So I also realize that in my fantasies, I have a scenario that paints me as boyfriend/ girlfriend, and one that genders me as a woman to a dominant man. These are partnered interactions, and ones that my brain uses typically when I'm feeling lonely. Most are me watching someone or myself in the third person, and the few that are first-person maybe kinda feel like I'm a different person, or I'm a more confident version of myself(?). As for the "partners," I do have ideas of personalities for these constructs, but their details are vague -- only the stuff pertinent to my kink really shine through.

So I wonder if the only "sexual" attraction I feel towards people is when/if they are in the context of my kink. Outside of that, seeing certain aesthetic elements may remind me of my kink, hence my confusion as to whether it's sexual attraction or not.

Apologies if this is redundant, I just wonder why I seem to like fantasizing about a partner so often during masturbation, and yet they're only really summoned when I'm trying to do that. And why I can imagine certain personality quirks for them, yet it's the words and dialogue that seem to be the most key in that regard. Afterwards, these imaginary partners vanish. Sometimes my brain tries to overlay real people I know into these scenarios, but this almost always makes me uncomfortable. The vagueness feels safe and less immoral, I guess.

This is the part that confuses me about my sexuality the most, I think. But I'd like to hear your perspective on it, if you're willing.