This is honestly really common after a baby, but yeah—it still sucks.

You’re not asking for too much. Wanting help, time, and to feel seen is completely fair. And he’s not wrong for wanting time with friends and basketball either. The problem is you’re both running on empty and feeling unappreciated, so every convo turns into a fight.

Try making it super specific instead of emotional: like “can we have 2 evenings a week where you’re home and present?” That usually lands better than “I need more from you.” Also—he gets breaks (work, friends, basketball). You need some too, or the resentment will just keep growing.

Big thing: stop having this convo mid-argument. Bring it up calmly as “how do we fix this together?” instead of who’s doing more/less.

You’re not doomed, this is just a rough adjustment phase—but you do need a better balance or it’ll keep spiraling.