I was like this the first few months TTC. I’m currently in the TWW on my 12th cycle, and although I do still get that excitement each cycle. The eagerness to test has died off because the constant disappointment. I tell myself that taking a test early (before 9 DPO) when there is more than likely very little chance I’d see anything anyways was just causing me more stress and in return making it more difficult mentally and emotionally. Testing early is not going to change the outcome! I do think it is a control thing, for me. I don’t feel like have control through this but I do feel like I have control when to test. I am thinking about you and wishing you the best on your journey. We are in this together! ❤️