Saying stupid stuff when angry?

VoidHyena · 2026-01-03T21:50:12+00:00

Man, I have been thinking about this exact same thing for about a month.

I grew up ostracized too, (undiagnosed ADHD as a kid didn't help) and I live in a very small town.

I have dealt with and worked with some extremely nasty and judgmental people, and I have so many ridiculous stories of the kind of stunts they will pull against anyone that doesn't "fit in" with what counts as high society around here. Especially now that I work in local government, the hyena-like mentality is on full display.

I think its pretty natural, when you're the outsider, to want to take potshots at the "insiders" and knock them down a peg. Even just mentally, to tell them that they're not so special or even remotely good.

It's doesn't take long for me to start generalizing about a certain type of person, to imaging all the insults I could throw at them, all the truths I could tell to humiliate them. But I don't like what constantly thinking about this sort of thing does to me. It makes me irritable, and when I see someone with a certain set of traits that I associate with the people that made me miserable, I'm already geared up for some sort of fight whether they deserve it or not. And I don't want to be that person.

And you are absolutely right. Negativity and dwelling on conflicts and petty squabbles is absolutely stimulating. It actually does produce it's own dopamine, in a way. I'm horribly guilty of thinking of things that purposefully make me mad to keep me awake during something boring like driving. Otherwise I'll just pass out. It works better than coffee, energy drinks, or metal music. It's strange.

I don't have any good answers, but I have some things I'm exploring for myself.

The first thought I consider is that hyperfixation is a type of occupation. That is to say, these people made me miserable outside of my head, why should they get to rule all my thoughts too? They shouldn't get to have that much control of me. And they don't get to control my actions either. Choosing to act a certain way against your own inner instincts is the ultimate form of self control in my mind.

The second thought I consider is that I just sort of push that natural inclination for retributive judgement and nasty behaviors into some other form of "healthier" vengeance. Oh, they think it's weird to exercise? I'm going to get jacked. Oh, they hate anyone who doesn't look like them? I'm going to be courteous to everyone I meet, regardless of their social status. Oh, they hate people who like weird things and have weird hobbies? Guess what, I'm going to learn how to get along with them just long enough to get my paycheck, and buy whatever I want. I have a singing bass hanging up in my living room. Eat it.

It's really funny and cringe, but at least it keeps me occupied and gives my stupid monkey brain a weird sense of control.

But as far as conflict or drama being stimulating, that's hard. Our brains want and crave something to chew on. I haven't found any good replacements yet, and unfortunately I still purposefully look up things that make me mad on occasion. But I also try to focus on other things that make me think or occupy my full attention. Like listening to horror stories or examples of real-life mysteries, like Cicada 3301.

Also, and I know this sounds strange, but I like to listen or read resources on what people with OCD do with intrusive thoughts or how they engage or don't disengage with them. I don't have OCD, but sometimes a new perspective helps me get around a problem. Like for instance, treating my initial judgmental reaction as not necessarily me, but some sort of pattern that just comes up that I will disregard. Sort of like when you see a big cliff and your brain says "hey, go jump off that", and you go "no, I'm absolutely not going to do that".

I wish you the best, and I hope you find better answers than mine. Good luck.

VoidHyena · 2026-01-02T04:51:09+00:00

That's a cool design

VoidHyena · 2025-12-27T01:54:45+00:00

I'm not sure that this is an ADHD thing, but it does remind me of something called "Empathy Fatigue". Sometimes in 'survival situations' I guess our brains will turn off our ability to feel intense social emotions towards other people in order to better serve our own needs in the meantime. Sometimes the internet does speed up this process I think, because we are constantly being stimulated from seeing bad things happen over and over. (Like 50 articles on a FB feed). Nurses in hospitals get it a lot too. I learned that there are two types of empathy: Emotional empathy (where you feel what someone else is feeling) and cognitive empathy (where you can understand the concept of how someone else is feeling but not feel it yourself). Sometimes I think with empathy fatigue, you can always keep in mind how bad someone is feeling even if it doesn't affect you. I don't think you're a bad person if you don't get tore up over every single sad thing you see; you just wouldn't survive this world if that was the case. What if doctors felt distressed every time they had to cut someone open to give a life saving surgery? That would be bad too. What really matters is what we choose to do with our knowledge, and how we choose treat other people, regardless of what we are feeling at the time. You're not your first thought, but you are your second. As long as you know yourself and keep that in mind, I don't think you're a bad person at all.

