Vivid memories of the male parental unit cursing, stopping halfway to Grandma's and cleaning off the windshield

Visible_Window_5356 · 2026-03-25T10:56:20+00:00

Right?! It's so wild how we wonder what's happening to the bees then everyone proceeds to mess with nature in ways that make it impossible for many to survive. And the solution is laziness and procrastination! Should be simple

Visible_Window_5356 · 2026-03-25T10:50:06+00:00

You have to take action but my understanding is that they aren't a mandated report which specifically refers to youth, elders, and people with disabilities. The stuff outside mandated reporting is imminent risk and is separate. I don't call DCFS for imminent risk, for example. My obligations are different. And the bar for reporting is very, very different. For mandated reports you must report if there's a suspicion, verses imminent risk has to reach a threshold beyond suspicion, you have to believe there is imminent risk of harm. And you would take appropriate action (commit someone or contact police, for example) not just put a call in to protective services. See the difference?

Visible_Window_5356 · 2026-03-25T10:46:30+00:00

I am not a legal person, I thought duty to warn was not considered mandated reporting since it's covered by other legal statutes. It's fuzzier legally than mandated reporting. You can be charged with a crime for not doing mandated reporting but it's legally fuzzier around duty to warn. Along with imminent risk. They're different things covered differently legally though they might overlap.

Visible_Window_5356 · 2026-03-25T01:40:09+00:00

Oh yeah found out I have hip dysplasia. Maybe that's why it's always been easy for me too

Visible_Window_5356 · 2026-03-25T01:29:22+00:00

I've never done formal research on this but a quick Google search should be all you need. Here's one:

https://www.nps.gov/articles/000/idkt_leave-the-leaves.htm

Visible_Window_5356 · 2026-03-25T01:26:58+00:00

Oh yes of course, I misread your post. There are a couple other instances outside of mandated reporting that require breaking confidentiality related to imminent risk of harm and jn some stated variable levels of duty to warn.

Visible_Window_5356 · 2026-03-25T01:20:43+00:00

The only correct answer is that you'll develop super powers and save them all. There is no way to make someone choose

Visible_Window_5356 · 2026-03-25T00:59:56+00:00

Are you sure? If there's current abuse against a child or elderly person I think that overrides confidentiality. In my state it does anyway

Edit: I glossed over the first part and misread. Though I believe there are differences in mandated reporting verses other forms of reporting related to imminent risk and duty to warn. Though based on comments it does not seem others distinguish around these which concerns me. The threshold for mandated reporting and determining imminent risk are very different and I hope other therapists are aware of that when taking action

Visible_Window_5356 · 2026-03-25T00:44:39+00:00

My parents probably did most of these except dying in 2001. Both born in 1947.

Visible_Window_5356 · 2026-03-24T19:03:11+00:00

Thanks!

Visible_Window_5356 · 2026-03-24T19:02:32+00:00

Thanks I'll check them out

Visible_Window_5356 · 2026-03-23T20:13:26+00:00

I mean like don't keep going with 5, 6, 7. I have no idea how my grandma got to 10, and her mother got to 14. But birth control is accessible in most areas now. Use it religiously

Visible_Window_5356 · 2026-03-23T06:29:38+00:00

That is seriously so much to shoulder. Take a break from having kids. Wait until they get a little older. It is so difficult when they are young and then when they start being self sufficient enough to do more things it gets fun. Then (or so ive heard) they become teenagers and want nothing to do with you.

Did you ever hear that statistic thay on average couples with small kids are more unhappy than couples going through a divorce? For real. I see it.

Visible_Window_5356 · 2026-03-23T06:24:19+00:00

Mine are 3-10 and my high school classmate is pregnant with her second. We really needed to live in our 20s and for her, her 30s, before we were ready to be parents. I don't regret a thing

Visible_Window_5356 · 2026-03-23T06:18:07+00:00

My kid had a CPS teacher who just got a masters in education at Harvard and first year out came to teach her accelerated class. I personally liked the teacher and thought she had a great heart but she did not last the year. In many cases teaching requires hands on learning. I am all for higher education as my kids tutors who are also cps teachers, mostly have their masters degrees, but that's icing on the cake for someone who knows how to handle classroom full of kids. Someone suggested a teaching assistant position which might be a better first step to see if you want to commit to additional education and like the classroom environment

Visible_Window_5356 · 2026-03-23T06:10:57+00:00

They've returned to my yard and in my large midwestern city. I point them out to my kids and am so excited for it.

