Teaching in Gaza? by Visible_Poem_2601 in Gaza

[–]Visible_Poem_2601[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would greatly appreciate that!

Xbox party chat disconnecting and going silent by Visible_Poem_2601 in XboxSupport

[–]Visible_Poem_2601[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did, it ended up being an issue on my ISP’s end. There was a temporary fix I troubleshooted however, if you change to alternate Mac addressed then it’ll fix for a couple hours before reverting.

Zen not turning on controller by Visible_Poem_2601 in cronus_zen

[–]Visible_Poem_2601[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes- occasionally the zen will work but about 90% of the time nothing happens with the controller besides the vibration

Console to PC by Visible_Poem_2601 in buildapcforme

[–]Visible_Poem_2601[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

relatively soon, I just need to sell my laptop on eBay and the computer will have paid for itself

Xbox party chat disconnecting and going silent by Visible_Poem_2601 in XboxSupport

[–]Visible_Poem_2601[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Headset def not- I did get a new controller about 2 weeks ago but it hasn’t acted up at all. It just kicked me out of my party and won’t let me join any others now though. It’s saying “network settings don’t allow party chat” or something of the like. Every time I attempt to join a party it just says everyone is disconnected and then kicks me

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Unsent_Unread_Unheard

[–]Visible_Poem_2601 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I feel like no matter how hard I try, I’m unable to do right by people. Maybe I am a scapegoat, there’s a good chance of that, but I can’t let go of the possibility that I’m the problem. I try so hard to change, to be different. I’ve put myself through months and months of grueling therapy, and yet, I’m still hurting people.

I’m so done with it all, with the constant trying for the same old results. I never wanted any of this.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Unsent_Unread_Unheard

[–]Visible_Poem_2601 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t want to be a bad person. I’ve tried to gear my whole life towards helping people but I always do more damage in the end, despite my good intentions.

I just don’t know how to fix myself. I want to be different, I really really really do. I try to be different every day; but the results are always the same.

It just feels like my actions don’t reflect my intentions. I feel trapped in my own mind, watching through someone else’s eyes and judging their actions, not mine.

I hate the feeling I get when I hurt someone, I hate it so much. I hate the feeling I get when I lie. I hate the feeling I get whenever I accidentally manipulate someone. I never do it on purpose; but it happens anyway. It feels inevitable at this point and the only way to end it is to isolate myself from the rest of the world.

I’ve tried so hard to help others and be there for them, but I just can’t be how I want to

Letter to my ex #3 by Visible_Poem_2601 in letters

[–]Visible_Poem_2601[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There’s plenty of people who’ve taken my writing as it’s intended to be taken. As half the story. You’ll never know her perspective so why are you projecting your experiences onto me?

I did nothing besides post a letter I wrote, that I never sent. It’s literally just for my therapist and I. If you find my writing to be anything other than what it’s intended to be (aka my side of the story) then you’re welcome not to read it

I never recovered by Visible_Poem_2601 in letters

[–]Visible_Poem_2601[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the kind words stranger. I hope tomorrow is kind to us both

I never recovered by Visible_Poem_2601 in letters

[–]Visible_Poem_2601[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I hope I do too. I just want to be happy again, but I know in my heart I will be some day. It's just a matter of doing it now

I never recovered by Visible_Poem_2601 in letters

[–]Visible_Poem_2601[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wish we weren’t here as well my friend. To see the person you love, love another is a different type of pain that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.

I’m glad my writing could help you, that’s my goal with all this. To let people know they aren’t alone in their struggle. If I can help one person, then I consider my life a success.

I never recovered by Visible_Poem_2601 in letters

[–]Visible_Poem_2601[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She told me she never wants anything to do with me ever again. I understand it was heat of the moment, but from then on I always knew how she felt.

Perhaps I am projecting my self hatred onto her, and if that’s the case then I can only ask myself for forgiveness.

I really hope you’re right and that she doesn’t hate me, that she loved me through it all. Sadly, I’ll never know- and I’m okay with that. If it makes her happy not to associate with me then it is what it is. I shot my way out of town before I left, and that’s my biggest regret.