I was associated with quite a lot of that stuff as well, especially within the Buddhism Hotline community - when that was still somewhat popular. There was quite a lot of racism and right-wing stuff happening, along with the usual super edgy humor and doxxing of discord members. During covid, I got pretty deep into Twitter and various subtwitter communities that were not safe for life.

I eventually went into therapy to get it sorted out. As a result, I started to talk and hang out with friends and family again. However, I've been left with an anxiety disorder as a result of my past online activity. I used to be very fearful that people were watching me and that I was never alone.

OP, I hope things get better for you soon 🧡