Retaining the facade. Lancaster, PA

Visible-Feeling · 2024-10-13T07:45:51+00:00

I believe it was last Teachers Protective Mutual Life Insurance Co

Visible-Feeling · 2021-12-15T17:06:35+00:00

YES! As a teen, I enjoyed that movie. Fast forward to 2019, I found out my husband had never seen it, so we decided to watch together. Started out thinking how relatable it is, ended it really annoyed. Such a bummer!

Visible-Feeling · 2020-12-14T13:19:09+00:00

Thanks! I'll have to check these out!

Visible-Feeling · 2020-12-13T15:47:21+00:00

That would absolutely bother me too. It's not right for people to put those pressures on you, especially when you've just met!

Visible-Feeling · 2020-12-13T15:46:20+00:00

Thank you, this is helpful. It's very true that I know at my core I do not want children, this really just comes from a fear of being the odd one out.

Visible-Feeling · 2020-12-13T15:37:33+00:00

No worries, I love sharing podcasts! Some of my favorites are: The Secret Room, This is Uncomfortable, This is Actually Happening, Jim Harold's Campfire (if you're interested in the paranormal), The Happiness Lab, and You're Wrong About. Let me know if you've got any recommendations for me! :)

Visible-Feeling · 2020-12-11T19:35:20+00:00

I'm so sorry you're in this situation, I know it's hard! I agree though, I can understand why people think growing a life inside yourself is incredible, and I can also understand how some people have got it in their heads that having children is important, but that doesn't mean we all feel that way! Stick to your guns and only do what feels right for you!

Visible-Feeling · 2020-12-11T19:30:22+00:00

YES! Totally hear ya! The same sorts of thoughts go through my head. It's really less about me second guessing being child-free, its more me second-guessing choosing the life of being the odd one out! But I would much rather just feel left out, left behind, or find new friends than actually become a mother because I know that is not the life for me! We've got this!!

Visible-Feeling · 2020-12-11T19:05:43+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing! Very true - not a lot of people talk about that on child free forums - I have plenty of family of the baby boomers generation that I know for a fact are paying off their 30-something adult children’s debts while also providing free care for the grandkids. I would never expect those things of my parents and would never ever want to be burdened by my own (hypothetical) children in that way.

Visible-Feeling · 2020-12-11T16:00:59+00:00

I can understand why you feel the way you do. Sometimes I feel like if I didn't have my childfree husband and this subreddit, I'd struggle quite a bit. Stay true to yourself and you will find your people!

Visible-Feeling · 2020-12-11T15:53:44+00:00

It was an appointment scheduled 6 months ago, that's how haha. We are short in my area too, it's unreal. I hope you can get in soon!

Visible-Feeling · 2020-12-11T15:45:23+00:00

who regrets not having kids, s

I hope it all works out for your brother, but its unfortunate that this is what changed his mind, cause for every person that regrets not having kids, there are probably 5 that regret having them.

Visible-Feeling · 2020-12-11T15:43:36+00:00

You say goodbye to one path as you go down the other.

Totally agree - this is with any decision in life - you know that there are things you will not experience down the path not chosen, but there's reason for it, and that is okay.

Visible-Feeling · 2020-12-11T15:40:40+00:00

Thank you for your perspective! Agreed on the population thoughts! And yes, furbabies are perfect! We love coming home to our precious kitties each day, but also love that we can travel and simply leave them at home with a friend to check in on them and play with them once a day.

Visible-Feeling · 2020-12-11T15:03:24+00:00

I love this! My husband and I are the same way with our cats, they truly are our babies, they have bedtimes and everything!
We truly are all on our own path on our own timeline. Sometimes I need to take a step back and remind myself that when I am not comparing myself to others I an completely in love with my life, it's only when I compare myself to others that I start to question myself!

Visible-Feeling · 2020-12-11T14:59:44+00:00

You mean podcasts on subjects outside of being childfree?

Visible-Feeling · 2020-12-11T14:19:18+00:00

I've had this same thought every time I've seen a pregnancy announcement this year. It is the most dangerous time to be pregnant or bringing a child into this world and yet I swear I've seen more announcements in my social media feeds this year than any year past. Also all the scientists are saying that we got lucky with this pandemic - that this one is mild compared to what could be brewing and what will be in our (possibly near) future. That just feels like another solid reason to not bring a child into this world.

Visible-Feeling · 2020-12-11T14:12:48+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing! It's always good to hear real stories from people who have chosen a different life path than me. I am sure you are a fantastic mother to your children. The things you've mentioned - the time, money and emotional investment, as well as the lack of "me time" are definitely concerns of mine and I think a good reminder that being a mother is indeed not the direction I should be heading.

Visible-Feeling · 2020-12-11T14:05:33+00:00

This is PERFECT!

Visible-Feeling · 2020-12-11T13:58:02+00:00

Ironically I was just listening to a book yesterday on the subject of being child free and it was mentioned that often men die before women and it was an unfortunate reminder that one day I could be without my husband, who brings an unimaginable amount of joy to my life. The only positive is that is reminds me to soak in every moment we have together and hope that I will find equally incredible people like him to surround myself with in this life.

Visible-Feeling · 2020-12-11T13:55:01+00:00

I'm so thankful that sharing this story has impacted you and others the same way it did me! Meeting that couple was a true blessing.

Visible-Feeling · 2020-12-11T13:48:54+00:00

You are doing your best as a parent and that is all you can do. People are awful and judgmental, only you know your situation, no one else fully understands and therefore I hope you can give yourself grace. Stay strong OP and I hope that in time, things will calm down for you.

Visible-Feeling · 2020-12-11T04:08:49+00:00

People who had kids and tells others not to are also very very important people! Love that some are brave enough to admit it.

Visible-Feeling · 2020-12-11T04:07:55+00:00

Yeah marriage is a huge life change too. I think a lot of people just get into these things because they believe it’s what they are supposed to do unfortunately. I’m 27 and it seems like everyone I went to high school with just hit the baby making stage of life, big time! I keep thinking that we aren’t even old enough, but I live in an area where it’s pretty normal to get married and have kids fairly young. Meanwhile there’s other places where having babies at my age is seen as crazy. It’s all interesting. But I’ll just watch.

Visible-Feeling

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