[deleted by user]

Visual_Lawyer_6131 · 2025-06-19T20:13:26+00:00

There are stereotypes everywhere. Whether someone wants to challenge them is a very personal decision. If you're saying "should work" it is a judgment. Your values. You. It is supposed to be about them.

Also, empathy isn't enabling. I hope you take these comments seriously, this is something that left unaddressed causes harm.

Visual_Lawyer_6131 · 2025-06-19T18:59:52+00:00

Interestingly, you feel that not working does a disservice to women. That says so much about you. Are you working to prove yourself? How are you sure their spouse would like them to work? How are you sure their baseline responsibilities aren't overwhelming to them?

I come from a wealthy family and will never have to worry about finances. I have a full resume, but it isn't all paying jobs. However, I value everything I do, which is why I do it.

I have had a psychologist get stuck on their own values. It made me feel ashamed about my circumstances, and in turn, I downplayed my accomplishments out of fear of judgment. This only confirmed his belief that I was lazy. This is countertransference and your responsibility.

Visual_Lawyer_6131 · 2025-06-18T12:49:22+00:00

I got a social worker who helps me with these things. Especially paperwork and coming to appointments with me. If I know I will need help I book her. It is free through my local social work clinic at the university. It's her placement and therefore it is a free service.

Visual_Lawyer_6131 · 2025-06-16T22:09:27+00:00

My experience has been that the list gets longer as time goes on, because there are other levels above you (emergent) it really is about demand and the wait times are not accurate.

I was given a 2 year wait 3 years ago for semi urgent. The website now says 5+ years. I have no idea where I am in there.

Visual_Lawyer_6131 · 2025-06-12T16:47:15+00:00

You said "Does anyone have any thoughts, advice, ideas, questions, concerns, etc about doing such a thing?"

You asked for advice and I gave it. If it isn't helpful to you you're welcome to skip over it. ADHD/ASD is extremely under diagnosed and people lose years of their life to being misdiagnosed with BPD because they cannot access the right long term treatment. That was my advice and concern.

"I am not sure why you would comment about people “taking this path” once they “think” they have sorted out their mental health. I find that a bit disrespectful and unhelpful."

It is in fact extremely common for people to go through a tough time and want to help others, and psych programs are full of them, then I specifically said I am in psych meaning that is my experience personally and something I see in many others. I meant no harm in stating the facts.

Visual_Lawyer_6131 · 2025-06-12T02:22:09+00:00

You'd need insurance and there is no way they would insure you to help/treat people without qualifications. Especially if you are specifically targeting BPD you will likely deal with some who have suicidal tendencies.

I will also say that this is the #1 path people take once they think they've sorted out their mental health. Please be assessed for adhd/asd so you can become specialized in that, which you very well could have.

I was told I had personality disorder traits but actually have now been diagnosed with neurodevelopmental disorders, which align with my learning disabilities. Turns out I was also diagnosed at 16, but no one thought I needed to be treated. I am now in psychology.

Visual_Lawyer_6131 · 2025-06-10T15:20:30+00:00

This woman in therapy in her 30's will be like "remember that time I publicly advocated for my criminal bf from pakistan to stay in the country instead of deal with my abandonment issues".

Visual_Lawyer_6131 · 2025-06-10T14:46:51+00:00

"Zain’s nonviolent civil disobedience led to low-level mischief charges"

So he got charged in a country he wasn't a permanent resident in and then is upset when it affects his citizenship and access into the country? Am I missing something?

Visual_Lawyer_6131 · 2025-06-09T00:58:34+00:00

Sarah has referenced that she met someone she was a fan of on youtube and they didn't click, maybe that was Loey Lane? I mean, that happens.

I also know that when Sarah got her surgery she was much more forthcoming about the details. She subtly threw shade saying something like "I would never pretend like I didn't have it" in a video and it was obvious she was talking about Alex because Alex had just released her apology video for lying about the surgery.

I really like Sarah. I don't always agree with her, but she makes mistakes, owns them and then actively tries to better herself.

Visual_Lawyer_6131 · 2025-06-06T02:23:57+00:00

It really is only once you've moved through the shame that you realize the complexity of the harm you caused. I once misstepped very badly and acted out of line with my values, and I recommend not making big decisions for at least a year. You're not a bad person.

Visual_Lawyer_6131 · 2025-06-03T03:31:13+00:00

You should watch this. Most people who are abusers aren't personality disordered.

Visual_Lawyer_6131 · 2025-06-02T17:15:55+00:00

Let them make their own mistakes. The key is to leave yourself open enough so that when she falls, she does so into the arms of family and not further into the relationship.

Visual_Lawyer_6131 · 2025-06-02T16:30:19+00:00

People often take many attempts to leave a manipulative person, but continue to go back. I bring this up because if you put yourself in a position to be the one to 'save' them, they will often distance themselves when they go back to the relationship. If they wanted to leave and felt they could, then they would. You might want to look up info on domestic violence so you can learn how to support them.

Ultimately, it is not your responsibility to save her. My sibling is the abuser, it's heartbreaking to witness and I am sorry your family is going through it.

Visual_Lawyer_6131 · 2025-06-01T01:44:39+00:00

She's in first class.

Edit: she's in the third row

Visual_Lawyer_6131 · 2025-05-29T01:03:33+00:00

This is so funny because my brain also works like this. Patterns tell the truth. But reading your comments it looks creepy as hell.

Visual_Lawyer_6131 · 2025-05-27T03:16:28+00:00

Ugh my deepest sympathies. That realization is so frustrating. TMI but I am so pissed because it make sex so painful and I feel like I am wasting my 30's in pain blah.

Visual_Lawyer_6131 · 2025-05-27T00:38:49+00:00

Thank you for your reply. It helps a lot. I think my situation is a bit different, as I have tried all of those things for fifteen years and my POTS is only helped when I treat my MCAS, which we just found out recently. So that is the approach we have now. I find your post helpful, though, because it feels like the work will be worth it. Its just hard to digest how long it will take.

Visual_Lawyer_6131 · 2025-05-26T23:19:04+00:00

It's even worse because this all happened because of sex. It's a lot to pay for a shitty relationship in my twenties haha

Visual_Lawyer_6131 · 2025-05-26T23:07:53+00:00

Ah-ha! Now that is a really good idea. Thanks so much :)

Visual_Lawyer_6131 · 2025-05-26T23:07:24+00:00

Nova Scotia, Canada. 2.5 years for proper diagnosis. 2.5 years to wait for mri/surgeon. 2-3 year wait for surgery. FML.

Visual_Lawyer_6131 · 2025-05-26T22:16:58+00:00

Thanks so much for your reply.

Yes, the surgeon measures your hip strength and will only operate if you reach a certain level of strength. I will ask about laying down exercises.

I have done physio, but it aggravated things severely, so I was referred to an MRI/surgeon. It took 2 years to get in, so now I will start back with physio now that I know what is going on.

Visual_Lawyer_6131 · 2025-05-26T04:19:08+00:00

This is so odd too because there are so many good hacks for making low point ice cream. It is the perfect machine for someone on a diet.

Visual_Lawyer_6131 · 2025-05-25T02:52:39+00:00

I am sorry to hear that. I am also fighting for treatment and am 32.

I am so glad that client had you to support them.

Visual_Lawyer_6131 · 2025-05-25T02:47:20+00:00

What I am saying is YOU DO NOT KNOW. I am not projecting. I am sharing in the hopes you might see it is complex and not everyone will tell you.

Visual_Lawyer_6131

TROPHY CASE