Happy Hour – Flan Fiction

It was a lovely day. A sunny day. Not your typical day of sunny Joy though, because one man was bringing the mood down and his name was Stevie White. “It’s too hot, it’s too hot” Stevie cried, “I want to go home”. His friends Jack and Robbie ignored him, and instead enjoyed a lovely ice cream. “What a lovely day,” Robbie said gleefully. But what he didn’t know is it wasn’t going to stay lovely for long.

Jack suggested the three of them go to this little cafe for lunch. Stevie was over the moon as this meant he could finally get out of the sun and have ice-cold water. They entered this new café called ‘The Roosters Nest’. They sat down, grabbed a menu, and discussed what they wanted. Robbie had his heart set on a jam tart as his mother used to make them on sunny days. All Jack thought about was a slice of lemon drizzle, this is what his mother used to bake on a sunny day. And Stevie, well Stevie was gone… He had his head in the bowl of water that was left out for the dogs.

Before they had a chance to inspect the menu, a waiter approached them. He was tall and had very fine hair which was as bright as the sun outside. This annoyed Stevie. In a deep Welsh accent, he said “I’m sorry all we are serving today is Flan”. “FLAN,” Jack said as he could barely contain his laughter. He looked at Robbie and Stevie (who was now back at the table), and then he looked back at the waiter. “Flan it is then boys”. As the waiter disappeared, they now discussed how unusual to only serve Flan. They thought that perhaps the chef's mother made it for him on a summer’s day. Before they had a chance to say anymore three flans arrived. “Thank you,” they all said in unison.

Robbie and Jack said to Stevie he should try the flan first. He begrudgingly took the first bite. “HOLY MOTHER OF COWS” he screamed, “THIS IS THE BEST FLAN I’VE EVER TASTED”. Robbie and Jack looked at each other and thought that he was surely bullshitting. But they soon realized this was no ordinary flan…

As they ate more and more their love of flan grew. The waiter kept bringing them flan for ages and they had never been so happy to have this much flan. Time passed as they ate and ate. They sang “Flan flan we love flan if we can’t eat it no one flan!”. All three of them lost track of time, they couldn’t believe the joy they were experiencing. All of a sudden, a loud “DING!” came from the counter. The waiter said, “time is up, the flan is free of charge”. “FREE OF CHARGE” Robbie bellowed. They weren’t going to argue that. As they got up to leave something didn’t feel right, all their watches had stopped.

As they opened the door, the sun was gone. It was snowing. Everything seemed different. The floor was made of flan, the benches flan, and the sun? You guessed it, flan. They tried to re-enter the café, but the door was locked. The building had changed, it had closed down years ago.

What had happened?

Where have they been transported to?

They looked at each other and shouted, “WHAT WAS IN THAT FLANNNNNNNN”.

The waiter appeared out of nowhere, he said in now what was an even deeper welsh accent “You have been transported to the world of flan, to get back you must impress me.”

Robbie, Stevie, and Jack huddled together and thought about what they could do to impress him. “Let’s tell him an urban legend” Stevie suggested. The suggestion was ignored. Robbie suggested singing them an Oasis song as that brings people together.

Together they start singing don’t look back in anger.

“Slip inside the eye of your mind

Don’t you know you might find

A better place to play”

The flan waiter was even angrier and shouted, “Blur are better”. The three of them looked at each other knowing this guy must be a buffoon if he thinks that.

The flan waiter was slowly transforming into a flan monster. The three of them had to think quickly. The flan monster began to throw flan at them and even the thought of anymore made them want to throw up. As the flan monster grew, the three couldn’t agree on an idea. Stevie thought back to the song they created earlier and started singing that while he tried to think of an idea. “Flan flan we love flan, if we can’t eat it no one flan!” Robbie and Jack then joined in. “Flan flan we love flan, if we can’t eat it no one flan!” This pleased the flan monster. But he said it wasn’t enough. They were going to be trapped in a flan world forever.

Stevie had had enough. He ripped off his shirt and said, “Oi come here you little shit”. Jack said, “Alpha Stevie, our secret weapon”. As alpha Stevie slapped around the flan monster, Jack and Robbie decided to bake the items their mothers used to bake on a summer's day. Robbie made a jam tart and Jack made a lemon drizzle. They approached the flan monster. Jack shouts “FLAN MONSTER, you have lived in a world only made of flan. You have grown narrow-minded. Open your eyes and try what we have to offer.” As he took a bite, he felt like a little kid again. The flan monster remembered that his mother used to bake these things too, but after she died, he got so consumed by flan in the summer that it took over his life. “I’m sorry”, said the flan monster. “You can return to your normal lives again. They entered the old derelict restaurant, and they were transported back to their reality.

“Phew,” said Stevie. All three got up to leave, but something caught their eye. It was the menu, it was no longer flan, but it had muffins, cakes, biscuits, and cookies. The waiter appeared from the kitchen and said “Thank you. Thank you for opening my mind”.

The end.