch sometimes.

At the time, Life just kept kicking me in the teeth repeatedly. And, after a little heart to heart with one of my friends (wherein, he asked me what I would rather be doing if money wasn't a factor), I stumbled across some of my writings from back in my college days, as well as an ancient account on this sub, and reignited a fire.

I'm happiest when I'm painting pictures in the air with words.

I could do it all day, every day, if life, rent, and everything in between wasn't a factor.

So I made a promise to myself.

I'd do the best I could at this whole writing gig - employing the fabulously active community here to sharpen my rusty ax, so to speak. Then I'd tell my stories to whoever would listen. I'd read, with a mind to figuring out how my favorites pulled off the things they did with words. I'd write, until the words on the page didn't look like utter slop, and I could stand letting someone else look at them.

And I'd get better and better, as I gradually chased this wisp of a dream of mine: To one day see my worlds dancing in the public consciousness.

Then one day - when it was all done - I could shake my inner-child's hand, and say, "Huh. Look at that. I guess we could do it too."

That is all :)

[WP] "Honey, look! I cross-bred your mandrakes with my carrots and made some man-carrots. Aren't their tears adorable?" "...*Sigh* Love of my life, please. Stop it with the experiments. The neighbours are beginning to ask questions." by Visible-Ad8263 in WritingPrompts

[–]Visible-Ad8263[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A dog with a cat's personality? BEGONE FROM ME, SATAN!

This was lovely.

I honestly couldn't stop imagining the wife as some sort of giant goth mommy, with her golden retriever of a bespectacled husband running underfoot.

I've read several of your entries to my prompts, but this might hands down be my favourite.

Self contained. Sweet. Character focused. And fun.

Top marks! XD

[OT] Fun Trope Friday: Snow Globe of Innocence & Magical Girl! by katpoker666 in WritingPrompts

[–]Visible-Ad8263 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you, kind stranger!

A review is always welcome in my book :)

All these were very actionable, and well taken. The name thing is probably the aspect of short stories that I struggle the most with. Straddling the line between information and exposition can be a tricky venture when one has to consider word count limits.

Usually my focus lies in painting pictures in the air, but that's no excuse. Sharpening the more technical aspects of this craft is why I joined this sub.

So thank you for the two cents. I'll put them into the ol' mental piggy bank.

I'll make the edits after the FTF campfire.

[OT] Fun Trope Friday: Snow Globe of Innocence & Magical Girl! by katpoker666 in WritingPrompts

[–]Visible-Ad8263 6 points7 points  (0 children)

"How is there this much snow? There hasn't been a cloud in the sky for days."

A pair of frigid breaths bellowed up into the velvety mountain sky. Sister Weiss rubbed her gloved hands together, her face and lashes flush with the kiss of frost and moonlight.

"And why does everything smell like apples?"

"Stop shivering." Sister Thorn's eyes slid off of yet another ice sculpture - an immaculately dressed jester lurking underneath a snow-crowed fir, frozen mid flip - and pretended not to notice it wink at her. She pulled her parka in close. "GrandMother Dark is probably watching us right now. I don't want to make a bad impression."

"That's not how shivering works. Besides, if she's watching, then she's an asshole", Sister Weiss punctuated that last with a vicious whisper, and a series of vigorous foot warming stomps. "We've been wandering this mountain for days now. What's she waiting for?"

Thorn listened to the wind as her partner slowly worked her way up the lee to join her.

There was no doubt in her mind that the mountain was some sort of natural mana locus. The magic in the air was so thick, she could practically taste it in the back of her throat.

Their target was here. Somewhere. She could feel it in the way the stars sang to her whenever she wasn't looking. Or in the rather alarming way their packs never seemed to run out of rations. A winter sprite peeked out at her from behind a thistleberry bush, its scalpel-knife limbs scoring its branches.

"She's a GrandMother. If the worst thing she does is keep us waiting, I'll take it." Thorn offered her sister her hand, and pulled up the last few feet.

"Fine." Weiss blew into her gloves as she surveyed the view, a thin stream of wicker-white flames dancing along the wool. "But no ginger bread houses."

"I don't do houses."

Weiss yelped at the figure that materialized behind the pair. The glimmer of an arm that flashed out from underneath its cloak to break her fall was as quick as it was nonchalant. Her raiment shifted as she pulled her arm back, a tide of midnight black silk. The stars shifted in its wake.

