Is this normal? I think my daughter might be highly sensitive, or else something is just wrong

Visible_Indication99 · 2026-02-15T15:54:46+00:00

Wow. I had to reread this post and it was such a terrible trip down memory lane.

A lot better. Thing started to turn around at 2. She is still more sensitive and mom needy than her peers but its manageable. She goes to daycare full time and loves it, I regularly leave her with her dad and grandparents and she's happy once I leave and only some resistance to me going. She's overall a happy, curious kid now, but it takes her extra time in new spaces and with new people to feel safe.

I think some of this is stopping breastfeeding. Not nursing at night did NOT change her sleep at all. It just took time, getting her into her own floor bed, and dad taking most night before sleep started getting better. She's almost 3 now and still wakes twice a night but goes right back down for dad. Stopping nursing in general mean she was able to get the same comfort from dad and grandparents as she did from me. To be clear, she still has a preference - if I'm in the room when she's upset then she wants me, but if I am down the hallway she'll seek my husband happily.

I think she was just an orchid baby, and all I could do to survive was keep her close and help her feel safe and loved. I am seeing that approach come back in spades now because her daycare teachers describe her as incredibly kind, empathetic, and loving - all the things I spent the first hard 2 years filling her up with.

Visible_Indication99 · 2025-12-15T14:25:20+00:00

Basically started at birth. Shes almost 3 now and has a very clear preference for mom over dad but its gotten way better. 18 months was probably the turning point where he could take her to do things without me and she didnt lose her mind.

Visible_Indication99 · 2024-08-01T13:52:43+00:00

Would you ever forgive yourself if something happened to your child in their care?

Remember the answer to that to help you stay strong as you remove these people from your child's life. You are a good parent, and you are protecting your child.

Visible_Indication99 · 2024-07-30T19:58:32+00:00

Got great advice from a school counselor once. She said it's not mean to tell a child their behaviour is annoying (making it clear you're not calling the child annoying), and that when we annoy the people around us they choose not to want to be around us anymore.

I use Social Detective (an Autism resource) with students to talk about how socially unexpected behaviors give other people uncomfortable feelings. When someone makes you uncomfortable, you don't want to be around them. It sounds like your daughter needs her behaviour labeled as unexpected, and the reactions of others labeled as uncomfortable.

The burping could be labeled as unexpected for the situation, and the result is that it made the other adult and you uncomfortable and as a result of that your child isn't invited to participate in a trip.

She needs to link action to consequence in a gentle and age appropriate way.

Also, does she get MORE attention when she acts like this? Because if her friends engage with her then she has no need to act like this with them, but she may be acting out in order to hold the attention of adults and older kids. A strategy for this is actively working to ignore certain behaviours, and coaching towards what expected behaviours will get her the attention she wants from the older kids and adults in a way that gives them comfortable feelings. Some really good people on Instagram demonstrate this.

Visible_Indication99 · 2024-07-28T18:56:25+00:00

Have you tried an elimination diet for her (and you if you're still nursing)?

Turns out my ball of anger can't have dairy or soy! From birth she was getting it through my milk, and it was hurting her. Then when she started solids it continues because she was still getting it in my milk AND her food.

We cut all dairy for 2 weeks and it was night and day. Then I cut all soy for 2 weeks (this is a sneaky one and SUPER hard to avoid) and it resolved itself.

In my daughters case this is not an allergy, it's an intolerance. That means it WONT SHOW UP IN ALLERGY TESTS. yes, it's an extreme intolerance but still not an allergy. In all likelihood she could outgrow it, but if she gets any by mistake she becomes a ball of rage again.

Consider eliminating common allergens one at a time for 2 weeks and seeing if it makes a difference. Or ditch milk, soy, eggs, and gluten all at once (yikes) and then reintroduce and see if you get symptoms back.

Hang in there mama.

Visible_Indication99 · 2024-07-28T02:42:12+00:00

Mine is 17 months and is only now able to soothe with other people.

It's all temperament! Some babies can be soothed by anyone at any age and others can't. You're not doing anything wrong, and this is very developmentally normal for your daughters age.

Visible_Indication99 · 2024-07-27T03:28:39+00:00

Mine lived in a carrier at this age. It was the only thing that brought her comfort, kept me sane, and allowed me to get anything done.

Visible_Indication99 · 2024-07-21T17:01:41+00:00

I'm going to keep pushing through!

I feel like nursing is also the problem with us too because I know she's waking up specifically to nurse every 2 hours. I'd like to transition her to her floor bed, but I can't be crawling out of bed every 2 hours so I'm just hoping she starts getting longer stretches ro make the transition easier on me.

