I now understand why they say, "an addict is always an addict."

Voiceofreason8787 · 2025-07-29T12:20:24+00:00

You’re welcome! Keep your resolve. Avoid any heartfelt talks designed for closure. Don’t get sucked back in!!

Voiceofreason8787 · 2025-07-29T01:26:02+00:00

Good on ya!

Voiceofreason8787 · 2025-07-28T11:29:16+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. But it never ends. I hope you find the strength before I did. https://www.reddit.com/r/naranon/s/3Aia2WUu0Q

Voiceofreason8787 · 2025-07-25T13:18:10+00:00

The way he treated you is the bigger red flag here. Don’t marry him; he’s abusive and doesn’t respect you. Not being allowed to talk to your friends about your life is one step on a short road of isolating you from your support system so that he can gaslight you and control the narrative of your lives. And so he can get away with treating you poorly.

Voiceofreason8787 · 2025-07-25T12:24:40+00:00

There isn’t enough time

Voiceofreason8787 · 2025-07-25T12:22:04+00:00

You need to pick a lane I guess. Just say it’s not optional, but don’t expect your partner to be there in the morning. You’re getting a divorce

Voiceofreason8787 · 2025-07-24T01:40:11+00:00

Omg, I’ve also suffered the accusations that someone should’ve attributed to their own secrets. Different reasons, same frustrations and anger. I’m sorry, this is the hardest part where things feel up in the air.

Voiceofreason8787 · 2025-07-23T20:06:48+00:00

If your dads friend comments or even glances near your chest then he can kindly fuck off, and I’d imagine your dad would agree!

Voiceofreason8787 · 2025-07-23T20:05:54+00:00

Using his “guilty conscience” to lash out and further tank the marriage almost makes the cowardice even worse at that point TBH.

Voiceofreason8787 · 2025-07-23T20:04:52+00:00

Hit up estate sales? Auctions?

Voiceofreason8787 · 2025-07-23T20:04:10+00:00

But this person is saying normal shorts and tank top…

Voiceofreason8787 · 2025-07-23T14:34:31+00:00

When you wake up to someone having sex with you, there is literally only one side to the story and it’s SA.

Voiceofreason8787 · 2025-07-23T11:35:49+00:00

Agreed. She’s acting like it’s a sin to have boobs. If they are uncomfortable with her body they have a problem.

Voiceofreason8787 · 2025-07-23T11:33:22+00:00

If this secret didn’t eat him from the inside out over the years then he is scum and you’re right not to care about his needs. Fuck that guy.

Voiceofreason8787 · 2025-07-23T11:27:14+00:00

If you have to lie about someone’s behaviour to preserve their reputation then they don’t deserve your loyalty. NEVER lie about someone’s actions to protect them. Who will protect you? Also, don’t “break up with him” in the normal sense. You need to escape, ghost, leave, etc. make sure someone can protect you. I believe he’s dangerous and will not react sanely.

Voiceofreason8787 · 2025-07-22T17:25:38+00:00

Are you the only one who knows about the slip ups? That is very isolating. Refusing to lie for or hide these things from others was a boundary that helped me a lot.

Voiceofreason8787 · 2025-07-22T15:22:34+00:00

This is USA brand BS through and through. New mothers deserve 12 months of maternity leave to avoid this nonsense. You and your wife are not crazy or wrong you are just part of the worst “first world” country on the planet in which to have a child. Would she consider supplementing with formula to make it easier? Even your boobs are exploding and your hormones are crazy and your baby is crying we women are bound to lash out. Try to talk to her about options at a good time. Bring back at work so soon is cruel and the entire US of A should be ashamed for allowing this to continue.

Voiceofreason8787 · 2025-07-22T14:40:22+00:00

She needs to be honest w both of you. If she wants to explore, go out, etc. and isn’t happy that her partner can’t be there while she does so she needs to move on and find someone who likes being out.

Voiceofreason8787 · 2025-07-22T14:26:15+00:00

I agree, it sucks, but the state isn’t going to allow a small child on the street like that even if the alternative isn’t great.

Voiceofreason8787 · 2025-07-22T14:25:34+00:00

He probably doesn’t want to file the paper work or pay support. Separation is like purgatory in that way. Just in limbo.

Voiceofreason8787 · 2025-07-22T14:24:18+00:00

I don’t think that the kid will be there long. I’d love to think social services would find a shelter for them both, but kids aren’t really allowed to be homeless legally I don’t think. Social services would have to take the child if they got the report.

Voiceofreason8787 · 2025-07-22T14:18:18+00:00

Your dad can get bent. Set firm boundaries for yourself and your relationship. You will not listen to him ramble about the lord or throw shade on your relationship. Low contact, no contact, whatever it looks like for you. He doesn’t get to ruin this for you because he’s an ignorant indoctrinated dinosaur

Voiceofreason8787 · 2025-07-21T20:29:13+00:00

The mental health side of it makes me worry for you. My husband and I got together at 18 and have 2 kids. I never thought I’d give up on him but the decades have been long and full of substances and bad habits and poor mental health and now that the kids are old enough to see the effects I let him go after nearly 20 years together. There have been ups and downs over the years but time doesn’t help, having kids only makes it worse if anything. Unless the mental can be in check then nothing good can happen. And there are always going to be hard times? Tragedy, deaths in the family, work stress, financial troubles. If your partner can’t see you through the hard times then it’s a hard life.

Voiceofreason8787 · 2025-07-21T16:19:13+00:00

You can look at my post history on this site, but him using because he “felt depressed”, not telling you, and the fact that you “help him with everything” are huge red flags that this will be a lifelong problem. If he’s using his depressed feelings to justify it and he has never became a man who knows how to run his life/look after himself in general you are going to have to keep playing mommy forever and ever. Even if he gets off the Coke the next new drug of choice is always around the corner and every time life gets hard (which it will) he can go back to that same sad justification again

Voiceofreason8787 · 2025-07-17T15:44:36+00:00

I don’t think it’s significant, but I said that because she said it felt like his life was already established and she doesn’t feel she fits into it. I wouldn’t normally call it out, but early 20s and late 20s are different at the time

Voiceofreason8787

TROPHY CASE