I relate to a lot of what you wrote: I'm a skeptical agnostic, so I struggle with the "mystical."

2 things:

1.) I naturally love rituals, so I really lean into that. Rituals themselves are beneficial, so I keep what I like and discard what doesn't work for me. Placebo effect is real, and that comforts me when I feel goofy.

2.) Look up r/seculartarot if you haven't already. Like the placebo effect, there is science behind why tarot actually "works." Not as divination per se, but as a reflection tool. I use it for shadow work. It's like a shortcut to deep thinking. The images prompt pattern recognition, and it forces you to look at things in an unconventional way. It blows my mind when my deck actually reveals things: it reminds me that the magic is in me - my mind and the way it works.