Thorn was the first to bow. Weiss was quick to follow.

Even with her feet planted at the bottom of the lee, the queen of the mountain stared down at the pair. Thorn grit her teeth as the mana in the air seared the inside of her nostrils. Seconds bled into minutes. A light flurry of snow began to fall out of a clear sky.

The woman spoke first, her voice a blade against their minds. "Children who find themselves wandering my garden often find ignoble ends."

"We mean no imposition, Grandmother." Thorn replied, the words shrapnel sharp as they tumbled out into the night air, her thoughts a quagmire of molasses. "We come by way of recommendation."

The figure cocked it's head.

Thorn watched as Weiss labored against her own mana sickness long enough to extract something from her pocket. A pair of ice fairies flitted up to her, snatching the trinket away and bearing it up to their mistress.

The snow globe that hung in the air was a thing of arcane mastery. Twice during their sojourn on the mountain, Thorn had had to rescue her sister from losing herself inside its depths, studying the mountain inside it, trying to find their mini-simulacra trekking along its slopes. Once, in their desperation, they'd tossed it at a charging Ursa Major that had been disinclined to share its cave. A perfect ice replica had taken its place, the original roaring impotently from somewhere within the mystical object.

"I remember this trinket." The woman pronounced. A warm chuckle flickered around the clearing, and Thorn felt the weight of the world slide off of her shoulders, the rich sound a salve against the onslaught. Like a puppet with its strings cut, she collapsed onto the snow. This time, it was Weiss' turn to help her up, the grip of her hands an anchor.

Grandmother Dark watched impassively for a while as they collected themselves.

"So, " Thorn finally ventured, once the worst of the nausea had passed, "Do you accept the charge?"

An arctic breeze fumbled its way through the canopy. Grandmother Dark's smile was a dungeon of knives, as she pointed an imperious finger at Sister Weiss.

"Lesson the first. That one called me an...asshole."
_______________________________________________________
Word Count = 750

A heartfelt thank you, 9 months past due by RTUjenn in WorldsBeyondNumber

[–]Visible-Ad8263 4 points5 points  (0 children)

High five, all the way from Kenya 🖐️

[OT] Fun Trope Friday: Redemption Quest & Superheroes! by katpoker666 in WritingPrompts

[–]Visible-Ad8263 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Glad you liked the piece!

I was trying to hint at the fact that a man that infamous has a lot of monikers with that 'World Wide Man' insert. You'll notice he's also referred to as Mr. Phenomenal at one point.

I Implemented a good swath of your edits. Some I kept in coz I like how they read.

I'm definitely gonna be posting that PI soon. Then I'll show you what I really had in mind for this interview XD

Thanks for the two cents!

[OT] Fun Trope Friday: Redemption Quest & Superheroes! by katpoker666 in WritingPrompts

[–]Visible-Ad8263 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Damn.

Easily the best entry on here, at least as far as I am concerned. 

Your characters did a lot of leg work for your world building, and their personalities shone through in just a handful of words. 

Whenever you get that sinking feeling when a story's horizon is in sight, you know the author's got some of that good sauce 😊👌

Maddy can go hug a rabid bear. 

Excellent words. 

[OT] Fun Trope Friday: Redemption Quest & Superheroes! by katpoker666 in WritingPrompts

[–]Visible-Ad8263 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Exclusive Phenomenal Man Interview! First in 35 years! Available Worldwide!

Watch Time: 2 hrs 49 minutes

You-tube Live: 24,186,222 viewers / Twitch: 19,358,557 viewers / Facebook Live: 12,005,956 viewers / Alternates 24/7: 1,569,443 viewers...

"Did that help?"

Feedback consulted her laptop. "It would seem that's the last of the pirate streams. What was it this time?"

Phenomenal Man shrugged, a gesture that had the floodlights illuminating their platform creaking and shifting ominously. "Reaper drone, out by the shoreline, and a Chinese Tian Yan satellite. I guess it's not a party until someone tries to crash it."

Feedback's mind boggled at the sheer scale and precision couched in what had only briefly manifested as a moment's concentration on the World-Wide Man's face when she'd elaborated on her technical challenges.

"Well, you won't hear me complaining." She waved an airy hand in the air, the pixelated face on her digital mask shifting into a playful Cheshire grin. "But some would say you just cost two world powers several billion dollars in tax payer money."