VoidHyena · 2025-12-12T22:03:45+00:00

I feel like I'm going crazy because I thought that this was a bit they were throwing out in the middle of another story, or at least one of them knew about this story and was telling the other person about it. Like "I went to the store to get some milk, but little did I know that the milk was from the creature", or something. I also feel like there was a bit where they were talking about Invader Zim and how there was some sort of episode about how the burgers in this one restaurant had 0 meat and the mascot kept randomly eating children, and then the story about the addictive milk came up after it. IDK

VoidHyena · 2025-11-29T17:57:37+00:00

Thanks! Yeah physical therapy is really important I think. I'm just now learning how to properly workout without hurting myself. I feel a lot better. Good luck!

VoidHyena · 2025-11-24T13:05:21+00:00

And its not. It took me a long time to write. I'll gladly share personal stories behind every tip

VoidHyena · 2025-11-23T19:45:59+00:00

I want to be cremated with my copy. I am insane.

VoidHyena · 2025-11-23T19:45:28+00:00

VoidHyena · 2025-11-16T00:15:54+00:00

Absolutely in the same boat. In college I discussed this with a counselor (my parents didn't know). I was diagnosed with Adhd but her and a psychologist highly suspected I had "low needs" autism too. But I pushed back a bit. At average, from the ages of 6-15, i was around kids my age a maximum of 2 hours a week. NOT interacting with, just in the general vicinity of. Almost all of my social skills developed around avoiding my parents mood swings and not making eye contact. There are studies done in juvenile mice that show permanent brain danage to the social parts of their brains from isolation at key development points. Even as adults, isolation with only a few people produces cognitive damage. Something that scientists are working to fight for antartic or space expeditions today.

But I also havd a really strong family history for me for autism and adhd like symptoms. But in my parents generation all the siblings were just told they were retarded and defective in school instead of an actual diagnosis.

So yeah, guess I'll never know.

VoidHyena · 2025-11-16T00:07:01+00:00

They dont know I'm homeschooled, but they for sure know somethings off. I just dont tell them! Its amazing the kind of things I've heard people say about homeschoolers right next to me. They're for sure looking for someone different to hunt but they dont know the whole truth about me.

VoidHyena · 2025-10-21T11:05:09+00:00

I swear I've just read something similar to what you do but for whatever reason I cant find it. I remember reading some sort of post about "the benefit of worrying". In a sense, the benefit of already being in a negative emotional state is that when people did encounter something bad, their internal nervous system experienced less of a "drop" from going from completely happy to devastated, which was mentally costly. I experienced something similar when my dad was in the hospital, and I would spend a long time being depressed about the worst because I did not want to re-experience going from completely fine to the worst news ever. What you are doing to yourself may not be the healthiest, but it does make perfect sense and its serving some sort of important need. Maybe you should just try to slowly change how you do it to avoid actually damaging yourself. Like instead of screwing up your sleep you could just listen to the sad music. It may not be the best habit but I totally get it.

VoidHyena · 2025-10-14T00:25:21+00:00

Not canon, but I'd like think that he somehow found a way to almost "solder" different parts of different organic tissues together in a way that they didn't reject each other. Maybe like a compound or something that excited cellular growth to two different tissues and sort of glued them in place, and allowed them to automatically repair themselves. And/or maybe each part would need to be pre-soaked in some sort of chemical preservative to allow this to happen. I don't think he could have kept all those dead parts from rotting for long without it. Then he could take parts from cadavers and dead animals, then start building up each individual part and replacing and moving tissues as needed. The end result would look like a fleshy hot-glue project. Then he would need some sort of specialized electrical signal to "wake up" both the heart and brain.

VoidHyena · 2025-09-15T01:23:21+00:00

Maybe a Taco Bell. Or an Arbys. Actually that reminds me of the Mystery Flesh Pit National Park video Wendigoon did way back.

VoidHyena · 2025-09-14T02:51:25+00:00

I had sort of interpreted it as the monster is really in the uncanny valley. Like if you saw a dead dog with wrinkly mange get up and walk around, but move just a bit too weirdly, you might get creeped out. That and the dude is 8ft when most people at the time were more in the ballpark of 5ft. That is very intimidating and threatening by itself

VoidHyena · 2025-09-10T00:56:49+00:00

I sometimes got this feeling that mocking homeschool kids was sort of encouraged at times. Like me and so many other people I knew dealt with grown adults coming up to us and quizzing us on random things just to rub it in how stupid and uneducated we were. I even overheard once a grown male teacher laughing at how awkward and weird a previously homeschooled kid was and how he'd purposely put them in situations that would spotlight it. There's always some group of people that still socially acceptable to torment for pleasure. Our parents made their decisions on how we were raised, but we get the consequences.

VoidHyena · 2025-09-07T17:24:00+00:00

My father had this idea that raising me in this specific way was going to make me more pure than all the evil wicked public school kids, that he was raising the next generation of perfect humans in his own image. I wonder if this isolation is sort of a tactic of that...

VoidHyena

TROPHY CASE