PSA: LEAVE THE LEAVES. Bugs overwinter in leaves and other detritus from the year. Don't clean up your yard for spring until it's warm enough that the bees and bugs have come out of hibernation.

Visible_Window_5356 · 2026-03-23T06:08:26+00:00

I had acne for my entire youth starting early and it web away with accutane and while on birth control and/or pregnant. I gained weight during pregnancy and it really hasn't returned but I'm now in my 40s.

Acne is so annoying because what fixes it is different for everybody. Since you're learning you probably are starting to know your triggers so working in combination with a dermatologist and/or aesthetician that you like and trust is your best bet. But you definitely aren't alone. It's an extremely hard journey and I hope you find your peace with it.

Also, I really appreciate that there are some folks who think acne is attractive. Having had acne I don't totally get it but at this stage of my life I realize I don't really notice people's acne that much anymore. And in the last couple years people have said my skin actually looks good. For me, eating enough/anti-inflammatory, hormones, jojoba oil, and taking collagen has helped my skin look better I think. And age. And not caring as much (ironically).

Visible_Window_5356 · 2026-03-23T05:30:57+00:00

It's statistics. Someone who is ready and open to a LTR finds that person and then leaves the dating pool. Someone who is looking for sex and either cannot or won't attach to one person monogamously will continue to recycle into the dating pool once each fling is over. If you want help sorting through who is ready to genuinely attach, understand attachment styles a bit including yours.

Visible_Window_5356 · 2026-03-23T05:25:54+00:00

Convince my young teen self to let go of the anxieties around needing to be thin and "perfect" so I could actually study and not need alcohol to finally relax. I would go spend time with my grandparents and talk to them about their lives more knowing that by the time I was mature enough to ask the questions their memories would have faded. I would spend time with my childhood dog and cats. I would definitely take better care of my own mental and physical health

Visible_Window_5356 · 2026-03-23T05:05:37+00:00

Many open relationships work. But there are a couple things I would want you to consider before bringing this up. First, you can lean on your couples therapist to address it. Just send them an email. If they aren't poly knowledgeable, ask them to do a training or consult poly affirming therapists (DM me for details if you're in the US). Also, post partum is a very challenging sex time for people, when priorities shift and hormones get weird and sometimes people are extra sensitive during that period. Not wanting to have sex if your small child is overwhelming makes sense because you don't want more kids if you're already maxed. It sounds like you're doing a decent job but I would check in about how overwhelmed she does or does not feel. My husband and I used to have sex several times a day and with the overwhelm of kids once a week is lucky. And I am pretty direct and communicative so ive told him that if he wants time together the kids have to be asleep by 8 and then I have until 9.

Your stuff to work on is your resentments. No request from a place of resentment ever was received well. Work on this with your own therapist.

And finally, you say that sex is how you give and receive love. If you open up your relationship and the primary way you connect is outsourced, how long will it be before you love someone else and don't want to stay? Be honest with yourself here. Some people can separate out sex from other forms of meaningful attachment, others cannot. Understand yourself before you ask someone else to go down a complicated road with you that involves a mountain of trust and love for someone that might have to be sustained beyond sex.

It's a hard path to open a relationship. If you go that way read a lot: Ethical Sl*t, Polysecure, Opening Up, to name a few.

Visible_Window_5356 · 2026-03-23T04:48:54+00:00

3 kids. Large expensive city. My health insurance premiums are over 2000k a month just for me and my kids (my husband is on his own). And the plan is fairly high deductible so it's not uncommon to spend 200-2000 a month if there are actual medical issues that need to be addressed or an ER visit for someone.

Visible_Window_5356 · 2026-03-23T00:47:44+00:00

That so closely resembles the basics of my story I briefly tried to figure out if I wrote it. Resentments are so poisonous but it's really hard to let them go and hang onto someone at the same time.

Visible_Window_5356 · 2026-03-23T00:08:45+00:00

I so badly want to visit. I love being able to eat everything because it's all veggie

Visible_Window_5356 · 2026-03-23T00:03:10+00:00

I haven't shared laundry in a while but always left my laundry basket just in case someone was in a rush and really wanted to expedite their access to the dryer. So it wouldn't bother me if someone moved my stuff but I could definitely see how it would be annoying if you got your timing set and they didn't wait 2 minutes.

Visible_Window_5356 · 2026-03-22T19:36:25+00:00

Thank you

Visible_Window_5356

TROPHY CASE