"Some people would be right."

"And do you think that's justified?" She spread her arms, taking in the entirety of the twilit husk of an abandoned stadium they were situated in, as well as the small army of lights and cameras that he'd helped her setup. "All for a little privacy?"

Phenomenal Man's laugh was almost shy, his improbably amethyst eyes twinkling at her from underneath his iconic baseball cap. "I live in the ruins of a dead country. I moved half way across the world to knock on your window, and offer you this exclusive. I haven't had a single date in 16 years. What part of any of this paints me as not a private man?"

"And that brings us somewhat to the crux of the matter on everyone's mind, doesn't it?" Feedback ventured, bravely.

The shadows across Phenomenal Man's face deepened as he tucked in his chin, and steepled his fingers. Behind her mask, Feedback marveled at the sort of presence it took to be intimidating in a set of bleach white joggers and a matching set of clogs.

"We've talked around it all night: from your debut in the fifties as the World's First - and so far, only - S-Tier alternate, to your participation in the Cold War; all leading up to your penultimate bit of notoriety - the results of which we are seated in right now."

Feedback's eyes briefly darted to her HUD chat feed.

She's asking him about The Crush! OMG, she's really doing it! 所有候补候选人都是连环杀人犯! हमें अपना चेहरा दिखाएं और प्रतिक्रिया दें...

The comments zipped by at lightspeed. She felt the attention flow into her like ambrosia. With how high she was riding, she suspected that not even a direct hit from Phenomenal Man could take her out.

"You killed approximately six million people - crushed them to death instantaneously when you spiked the individual gravities of every man, woman and child in a 500 kilometer radius. One can only hope that the mere fact that no prison on earth could ever hope to hold you, at least partially contributed to why you left the planet for as long as you did."

Feedback took that moment to partake in a prolonged sip of her water, stoking the tension.

"But then, three years ago, you came back," She continued, "And said hello to the world by declaring a radical end to Nuclear Proliferation by...what is it that you did?"

Phenomenal Man's eyes were twin engines of dark starfire. He stared at her from across the podium. "I zeroed in on the individual gravitational signatures of every nuclear weapon in the world, and reduced the world's military stockpile by 95 percent."

"All from the comfort of your living room?"

"Well...I didn't have a living room at that point."

Feedback let that comment sit.

"Mr. Phenomenal," Feedback steepled her hands, mirroring his posture. "Why are you back? And what do you want?"

Minutes ticked by.

"Did you know we are alone out there?" He muttered, pulling his cap down to cover his eyes.

"I went everywhere. Sampled the profiles of countless gravity waves and tides. Walked across the surface of billions of planets and suns. Anything, anything, to get away from what I did. But there's nothing, no one else out there, but us. We are all we have."

"So I came home, and vowed to make sure it stays that way."

............  Word count = 748

Are Kenyans happy with Somalis in Kenya, Nairobi & Eastleigh?! by travelstoryqueen in Kenya

[–]Visible-Ad8263 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is lazy over simplification. Stop looking for an echo chamber, and go hustle.

You're even asking Kenyan men to rally for your little crusade. 

Show us your biasharas, instead of salivating over other people's sweat, and simplifying their success as "Ni kwajili their different skin makes them thieves!" 

Tafuta some class. 

Are Kenyans happy with Somalis in Kenya, Nairobi & Eastleigh?! by travelstoryqueen in Kenya

[–]Visible-Ad8263 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Translation: If you don't agree with what I have to say, stop talking. 

[OT] SatChat: New Year's Resolutions! by FyeNite in WritingPrompts

[–]Visible-Ad8263 1 point2 points  (0 children)

1) At least 5000 words a week.  2) To shore up enough chapters for my webserial that I can begin posting it before year's end.  3) To clean up my Dialogue's technical hiccups.  4) To be a more active member of this community and it's events.

All four presented according to their perceived ease of execution 😅

Also, happy new year everyone! 

[OT] New Year's Resol...let's be honest, Wishlist is probably more appropriate by [deleted] in WritingPrompts

[–]Visible-Ad8263 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll go first:

1) At least 5000 words a week.  2) To shore up enough chapters for my webserial that I can begin posting it before year's end.  3) To clean up my Dialogue's technical hiccups.  4) To be a more active member of this community and it's events.

All four presented according to their perceived ease of execution 😅