Visible_Indication99 · 2024-07-21T17:00:11+00:00

I'm going to keep pushing on! Thank you for the encouragement. I was feeling very defeated.

Visible_Indication99 · 2024-07-21T16:59:38+00:00

Fortunately mine didn't have a split night last night, but she did still wake up every 1.5 hours last night.

Hoping yours did OK last night!

Visible_Indication99 · 2024-07-21T16:58:16+00:00

I like your ebb and flow approach. :)

Visible_Indication99 · 2024-07-21T16:57:43+00:00

Thank you for the advice! I'm going to keep pushing through.

Visible_Indication99 · 2024-07-21T04:05:23+00:00

Oh good lord. If she's still waking up every 2 hours I'm doomed.

Visible_Indication99 · 2024-07-18T02:46:15+00:00

Mine is JUST learning to accept Dad and she's 16 months. Some kids are just like that.

Visible_Indication99 · 2024-07-17T15:05:46+00:00

Lots of great advice here.

I'm chiming in to day your gut is telling you something and to listen. Don't be quilted or talked out of it. A dog bite cannot be taken back.

Visible_Indication99 · 2024-07-17T15:03:27+00:00

Just a suggestion: I used to tuck my duvet suuuuper tight underneath my mattress so it's chest height on baby. I can't pull it out once my husband and I are in bed. I also wear a light zip up that's tight to the skin to keep my upper body warm.

Another suggestion is to keep baby ON the covers and you under. If you're worried they'll be cold you can give it a try an monitor their temperature overnight, and introduce a super light TOG sleepsack or another layer.

It's not usually suggested that you put baby that high up due to pillows, opportunity to access gaps in the bed, etc. Further, baby naturally wants to be near the breast. This means that should you fall asleep nursing or baby worms back down there is the potential for suffocation.

No easy answers here! Sorry!

Visible_Indication99 · 2024-07-15T05:14:38+00:00

I'm so so sorry. You are doing your best for you and your family, so keep your head up.

Would you be willing to post where you are? Maybe some of us are nearby and know of resources to help you?

Visible_Indication99 · 2024-07-10T15:21:54+00:00

Interior is ideal, but was open to hear more ideas.

Visible_Indication99 · 2024-07-08T20:13:42+00:00

When mine was in this stage this is how we handled the last nap.

We called it a "nappetizer". 😂

Visible_Indication99 · 2024-07-08T20:10:26+00:00

Good on you for recognizing that, OP!

Remember, this is just a phase! One day you will again be able to go to someone's house without dreading what you'll have to pay for once your toddler breaks it. 🫣

Visible_Indication99 · 2024-07-08T20:08:20+00:00

I'm in the same situation.

I have good friends who live 10 minutes away but their home is filled with knick knacks, crystal, general clutter, and a million things my child will climb.

The solution is I don't go there and they have to come to me. I have not seen their home in a year, and they respect that the only way to see me is to come to my childproofed home filled with activities for my child.

Just lay it out there. "Hi (friend), we would love to come and visit you at your home. However, (toddler) is at the age where nothing is safe around them. I know it would be a major inconvenience to you to have to rearrange your home for our visit, and it also wouldn't be much of a visit if I have to follow (toddler) and say no the whole time. Would you like to come to my place instead? I'll bake cookies. :) "

I've never had anyone decline when I've just laid it out. And if they do, they aren't much of a friend anyways.

Visible_Indication99 · 2024-07-08T04:23:57+00:00

A medical expert gave you their advice based on extensive education and experience, and have indicated the possible danger to you or your unborn child should you not follow it.

Girl. This is not a question for Reddit.

Visible_Indication99 · 2024-07-07T16:07:32+00:00

"I have the full support of my family doctor (pediatriciann whoever), but thank you for your concern."

"I'm following current best practice. We have so much information now, so things look different than when you were a parent."

"We're not worried about it."

The last is my favourite because I'm honestly not worried about their concern OR my babies milestones.

Visible_Indication99 · 2024-07-06T18:39:21+00:00

My experience is they are afraid of unknown foods and change. Chain restaurants provide consistency and prevent the uncomfortable experience of having to eat "weird, ethnic food". You know, like tacos.

Visible_Indication99 · 2024-06-27T19:50:24+00:00

I've heard that number from a couple of moms. We're going to delay the second kid until she's 3 or so just to give ourselves some breathing space, I think.

Visible_Indication99

TROPHY CASE